Welcome to The Hunt
by Viraqua
Summary: Prior events and a declining shinobi force leads Tsunade to throw morals to the wind and set Konoha upon itself in a hunt for big game.
1. The Problem

This is a little...big side project I've been working on in parallel with my other story. It takes on a main event, and has many endings. Some good, some bad, some really bad. Expect Age Difference, BDSM, Torture, and possibly even Guro in some of them, ( I'll label them as bad endings). Until then, enjoy the first one

If one knew Senju Tsunade, they would gasp at the sight that would behold them if they entered the doors of the Hokage's office. In the Godaime's hand was not a sake cup or even a stamp going at a hundred miles an hour. It was reports, being carefully scrutinized by the Senju princess, and she didn't like what she saw.

This particular report was of the shinobi birthrate, babies born between shinobi parents. In the last two years there had been four...FOUR! She also had reports on the dynamics of the shinobi academy. In the last 4 years, the percentage of shinobi parentage candidates had gone down from 33% to 16% with civilian candidates filling the vacant spots. Honestly how the hell were they supposed to bolster their numbers with such a dismal growth? More importantly, what the hell was causing it?

She had been cranking her brain over it for the past couple hours and knew she needed a break. Looking at the clock on the wall, she knew Shizune was with her VIP patient right now going through rehabilitation. She decided to walk to the hospital and check up on him. Setting down the reports, she locked up the office and headed out of the tower.

Tsunade walked among the bustle of the village. The crowds buying various items from the vendors, the kids running past playing ninja, the group of kunoichis gabbing at a local restaurant

"He's such a pig!" she heard from the group. She stopped to listen.

"He's tried asking me out 5 times in the last two weeks, knowing full well that I don't have the time for a relationship. What's worse is the only reason he asked me out is because he got tired of being knocked out every time Minami rejected him."

"Seriously! That's as bad as Subaru. I thought he'd never stop pining for me, and then he goes and starts dating a civilian."

"Really? What a loser"

She listened for a good 5 minutes as the group rambled on like schoolgirls, yet they were all in their twenties. The look in Tsunade's eyes was that of contemplation and a grim understanding. The Kunoichi of this village were making theirselves unattainable with overinflated egos, absurd expectations, and as much as she hated to admit it, too much feminism. Worse yet, it seemed to accelerate three years ago according to the reports...when she took office.

With a somber look on her face she continued on. Every so often she'd see a kunoichi slug a male counterpart for saying something perverted, or staring at the wrong parts at the wrong time. Little by little her mood went south, until she ran across something that tipped the scale.

"For the last time, No! I'm not going on a date with you!" she heard a kunoichi shout near a fence line. Tsunade looked over to see an angry kunoichi and a downtrodden shinobi.

"Honestly, is that all you men think about? Most likely trying to get me to sleep with you!" the irate female ranted on.

"Why not?", the kunoichi heard from behind her.

"What the...Hokage-sama!" she shouted when she saw the leader of the village behind her.

"Why not? In the end, that's all dating and marriage are, are mating rituals. So why not go on a date?", Tsunade pressed on.

" Wha...Because it's perverted", the Kunoichi answered like it was the dumbest question ever.

"Perverted...having sex is perverted. Sex is human nature! There's nothing perverted about dating or sex or anything to do with it!", she cried out.

" W-what? But you yourself shun every advance from a man and look where you got Hokage-sama!", the kunoichi defended.

_Started when I came into office_. The words played through her head.

" I got a horrible position with too much paperwork, no husband, no kids, and no time to correct the biggest mistake of my life! Do not emulate me!", she yelled out while shaking the poor girl.

"B..but he's n..not mmmy type Hokage-sama", the literally shaken kunoichi blurted between shakes.

Everything stopped.

"...type...He's not your. ...type. What exactly is your TYPE?", the less than completely lucid Hokage asked in a less than normal tone.

"Umm...sensitive...emotional...sophisticated...talkative?", she asked unsurely.

Tsunade looked at her wideeyed, a twitch in her right eye. " You...you just defined a woman".

"R..really?", the girl stuttered out. She dropped to the ground suddenly as the Hokage let go and started to stumble away, mumbling about how her female ninja were all turning into chaste lesbians.

"Wh...what was that all about?", the Kunoichi asked, confused as to what happened. Before she could wonder about it further she felt herself being hoisted up and slung over her male counterparts shoulder.

"What do you think you're doing?", she demanded.

" Taking you on a date", he answered simply. She started struggling.

" I said no!", she yelled.

" You also said you want to be an old chaste lesbian with no children, and like hell am I letting that happen!" he retorted back.

" Hmpf!", she pouted. She did not say that.

Tsunade walked glumly the rest of the way to the hospital, her own words reverberating through her head. No Husband. No Kids. No time. She had a lover long ago, and when he died, instead of trying to find another after a suitable period of grief, she had wasted that time grieving for a man that was dead and gone. Even when he was alive, she had always been too busy worrying about her career and other people to have children.

"No, I'm not going to let this generation make the same mistake I did. They've made themselves unattainable, I have to crush that idea to dust", the wizened woman thought in her head, a determined look on her face. But how? These thoughts plagued her as she walked into the rehabilitation ward.

She looked up to see twenty blondes moving around clumsily. It would have been hilarious was it not for the reason they were.

" Shizune, how is this helping Naruto?", she asked the girl helping the original move around.

Shizune looked up along with Naruto. " If he can practice the Rasenshuriken with them, why not help with motor skills", she reasoned quite convincingly.

"Why didn't I think of that?", Tsunade whined her shoulders sagging. She looked to Naruto after a while.

"How are you doing gaki?", she asked the teen in a caring voice.

" It's a pain, but I'm getting better at moving around, especially thanks to Nee-chan. Plus, I haven't seen a certain pink haired bitch in days so things are really looking up", he said seriously.

That certain pink haired bitch was the reason he had to relearn how to walk and move around. After another failed attempt at getting the Uchiha, Sakura took her anger out on Naruto. If the punch didn't do it, the boulder his head cracked on from the impact, or the fact she left him like that until someone found him and took him to the hospital did. She would love to thank whoever did save him, but the nurses couldn't remember who it was.

When Tsunade found out what had happened, she was pissed to say the least. Sakura was stripped of her apprenticeship and position at the hospital, and was lucky she got out of that office with her life. She didn't see it that way and went to the hospital to make her displeasure known to Naruto.

That was when the first sign that Naruto's personality had somewhat...changed... from the injury.

*flashbackuru*

Naruto woke up slowly, his vision blurry and disoriented. All he could see was white. As his vision started to clear, he could see symmetrical lines in the white. White tiles. He put two and two together and figured he was in the hospital, staring up at the white tiled ceiling.

He turned his head to see cards on the table next to the bed along with a vase full of flowers. They...couldn't be for him could they? How long was he out? The last thing he remembered was Sakura screaming at him about not getting Sasuke again and then punching him. He felt anger rise up in him. After all he had sacrificed to try and bring him back...THIS.

It was then that he heard the door fly open, "NARUTO! I lost my position because of YOU! I never figured you could be so low as to use your relationship with the Hokage to get your way!", the pink banshee screamed while marching toward him.

Any attempt she was going to make to harm him stalled when a kunai sliced deeply into her cheek. She stared at his outstretched hand and blood red eyes.

"GET OUT", he venomously growled out. She stood there dumbfounded until an IV stand found purchase in his throwing arm, " I SAID GET OUT YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!", he roared as he, or it, threw the IV stand with such force that it bent around her chakra enhanced guard. "Fine you DEMON!", she roared as bedpans and gurney guards followed her out.

He was about to throw the vase of flowers in rage, but controlled himself and put it down just before the Kyuubi's chakra receded and his movements became fumbles.

Another person entered and he tensed up, thinking it might be Sakura again. He turned as best he could to see another girl.

" Wow Naruto, you sure went all out didn't you? I'm surprised you didn't throw the vase at her", Ino said, amazed at the anger she felt even outside the room.

Naruto shook his head," Why waste such beautiful things by throwing them at such an ugly person. Thanks for the flowers by the way", he said in a tired voice.

" Don't mention it, really. It's not a good time when I have to send a get well assortment...who gave you this?", she asked, pulling the kunai that had been buried in the wall to the tether ring. "More importantly, how did you manage to aim well enough to slash her cheek when it has this big bow on it?", she asked incredulously while marveling at the craftsmanship of the weapon.

Naruto gave a bitter smile, " Don't tell anyone, but I wasn't aiming for her cheek", he stated ominously.

Ino put her hands on her hips, " And you were talking about wasting such good things on ugly people".

Naruto shrugged, " It could be washed off".

"I wasn't talking about the kunai. Would she really have been worth a murder charge?", she asked in a disapproving voice.

" Considering prior events, I'm sure it could have been turned into a self defense charge", he said like he thought it through already.

" Dark, Naruto. Very dark. I think, that's the first time I've ever heard you talk like that", she stated looking at him with concern. He decided to get off the subject.

" Well some say that your sins shine bright in the presence of an angel", he said with a smirk.

That completely floored Ino. Did Naruto, the clueless wonder just flirt with her...and convincingly to the point of her blushing?

She pointed at him, " Okay, who the hell are you and what did you do to Naruto?", she asked accusingly. He seemed to take it in stride.

"I'll tell you that when I figure it out and you should be asking the pink floorboard the last one", he said with an amused smile, " Until then could you tell me why my arms and legs aren't working like they should?".

Ino, regaining her thoughts, looked down at his chart. " Well...there was brain trauma caused, so it's possible it could have impaired your motor skills...it could also account for your...change in personality. Hmmm, what's your favorite food?".

"Ramen".

"Your favorite color?".

"Orange...for now".

" What do you want to be?".

" Hokage...possibly". He stated unsurely.

Ino looked baffled. Naruto was there, just one that seemed to be with doubt...or...thought? Reflection? She couldn't wrap her head around it. "Umm...I'll go tell the Hokage your awake", she stated unsurely.

" Wait, I need to go to the bathroom. How am I supposed to do that? Ino! Catheter me!", he stated with determination.

"Wh-wh..B-baka! I'm not putting a catheter in you! Use the bedpan!", she yelled with a furious blush as she stormed out the door.

"But I threw it out there!", he yelled just before his bedpan was thrown back at him, hitting him in the chest.

" Oww! I'm not into that whole pain is pleasure thing!...At least I think I'm not! Do it again but this time speak ill of me too!"

"Hentai!", he heard her yell from down the hall. He smiled as he laid down. This new way of life could be fun

*flashbakuru end*

When Tsunade heard the story from a simmering Ino, she couldn't help but snort. As much as she was worried about long term effects, the jolt to the head seemed to do him more good than bad. Or more bad than good, depending on what side of the gender spectrum you were on she supposed.

For Ino, it was the later as Tsunade made her put a catheter in him. The grumbling from her apprentice was amusing, as was the blush on her face afterwards that would put the Hyuuga heiress to shame.

" Good Naruto! I think by the end of the day, you should have most of your motor functions down" Shizune cheered at a slowly walking Naruto.

" Oh boy! Then, I'll learn the afflebet, and how to ride my bike, and how to count to a hundred million bajillion, and then, and then, how to tie my shoes!", he said humorously, causing the two women to laugh.

Once the joke passed Tsunade pondered on her previous predicament. Looking at the blonde in front of her, she decided to get a different perspective. Yes, hell had frozen over. She was going to ask advice from Naruto. But from what she's seen of the boy's altered personality, it might provide a sharper view than the idea would have bore before.

" Shizune, I'd like to speak with Naruto for a little bit. You can clock off and notify the next shift to reorganize the rehab center.", the blonde Hokage stated.

She got out of cleaning the place? Joy! " Hai Tsunade-sama!", she cheered as she bolted out the door, Naruto was caught up in the dust as he fell backwards into a chair Tsunade had pushed forward in preemption.

"One second Tsunade-chan", he said as he popped his clones. After regaining their memories, he got up with as much grace as a newly minted chunin. Not bad, but not what he was at.

"Honestly gaki, what the hell happened to the old nicknames? And why couldn't the new ones be any more respectable?", she groaned. It was one of the things that she had noticed after the injury. While she wasn't fond of Baa-chan, she couldn't say Tsunade-chan was any more comfortable but for different reasons.

" Respect is for the old Tsunade-chan"

" I'm 40 yea *slap*", she slapped her hand over her mouth and pierced him with a glare.

" Older than me?" he finished for her, " I don't believe that for one second".

" And why's that?", she asked frustratingly.

" Seeing is believing, Tsunade-chan"

" You'll never see it"

" Then I'll never believe it" he quipped. " And until you start acting your age young lady, you get stuck with Tsunade-chan", he said with his hands on his hips, mocking a stern parent.

She just shook her head, " Anyways!", she exclaimed, clearing the conversation. " I wanted your advice on something".

Naruto's eyebrows shot up faster than a window blind. " You...want my advice?", he asked incredulously, pointing at himself in the process. Tsunade nodded.

" It must be something very important to need a second opinion". She nodded a little eagerly.

" Something that could even hold the very future of the village in its hand". She nodded even more eagerly.

" I will help you to the best of my ability and together we will find a solution to this problem!", he declared, causing her to nod furiously.

" So what are we waiting for? Let's crack this nut wide open fifty ryou please". She gave a determined nod and reach for her wallet before pausing.

A second later the younger blond's cheek was being stretched out by the older one. " Nice try gaki!", she said with a smug smile.

" Hwas worf a shogh", he mumbled out. Batting the hand away from his cheek he regained himself, " Alright, it will be free this time, just cause it's for the lovely woman that keeps this village from blowing itself up".

She shook off the comment, " Alright. Say there's a woman that, if together with a certain man, would make the most powerful shinobi the village has ever seen. But the woman isn't even interested in getting to know the man or any men for that matter. What would you do?", she finished her example.

His expression took on one of deep concentration, staring past her as he thought of it. Then his eyes closed as he sighed, and looked back at her, " Force her", he stated with conviction.

" ...Force her...THAT'S your solution?", she asked angrily.

" Basically yes. To be more in depth, make them get married, and let the man take care of either mentally or physically convincing her with your backing of course". He elaborated.

Tsunade looked at him as her brows furrowed, " That sounds very close to rape", she retorted tensely.

" Well, you have to take into consideration that you're talking about pairing up ninja, which are alot more adaptable than civilians. It's not an enemy nin capturing and violently raping a kunoichi, where pain, death, and torture are the likely outcomes. It's more like a forced marriage and consummation, where the only outcome could be either love, kids and old age, or hating eachother's guts for the rest of their lives. Grr. I wish I had an example" he tried to explain.

Naruto perked up as the raven haired nurse that Shizune switched with walked into the room mumbling about cleaning up after her lazy superior. Before she knew it, her shoulders were being held fast.

"Nurse-chan, the Hokage has declared that we are now married.", he stated, looking seriously. Her expression was priceless, like someone had just told her, her house was on fire.

She looked pleadingly at the Hokage, but, playing along, she nodded in confirmation. " B-b-but I d-don't even know y-you!", she squeaked out.

Naruto nodded, " Indeed. But you will in a few days. For now though, it is our honeymoon, and we must consummate our marriage", he said seriously, gently pushing her up against the wall. Now she was a scared and nervous wreck. " I-but-I-I-but-no-I"

" Don't worry nurse-chan, once we get to my apartment, I'll do all the work. The first thing I'll do after I lay you on the bed, is bind your hands above your head with a silk scarf, making you feel helpless", he described as he pulled her arms above her slender wrists with one hand. "N-nn-no", she squeaked out in fear.

" Oh yes, and then once I've taken in your beautiful form I will!...", she tensed up, looking ready to scream. Her eyes shot open as a small, gentle kiss was laid on her lips, a look of..surprise?.. was on her face.

"Kiss you, and seeing the look of surprise in your face, I go in for another", he softly spoke before another gentle kiss was given.

"I...but I uh" she was cut off as another kiss enveloped her lips, this one lasting much longer that the last two. What used to be just fear was now mixed with what looked like nervousness.

" And after I have conquered your lips, I'll start conquering the rest of your beautiful body, starting with your neck", he said in a husky tone right into her ear.

"My...my neck *hahh*", she gasped in shallowly as he started kissing down the length of her neck, her nerves firing warning signals causing her to squirm. Then he started on the other side, slowly and lightly kissing his way down.

" This...this is too soon", she mumbled out. Naruto looked at her with a gentle ruthlessness and connected his lips with hers once again. Her eyes shot open in surprise when a tongue entered her mouth and started teasing hers. Her eyes glazed as she started to reciprocate.

She was too caught up in the kiss to realize, one by one, the buttons on the front of her uniform were being unbuttoned.

Naruto pulled away from the kiss, leaving her looking at him with a glazed expression.

Tsunade sat with a gawk and a blush. Where the hell did he learn how to do this? If he learned this from Jiraiya, what the hell had she been missing for so many decades? More importantly, it gave her the initial layout of what might be, the most controversial and village shaking plan of her term. Shaking her head back to reality, she spoke up.

"Thank you Naruto! You've made your point.", she exclaimed, interrupting him. He stopped kissing her bare shoulders. "Ah, alright. Thank you very much for helping me Nurse-chan.", he said giving a gentle smile.

"E-eh? So...were not married?", she asked with a confused look. Naruto grinned.

" You sound a little disappointed Nurse-chan. Do you want to be?".

She jumped at the thought, " Eh No, not so suddenly! Eh? Aaah!", she cried out as she felt the breeze on her chest when she waved her arms. She quickly put her uniform back on.

Tsunade walked right past them while talking to herself conspiratorially. They both watched as she left.

"What was that all about?", Naruto asked nobody in particular.

" I don't know...ah! You stole my first kiss!", she pointed at him with an angry pout.

Naruto just smiled, " You'll make someone a very happy husband, and I am lucky enough I got to steal your first kiss before him", he teased.

She crossed her arms, still pouting, " Baka".


	2. The Evil Plan

Tsunade tapped her chin with her pen as she looked at the paper in front of her. It was the labor of a lot of thinking and not enough sake…..or maybe too much. Details, details. The plan had been whittled down to a very select bunch of rules that would ensure more couples, and less chaos…..or controlled chaos anyways. The plans rules were also simple.

_Any shinobi that catches a kunoichi, would be legally "banded" with special rings that didn't allow the two to go 20 feet from eachother for the first 5 days. These rings also represented a legal marriage that would be recorded by the "bander" and family names would be taken by the eligible party of the couple based on gender, parentage, and clan significance._

_All shinobi forces in the village, despite what branch, rank, clan or status, were subject to the event. . Any member of a clan that was not married was subject. _

_Civilians and married shinobi were not subject to it._

Shinobi were encouraged to " convince" their partners of the marriage by any means they saw fit, but unnecessary, or excessive, use of force would be heavily looked down upon.

_Only one kunoichi per shinobi. No multiple partners. _

_Kunoichi were also encouraged to actively participate if they had a shinobi in mind. Otherwise godspeed._

The rings were being made as she sat there**. **Simple wedding bands inscribed with a restraining seal and a matching ring for the caught partner. It cost a small fortune but she had weasled it out of the council somehow earlier this morning.

She heard a knock at the door, " Enter", she stated.

Shizune popped out from behind the door. " Good morning Tsunade-sama, Naru…..huh?", she stopped and looked down at the paper her master was grinning triumphantly at. She read it, and her face went white as a sheet.

"Wh-what's this?", she stated trying to overcome her shock.

" The Hunt" Tsunade answered with a smug smile.

"The Hunt?", Shizune repeated in horror.

" Indeed. Yesterday, Naruto gave some advice about a very serious matter, and it lead to this", the Hokage answered. Her fingers interlaced in front of her as she narrowed her eyes deviously.

"Wh-what matter? What could be so bad as to do…THIS?", she asked, aghast that anything could warrant what would essentially turn Konoha into a battleground of the sexes.

"Shizune, how many babies of total shinobi parentage have you delivered in the last three years?", Tsunade asked, already knowing the answer.

Shizune was taken aback by the question, " H-how many?...Two!...two", she repeated in a more somber tone.

"Exactly. Also, in the last three years, We've lost 57 ninja. That doesn't lead to a sustainable shinobi force Shizune", the Hokage made her case.

Shizune grabbed desperately though, " But, we get a lot from the civilain sector-"

" Which has given us most of it's best already and is starting to exhaust. You've seen the academy rosters. Most of the new students come from purely civilian backgrounds. The class itinerary is getting more and more pathetic just to get a few through. Naruto's class was the shining light in the last 5 years for Kami's sake, and my graduating class had two times as many graduated teams out of it!", she argued.

" I get the logic…but…THIS? It would cause chaos through the whole thing! And this rule. Convince? You're giving them a free pass to basically rape them!", she cried out in protest.

The Hokage took it in stride, " Naruto demonstrated otherwise on the nurse that replaced you. If he can woo a former kunoichi, why not an active one? And if Naruto can do it, why can't other shinobi. Though, I know some of the shinobi around here ar less than honorable, which is why all the people on this list are going on a three day war excercise near the southern coast during the hunt", the Godaime explained, sliding a list of ninja across the table, some of them very lewd characters. The Godaime had thought this out.

"…Who will be administering it?", Shizune asked reluctantly.

" Anbu will be acting as the referees, that way as soon as one is caught, they'll be wed and recorded. I'm putting the full force on duty for the full day, so the day before and after they will all be resting", the female Sanin ordered. This alarmed Shizune.

" But our defenses would be down then! Who would be watching over the village?", Shizune cried out at the prospect of the village being defenseless. Tsunade just waved her hand at this.

"Most of the other nations would be too concerned over the war exercise going on. Also, having Anbu gone for two days during that is a very small window of opportunity that nobody would have a chance to exploit. Not to mention, everything that is worth stealing to another nation will be locked and sealed. And on the day of the hunt, all but one gate will be locked up, ", she finished with a smug grin.

Shizune looked perplexed, forgetting that she was totally against the idea in the first place, " Why wouldn't you lock them all up?", she asked.

Tsunade looked to her side, " I have my reasons", she replied cryptically before looking back at Shizune and pointing at her. "YOU, have a very important job as well during this".

Shizune's shock was amusing, " W-what? Me?".

"Indeed Shizune. You are going to be in this office, announcing over the PA, the new couples as the tallies start coming in from the sector communication posts, also reporting sightings of groups of women trying to run from capture", she stated like they were heards of game animals or something.

'This sounds so wrong on so many levels' Shzune though before thinking of something else. " Wait, so if I'm part of this, I won't be a target right?", she asked hopefully.

" You will be", the Hokage stated nonchalantly, shooting down Shizune's hopes, which she mirrored perfectly. " Honestly Shizune, you're a grown woman! It's about time a man snatches you up….and ravishes you over and over again", the Hokage added, teasing the poor girl….woman. " Besides, you'll be in this office, how many men do you think are going to try and barge into here to find a woman?", she asked rhetorically.

This made Shizune feel a little better. "So…when does this….Hunt…..start?" she asked, still not liking the idea of basically betraying her own gender.

" Two days, it's convenient you came in when you did. Why did you come in here anyways?", Tsunade asked.

" Huh?...OH! Naruto wanted to talk to you.", she said going to the door.

'Naruto? Since when does he NOT just barge into my office when he feels like it?' Tsunade thought curiously.

When Shizune opened the door, noone was there. She looked quizzically out into the hall, "Where did he go? He was here a minute ago. Wait, what if he heard about what you're going to do?", she thought fearfully, as she turned back to the Hokage.

"Knowing him…well maybe the old him…knowing what I've seen of the new him…..hopefully he's picking out his prey", she said with a devious smirk.

Shizune put her hands on her hips, "Honestly Tsunade-sama, stop acting like they're hunters going after big game or something!".

"Pfft. But it fits perfectly! Hence why I called it The Hunt", the Godaime cried out.

Shizune just shook her head, She would be hated by every kunoichi in the village in two days.

*Meanwhile, with Naruto*

He had heard everything. The plan, the details, everything. And he was ecstatic. The old him might have been aghast at the idea and called the Godaime a major pervert. The new him knew to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Of course, it also helped that he already had his….prey…in mind. But it required something special. With that in mind, he ran full speed for the gates.

*Konoha Main Gate*

Kotetsu and Izumo lazily watched as the bustle of the town went on inside the gates. This time of the day usually left them with nothing to do as most travelers came during morning hours and left at night or the next morning.

Izumo rocked in his chair contemplating life when a dust cloud appeared down the mainstreet and appeared to be making a beeline right for them.

Izumo nudged his partner in crime to wake him up. "Kotetsu, someone's coming", he warned him.

Kotetsu cracked an eye to look at the cloud that was approaching rapidly, " Ugh. It better not be Gai again", he groaned, sitting up straight.

It wasn't. What happened would confuse them for the next two days. Naruto screeched to a halt out of the cloud, produced hundreds of clones, and started waving them through the gate like a captain rallying his army.

" Go! Go! Go! You know what you're looking for and what to do when you find it! For great justice!" he barked as he waved them through.

"FOR GREAT JUSTICE!", they all shouted as the charged through.

Kotetsu and Izumo were wide eyed and dumbfounded at the scene of hundreds of Narutos charging out of the gate as if they were on a warpath. They flinched when Naruto whipped around and stared at them with a mad look before instantly appearing in front of them.

" Izumo! Kotetsu! I have a time sensitive objective, gotta be quick! DON'T PANIC! I'll be back in no more than two days, and then…" his face took on a horrified look before starting up again.

" QUICKLY! BEFORE THERE'S STILL TIME!", he thundered.

Kotetsu and Izumo were scared shitless, " H-HAI. Two days! Got it!", Izumo shouted as he rigidly waved him through.

Naruto was a flicker in the distance and instant later.

Izumo and Kotetsu looked on before breathing a sigh of relief. "What the hell was that all about?", Kotetsu cried out as he flopped back into his seat.

" If it had Naruto that freaked out, it must be not only imperative, but downright life threatening.", Izumo replied as he fell in his chair as well. Silence reigned for a few seconds after until Kotetsu spoke up.

"Should…..we write this in our report?" he asked.

Izumo looked at him questioningly, " Of course, why the hell would you ask that?"

" Well cause he didn't sign off", Kotetsu answered as he pointed at the log book.

Izumo stared at it with an blank face. "….We're not going to write this in our report", he stated, contradicting his previous statement.

"A….ah", his partner replied. Things went quiet again.

*The next day*

Tsunade sat in her chair, rubbing her hands together. Everything was coming to place. She had skillfully got her proposal Ok'ed by the council through various wording that slipped around the nitty gritty and said, "What I will do will make Konoha stronger". They had no idea what the hell it was, but some of the clan heads couldn't help but feel like they were signing their own death warrants.

As much as Tsunade was doing this for the village, she also liked to think she was also doing this for Naruto. With his recent insight on the pink haired barbarian woman…a woman she had helped make, she could see the anger and frustration in his eyes which he did little to hide. Though his new personality did little to hide anything. Instead of being the dense, kind, loyal, knucklehead he used to be, he was a manipulative, kind, loyal, clever, blunt, smartass. Who seemed to flirt or get a joke in whenever he could. With this kind of opportunity, she hoped he'd get snagged by someone who deserves him.

Her nose crinkled…speaking of the brat, what the hell was he doing? She got reports from a few Anbu that he was screaming in panic at the gate guards about an objective and two days, amongst a bunch of nonsense that seemed to get him waved through the gates. She let it go seeing as it was obvious he was gearing up for what he heard, but she still wanted to know what the hell, or who the hell he was going after.

*Somewhere in an unknown base in an unknown land*

"I've finally done it!", a pale, snake eyed man hissed as he danced around like a little schoolgirl.

His right hand man stared at him as a twitch came to his cheek. Seeing enough of his master's dance, he decided to find out what IT was. " You finally did what

Orochimaru-sama?" he asked, interrupting the man's happy dance.

Clearing his throat he splayed out his arms, " After years of research, I have created a real age regression formula! Bwahahahahahaaaa!", he trumpeted before laughing maniacally.

Kabuto stared incredulously at the Snake Sanin, " Umm…how do you know it works?", he asked, immediately being directed via finger to a play pen with a bunch of toddlers in oversize clothes in it. So that's where the evening guard went.

" It's at the perfect concentration to turn myself into an energetic twenty something year old, and I have enough for one last…" he stopped after pointing at where the formula USED to be.

" NOOO! Where is it?", he screamed looking around furiously.

Kabuto, just pointed at the open door, " A box with legs came in, took it, then ran away.", he stated simply.

" You fool! Why didn't you catch it!", the Sanin shouted.

" The same reason I don't catch the flying bathtub behind you or the caterpillar with a ducks head wrapped around your leg."

Orochimru's shoulders slumped, " You're high again aren't you?"

Kabuto snorted, " Again?".

Silence filled the room until a bitchy voice called, " Oi! Orochimaru! I wanted butterscotch, not rocky road! And this cheap knockoff soda tastes nothing like the real thing!".

"…Kabuto"

"Sup?"

"Prepare the brat". He was hoping to use the formula and then kill the Uchiha very very very slowly, but the best laid plans…..

" 'Bout damn time", Kabuto grumbled as he walked out the door to do what his master asked, but. personally. he was a few days away from taking the initiative.

*Gates of Konoha*

It had been two days since Naruto left, but thankfully, he would arrive 8 hours before the event started.

Kotetsu and Izumo braced themselves as a dust cloud appeared on the horizon outside the gates.

Moments later Naruto screeched to a stop in front of them. " I'M BACK! OBJECTIVE COMPLETE!", he yelled before popping two clones.

"You know what to do! Get to it!", he ordered, getting a mock salute from the clones before they leapt away.

"What the hell is this all about Naruto?", Izumo asked, finally confused enough to ask.

Naruto looked straight at him for a few seconds before asking, " Do you have anyone you'd like to have a family with Izumo?".

The question threw Izumo for a loop, " What? Um…that's secret.", he answered lamely with a blush.

" Keep her in mind because in a few hours, it might actually happen", Naruto replied.

Izumo and Kotestu were wide eyed as Naruto walked back into the village. Kotetsu turned to his friend, " What the hell do you think he meant by that?", he asked.

Izumo just shook his head, still staring at Naruto's retreating figure.

*With Naruto*

Naruto smiled as he walked down the street. One of his clones had found the store he was looking for, which was surprisingly run by Mitarashi Anko. Considering what the store sold, it did kinda fit her personality.

Opening the door to the store let off a jingle. He looked to see Anko behind the counter, her cheek resting on her hand before she saw him, " Oi, gaki. Never thought I'd see you walk into my store", she stated with a smirk that Naruto returned.

" I'm surprised to see you HAVE a store. As for being here, I have a few things that I need for…..someone.", he stated as he handed her a list.

Anko looked at the list and whistled. " Geez gaki, what the hell are you going to do with this? You're not going to…well….you know….pinky".

Naruto snorted, " Never in a million years. I think a cord of piano wire would be more suited for her. This is for someone…else", he answered, ending cryptically.

Anko looked at him uneasily, " Do I even want to know what's going on?", she asked.

Naruto smirked, " And ruin the surprise? No way! You'll have to wait to find out Anko-chan".

Anko snorted as she collected the items, " Anko-chan? Someone's trying to buck for a discount!".

Naruto put on a mock aghast face, " Me? I would never! Can't a man compliment a cute woman without an ulterior motive".

Anko burst out laughing as she walked back up to the counter, " Cute? Who the hell are you looking at gaki?"

Naruto's brows furrowed," There's plenty of cute things about you", he argued.

She decided to humor him, " Oh really? Name a few then", she dared him.

" Well, there's the way your hair sticks up like a peacock tail, the way your nose twitches when you smell something good, the face you put on when you're eating a stick of dango, the way you pout when your miffed, and especially the way you blush A-n-ko-chan", he said pointing at her as she kept from meeting his eyes with heated cheeks.

" Hmpf. And here I thought you were staring at my chest all this time", she retorted.

Naruto just waved his hand in front of himself, " What's the fun of looking at a nude t-shirt under fishnet?", he replied, causing her eyes to widen and look right at him.

She pointed a finger at him, " Ah! How the hell did you know that? And you admit to looking at my chest!".

" Of course I admit to looking at your chest. I'm as sexually healthy as the next guy, kinda like how you kept getting glances in of my butt while you were getting everything I asked for", he countered with a smirk.

She sheepishly stuck out her tongue as she scratched her chin.

"Careful Anko-chan, or I might snatch you up tomorrow instea…..d", he ended biting his tongue for letting that slip.

Anko immediately caught on, " Oh? And what, pray tell, is happening tomorrow?", she asked with a sickeningly sweet smile on her face.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, " Talk discount".

" Twenty"

"Fourty"

"Pfft, Twenty five"

"Thirty five"

"Grrr, Thirty!"

"Thirty and you can't tell a living soul about this", he said with a look that promised eternal pain.

Anko bit her lip, " Alright, deal", she conceded, shaking his hand.

*3 minutes later*

Anko was wideeyed and her mouth agape. "…She really going to…"

"Yup. I heard it from her myself….well, through the door anyway ", Naruto cut in, answering the question before looking back at her, " So, what are you going to do?".

Anko recomposed herself and started tallying everything up, " Hide and evade", she answered bluntly.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at that, " Oh? I would figure you'd chase after someone".

She crossed her arms in front of her, " Well, you thought wrong. In fact, don't come here tomorrow without a wedding ring on your finger or a snake will escort you out", she threatened.

" Hai hai. Still it's sad. I wonder who's gonna bag Iruka-sensei?", he asked as he walked out the door, something hitting it with a dull thud after it closed.


	3. Second Chance

( 45 minutes to zero hour)

Tsunade looked around the office. Her entire Anbu force of 130 were there standing in front of her, on the ceiling, on the walls, on the couch, in the windows, in her chair..." Get outta my chair lazy ass!", she yelled as she shooed the anbu out of her chair and took her place behind her desk, " What I'm about to tell you is going to happen in less than an hour, and that your part in this is a standing order..."

(5 Minutes later)

Anbu were known for keeping their cool and not showing any emotions on the clock. What they were just explained took all their discipline and threw it in the shitter. Tsunade looked at the aghast faces of some of the female Anbu...who had not realized their masks had fallen off due to the shock.

" Any questions?", she asked.

A purple haired one, who was actually the Anbu Commander, finally piped up, " This has to be some horrible joke right?", she asked with a disgusted voice.

Tsunade closed her eyes, " Cat-san...you're the strongest Anbu in my forces obviously".

" Obviously"

" Yet you have no children, no husband, no boyfriend", Tsunade continued, looking at Cat-san.

" ...T-that's personal". Cat defended.

" ...No it isn't. Because it's the same problem happening all over the village.", Tsunade sighed.

" It's not like I'm celebate or anything! I'm just-",

" Waiting. Worrying about your career. Looking for your true love. Looking for someone that's not "perverted", Or just simply waiting", Tsunade cut her off. " Yet in this business, nothing waits long. Hayate and Asuma proved that", the Hokage stated without regard to the feelings of Cat.

"...That was a low blow", Cat gritted out, her shoulders shaking.

" But necessary. If this plan works, we should see a considerable jump in our Academy graduates in little over a decade. If we don't, we condemn ourselves to the trickle we have coming out. How many teams graduated last time?", she asked, fully knowing the answer.

"...One", Cat mumbled, her feelings were torn, which Tsunade could see in alot of the Anbu.

" I'm not telling you to condemn them to death. Think of it as just arranging ALOT of marriages...", then she thought of something than might change their minds.

" In fact. For every couple that are confirmed banded by an Anbu, he or she will get 750 ryou added to their, already, B rank mission pay". That got alot of attention, prompting some of the male Anbu's masks to fall off. The prospect for making a hefty sum in a day with little work could always change someone's mind.

Tsunade then turned her attention to the Anbu Captains and commanders, " And you will be given S rank pay for cooperation and relaying real time information back here. You will also feel no repercussions from this since you were under my orders". She finished. Cat had finally seemed to have relented. Tenzou though, who was back in Anbu for the time being, raised his hand.

" What if the participants start using lethal force?", he asked.

" If they do, arrest them like you would usually do. I have a plan for the female inmates as well anyways", she said with a devious grin.

Tenzou felt a shiver go up his spine, " Um...hai".

" Other than that, non lethal force is allowed. After all, who better to have a child with a stong kunoichi than the stronger shinobi that defeated her.", she stated enlightingly. Survival of the fittest.

" If there are no other questions, you have half an hour to get to your stations and await the signal. Be sure to grab your allotment of bands on the way out, and be damned sure to be quick and quiet about getting them on their respective couples. Dismissed!". She excused them. Unfortunately there were 130 of them and they had all forgot that fact as they tried to disperse quickly and just turned into a massive heap of flailing bodies on the floor.

" WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?¡"

" I wasn't! All the blood rushed to my head from hanging on the ceiling!"

" Get your face out of my crotch!"

" Where the hell did my mask go?"

" Is this my leg or...OH"

Tsunade just sat down and pinched her nose as one by one, the Anbu untangled themselves from the heap and left.

(10 miles out from Konoha)

He had been feeling it for two days now. Something was going to happen in Konoha, and it was going to be epic. Strangely enough, it was the same senses he used to find material for his books. All he knew was, he had to get there and fast.

With the vigor of a new lease on life, he sped up even faster.

( 15 minutes to zero hour)

Kotetsu and Izumo waited in earnest as the sun started to rise and the bustle of ninja and civilians alike started to play in the streets. 5 minutes ago their radio sqwaked. All village gates were to standby for further orders from Brass Hat, which was the Hokage's callsign. The radio came back to life.

" This is Brass Hat to all gates. Close up The Garden except for the Tulips. Carry out and confirm."

Kotetsu and Izumo went wideeyed. She wanted to close off all the gates except for the west entrance? They just opened the damn things! Regardless of their own opinions they knew it had to be done.

Izumo made a low whistle and two Anbu appeared to help seal them up. Kotetsu could see the civilians looking at what they were doing with confusion.

A minute later, the gates were closed and seal locked. Izumo then made his way back to the radio.

* At the Hokage Tower*

A radio console meant for wartime or invasion, that usually was hidden behind the devious wall, was now brimming with reports from different gates and Anbu teams.

" Pansies to Brass Hat, the gate is shut"

" Roses to Brass Hat, the gate is shut"

" Tigerlillies to Brass Hat, the gate is shut"

" Black Cat to Brass Hat, all teams in position"

" Sunflowers to Brass Hat, the gate is shut"

" Tulips to Brass Hat, the gate is open and awaiting orders"

Tsunade picked up the mic.

" This is Brass Hat to Tulips. Defensive Position: Orange. They can check in but they can't check out. These orders stand for the next 24 hours", she ordered.

" Roger that Brass Hat. Defensive Position: Orange in effect for the next 24 hours. Tulips Out."

Tsunade looked up at the clock. 30 seconds remaining. She looked at Shizune, who looked about ready to puke from anxiety. Tsunade smirked.

" Shizune, just think of all the babies you'll get to deliver in the coming years.", she enticed the woman. It didn't compensate totally but at least she didn't look like she was going to blow chunks anymore. Tsunade looked back at the clock. 3, 2, 1, Showtime. She picked up the mic and flipped the switch for the villagewide PA system.

( Konoha streets)

By now, confusion was evident through the whole village. All the gates were locked. More confusing yet, more so for the ninja, was the amount of Anbu around the village. It was like the entire force was out today. Many thought it was part of the war game that had been started a day ago, but even that didn't make much sense due to the roster for the wargame. Only a few notable characters were participating in that war game and none of them were very...polished.

Suddenly, in a burst of static, the PA system came to life.

" This is the Godaime Hokage speaking to all shinobi forces. For the next 24 hours the village will be sealed for an event that has been created by me, and approved by the council. First, I will tell you the rules of this event.

Event? Rules?

" All Shinobi forces in the village, despite what branch, rank, clan or status, are subject to this event. Any member of a clan that is not married is subject as well."

What the hell, non married shinobi or clan members? Brains started churning.

"Civilians and Married shinobi are not subject to it"

" Only one kunoichi per shinobi. No multiple partners"

Partners? What the hell was this, a giant dance-off?

"Kunoichi are also encouraged to participate if they have a shinobi in mind. Otherwise, godspeed to you."

" Lethal force is not to be used. Non lethal force is acceptable".

Sounds about right for a shinobi dance-off.

" Any shinobi that catches a kunoichi will be legally banded with special wedding bands that won't allow you to go 20 feet from eachother for the first 5 days or after a reasonable amount of copulation, which ever comes first. These rings also represent a legal, and unbreakable marriage that will be recorded by Anbu. Family names will be taken by the eligible party of the couple based on gender, parentage, and clan significance."

Blue faces. This was no dance-off.

"Shinobi or kunoichi are encouraged to " convince" their partners of the marriage, during the honeymoon, anyway he or she sees fit. Unnecessary, or excessive use of force will be heavily looked down upon. Otherwise...WELCOME TO THE HUNT! HAJIME!"

There were a few seconds of raw silence laced with dread and fear, until one shinobi turned his head to the stunned kunoichi next to him...and grabbed the arm of her jacket. Wedding bands phased onto their fingers faster than they could think.

THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

Surprisingly, it was the couple that Tsunade snapped at a couple days ago that started the chain reaction.

* Blocks away from the Tower*

Naruto flew across the rooftops towards his objective, passing the Anbu teams watching, like vultures, the chaos happening below, phasing out every now and then to bind another couple together before appearing back on the rooftops. Yelling and screaming came from the streets below.

Ignoring them, he pressed on, his target was in sight. Hopefully, he's be able to take her by surprise. He was willing to find out.

* Inside the Tower*

Shizune started rattling off new couples over the PA system. 28 so far, and it was picking up speed. The kunoichi were still disorganized, so sighting reports would come later.

" It's working Shizune. IT'S WORKING!", Tsunade exclaimed as she rubbed her hands together while looking down at the chaos that was ensuing.

Shizune just wept anime style tears. Her master had finally gone insane.

Before she could concentrate again, the doors blew open and an orange blur flew in. It threw a vial at Tsunade, who had just turned from the window with a look of shock. The next instant, the glass broke and Tsunade was enveloped in a cloud of smoke.

" Tsunade-sama!", Shizune shouted as she and the lone Anbu guard went to save her, but a par of arms blocked their paths, belonging to none other than Naruto.

" Stay away from the cloud, she's fine, but you won't be!", he quickly blurted out. They could hear coughing and cursing in the cloud, so they knew she was alive.

" What the hell is this?¡ Gaki, you better have a damn good explanation!", Tsunade hissed as the cloud cleared to reveal...that she was absolutely fine. Yet, her voice sounded crispier, more lively, more...smooth?

" Indeed I do Tsunade-chan, but first...take your henge off", he stated, causing shock all around the room.

" Like hell I would ever let you see-"

" Tsunade. Trust me", he stated seriously, a look in his eye that she had not seen on many men at many times. Finally, she relented.

" Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you", she stated in a low voice before looking into her mirror pensively. Finally with a sigh, she put her hands into the ram sign.

" Kai", she stated. A shimmer...and it looked like nothing happened. Confusion played across Tsunade's face as she tried over and over again to dispel the young looking facade.

" W-what the hell?", she stated, trying not to put too much hope into what she was seeing lest it be a horrible joke.

" Let's just say you have 30 more years before you have to worry about seeing whatever you were hiding, again.", he stated to which her eyes went wide.

" I'm young again? H-how?", she stated as she started trembling.

" How is not important. What is, is that you ARE, and that you have a while before it goes away", he stated as he walked over to her.

She was truly shocked. She had a second chance. A chance to change things.

" I-I don't know what to say Naruto...but..*grab* What the hell are you doing?", she finished as Naruto wrapped his arms quickly around her waist.

" Gotcha Tsunade-chan!", he stated over her shoulder with a smirk.

" Eh?"

Bands phased onto their ring fingers moments later

" EH?"

Shizune started announcing it through the PA with a smirk, " Announcement. Senju Tsunade has been caught by Uzumaki Naruto. Due to the gravity of both clan names, they are now Senju Uzumaki Naruto and Senju Uzumaki Tsunade".

"EEEH?¡" she cried out in shock. Shizune just gave her the peace sign.

" B-but I'm the Hokage! I'm not eligible!", she argued.

" Last time I looked, the Hokage was part of the shinobi forces, and you did say, ALL of the shinobi forces.", Naruto countered.

" But...but I can't be your wife! I've always thought of you as a younger brother, or a son!", she kept arguing as she struggled.

" And I'm grateful, but now you don't have to. Especially after we HAVE a son", he replied with a sly smirk.

Her desperation grew after that as her chest grew tight, " B-but I'm still the Hokage so I order you to stop", she barely managed to squeak out.

He chuckled and talked right next to her ear, " Ah, but Tsuna-chan, as your prior orders stated, I'm supposed to convince you any-way-I-see-fit", he breathed into her ear causing shivers down her side, " So I guess I'm going to have to do alot of convincing."

With little argument left, she tried the old fashioned way. Force. But try as she might, it was like the gaki was ten times stronger than her.

She struggled as he started walking out the door with her over his shoulder. " Dammit, why can't I get free?¡", she cried out at she pounded on his back, which should have, at least, stunned him.

" It helps when your strength is chakra based, and that I know seals", he replied as they continued on.

45 minutes later*

This was something Tsunade could have never even contemplated in one of her drunken stupors. Yet here she was, chained spreadeagle to Naruto's bed with pink shackles. She tugged futilly on them. With her chakra sealed off, almost all of her strength was gone...that was kinda pathetic...no...that was really pathetic now that she really thought about it.

" Another thing you can rectify with your second chance", she heard in response to her thoughts. She whipped her head to the door to see Naruto without the jacket on, just his pants and a black t-shirt.

" Stop reading my thoughts, jerk!", she snapped causing him to raise an eyebrow.

" It was hard not to with the faces you were making while struggling Tsunade-chan", he sighed before perking up," But! If you want to go to the main event so quickly, who am I to deny you", he claimed as he sat down right beside her and went in for a kiss.

" W-wai-Mmmph!" her protest was cut off as her lips were coupled with his. Disbelief played across her face as he continued and shuddered moments later when his tongue started teasing hers.

When he finally broke off, her breaths were erratic. If Naruto had looked at her face fully, he would have seen the shock written on her face, but as it was, he went for her neck and started kissing and nibbling his way down to her collarbone.

Butterflies were doing arial maneuvers in her stomach, and her chest felt like it was being constricted. She tried to form an argument, words, anything, yet it was like her body was against her.

" Well, let's see what my new wife looks like under these clothes", Naruto stated causing Tsunade to find her voice again.

"N-no! You can't!", she cried out.

" Sure I can. I just start by untying your sash..", he proclaimed as he did just that, untying the thin piece of fabric and pulling it out from under her.

" W-w-wait, I don't feel well", she stuttered out as she writhed against her bonds.

Naruto looked up at her, " Then we should take your top off so you can cool down", he answered as he took hold of the flaps of fabric and pulled them apart, resulting in a squeak from Tsunade.

Her stomach and large breasts now visible, Naruto took a moment to take it in. Her breasts were absolutely beautiful. Very firm G cups that seemed to defy gravity. Being the best medic in the world had advantages in staving off sagging, it probably didn't hurt that she lost 30 years of nature taking it's course.

" Please, s-stop looking at me *GASP*". She had attempted to beg for the cessation of the humiliation she was in but was quickly cut off as Naruto started kissing around her navel, sending spasms and sparks through her stomach. Tsunade hadn't been touched like this in years...decades, and now it was a boy who she had admired, who had almost been like a son to her, administering such sensations. A boy who was obviously more a man than she'd like to think, and one who she was legally married to. As much as she'd like to keep contemplating, the sensations grew too distracting, especially as he kissed between the valley of her breasts. He then raised his head, turned to her right breast, and latched onto her nipple with a suction.

" Mmmm", he voiced, his mouth full of Tsunade's breast, as he started playing with her nipple with his tounge. She tried desperately to resist moaning but, whether it be from lack of attention over the years or the recession in age, it was too overwhelming.

" Ugh-haaaaah", she grunted as Naruto continued his ministrations, and even started kneading her other breast.

"Now you're starting to feel it", Naruto teased with approval after pulling off her breast with an audible pop, yet still kneading her other breast.

" I'm*guh*, I'm not feeling any*hhhhuh*thing you pervert*aaah*", she managed to groan out.

" Oh really...", he humored her, before taking his other hand and sliding it down into her pants. Her breath hitched in her throat as her whole body shuddered, feeling the foreign hand rubbing up and down her slit.

Naruto then pulled his hand up, " Then what's this naughty girl?", he asked as he showed her his hand covered in juices, splitting his fingers apart for emphasis as is threaded out.

Tsunade was horrified by the fact she was getting turned on, her mouth quivering but never forming words. Finally, Naruto decided to speak.

" I think it's about time we see the rest. But it wouldn't be fair for me to see you and you not to see me", he said as he pulled off his shirt, leaving him barechested in front of her. He WAS more of a man than she'd like to think. While not built like a bodybuilder, his physique was perfect for his line of work, toned and tanned skin rippled with underlying muscles. She gawked as he pulled down his pants as well and threw them off the bed. Being his doctor, she had seen him stripped down to his boxers many times before, hell she had seen his internal organs almost as many times, but in this situation, she couldn't help but gawk. Realizing what she was doing, she quickly looked away.

" Why not look Tsunade-chan? It does belong to you, just like you belong to me.", he stated with a smile as he produced a kunai.

" We don't belong to eachother and we can't be doing this!", she protested with as much strength as she could muster.

" Oh really. Physically, you're only 9 years older than me, I obviously have a physical attraction to you, and from what I just saw, vice versa, we've known eachother for years to the point of comfort, and I know, from experience, you would make a great mother", he stated as he used the kunai to cut away her pants.

"W-we just can't!", she replied lamely.

Naruto looked up and smirked, " And, yet, we are", he retorted as he made a familiar handsign, a clone popping into exsistence a moment later.

Tsunade's mind raced on what it was for, but the answer came when it picked up a harness gag a moved towards her head. She tried to resist but a pinch of her inner thigh made her let out a gasp, giving the clone enough time to shove the bit into her mouth and harness it around and over her head, even with her feeble thrashing.

"mmguuumm", she protested, but stopped when she realized what embarrassing sounds she was making through the gag. Her concentration was cut short anyways as Naruto slipped off his boxers, showing to Tsunade his well endowed member. She was so fixated on it that she didn't feel him cutting off her panties until she felt the breeze on her entrance, which elicited a sharp intake of breath, knowing that they were both now completely naked.

She could only see so much between the valley of her firm breasts, but she could definitely see Naruto looking down at her crotch with a surprised look.

" You're full of surprises Tsuna-chan. I would have never thought you shaved", he stated in a delighted voice as he watched her try to hide her face, a tears welling up in the corners of her eyes from the embarrassment. Naruto just thought it was cute before doing something Tsunade had never expected.

" Guulgggh!", she cried out in surprise and pleasure as Naruto's tongue lapped at the entrance of her womanhood. Never did she have a lover eat or even lick her out. Not even Dan would do it. The feeling was overwhelming. Tsunade squirmed, trying to get away from the tongue that was quickly invading her pussy, but Naruto wrapped his arms around her hips, keeping her right in place and she moaned and writhed.

Soon enough, she felt a tightness that she hadn't felt in years. Her moaning became grunts and her hips started to lift off the bed, but Naruto stayed taught, still probing her pussy and rubbing at her nub. In no time at all, she finally went over the edge.

"Guuuuugghh!", she cried out as her muscles spasmed with the orgasm, causing her to shudder uncontrollably. After a half dozen seconds, she finally went limp in Naruto's grasp.

She panted and stared aimlessly at the ceiling as the afterglow faded, mindlessly noticing the mirror image staring back at her.

"Wow Honey, that was a pretty intense orgasm. I bet you can't wait to find out what the main even is going to feel like", he teased as he got inbetween her legs.

Her eyes refocused in shock as her head shot up to see Naruto lining his member up with her entrance. Before she could even make an attempt to struggle, his tip was already in her and he was starting to push more and more of himself into her.

"Gggaaah!", she cried out as the stiff appendage stretched out a piece of herself that hadn't been used in a long while. After a few uncomfortable moments, she finally adjusted to the invader, allowing her to stop squinting and realize that Naruto was above her looking down into her eyes.

Without warning, he leaned in and planted a kiss right on her forehead before resting his upon hers.

" There's no going back now Tsuna-chan", and with that, he started to pump into her, relishing in the tightness.

Tsunade's head fell back into the pillow as a dozen different sensations ran through her body. She opened her eyes after a while only to see, from the mirror on the ceiling, Naruto pumping in and out of her shaved pussy. She could see him sucking on her breast, she could see his toned ass thrusting in synch with the sparks of pleasure she was feeling. She could see...EVERYTHING. Embarassement came once again but this time it seemed to only increase the ache she was feeling throughout her body.

Her rusty experience, and Naruto's inexperience cut the activity short as both of them felt the coils tightening, and fast. Tsunade's grunts got louder and more desperate just as Naruto's did.

" I'm almost there Tsuna-chan", he grunted out as he started thrusting harder into her. She was to swept up in the moment to respond, or even remember that neither of them were wearing protection. With one final thrust, both of them went over the edge as Tsunade cried out from the overwhelming orgasm and the feeling of hot seed spilling into her abdomen.

Naruto fell on top of her as their orgasms died, each panting in contentment. After a while, Naruto propped himself back up.

" That was great Tsuna-chan. I can't wait to find out what it feels like after round five", he stated with blunt honesty, causing her eyes to shoot open and start pleading through the gag, but to little avail.

" Oh no honey, I said I was going to do alot of convincing. And you know I never go back on my word", he said with a devious smile.

"Mggguuuuuph!", Tsunade cried out futilly, already feeling his member starting to harden again. She could only think of one explanation.

' It has to be the damn Kyuubi'

( 9 hours later)

Tsunade's head was swimming, barely on the edge of consciousness. She limply turned her head to see Naruto, who had finally dropped from the amount of times they had done it. The amount of times, the amount of positions, the amount of toys. She could feel the half dead vibrators still hanging off her nipple rings. Where she got them, she couldn't remember. By the end of it, Tsunade was sure he was tapping into the kyuubi's chakra to keep going, which seemed to just make things even more intense. How she wasn't unconsious as well was a miracle.

She managed to pull herself into a sitting position, her breasts bouncing before resting atop the bustless leather corset. She clumsily slid her feet, clad in latex, thigh-high, chunky heel stipper boots, down onto the floor, and pushed herself up, with no help from her leather monoglove encased arms behind her back. With as much grace as a drunk, she started hobbling towards the door, cum dribbling from her like an tipped over shampoo bottle. Her thoughts were void of logic and reason.

'Maybe if I can clean it out in time, I won't get pregnant'

'Maybe he'll forget about all this if I'm not here'

"Maybe-"

Her ambled thoughts were cut off as the collar around her neck went tight and she was pulled harshly back onto the bed by the leash attached to it. Any attemp to right herself were dashed as a hand grabbed her by the back of the head and pinned her to the bed. She tried shouting through the gag still in her mouth, and it only grew louder as she felt Naruto's dick slide against her cunt, smearing his semen all over it, before pushing into a part that hadn't been ventured yet. Her ass.

" MGGRUUGH! GLUUGGRUULF! GAAAAGGHH!", she screamed out as he shoved his cock into her virgin ass in one thrust. Her body exploded in pain, causing her to clench her eyes and bite into the bit, but Naruto didn't give her time to adjust before he pulled on her pigtails, yanking her head back, and strated thrusting hard into her.

Every thrust produced a cry from Tsunade and a grunt from Naruto, who was totally swept up in red chakra, which was leaking into Tsunade as well. Her cries quickly became half and half between pain and pleasure as Naruto pulled her into a standing position and thrust even harder into her, almost causing her boots to leave the ground. Tsunade started feeling a coil tighten, a big coil...a REALLY BIG COIL. Her cries became sobs of pain, confusion, pleasure, and...need, as Naruto sped up.

With a battlecry worthy of a bijuu, Naruto shot wave after wave of cum into his new wife's ravaged ass, causing her humongous coil to snap. Tsunades eyes went pinpoint as she screamed bloody murder from the orgasm the went through her entire body, resembling more of a seizure than anything. With it, Tsunade finally was granted the loss of consciousness that had eluded her the last 9 hours of unearthly pleasure.

The next thing she awoke to, was a warmness that enveloped her from the chest down. Her eyes fluttered before grogily opening to take in her surroundings. She could see steam wafting in front of her from what looked like a pool. She finally deduced she was in the hot springs.

' Did I dream the whole thing?' she thought as she started to try and get up. It was only then that she felt the pressure of arms wrapped around her naked body. She turned her head to see Naruto behind her, holding her so she wouldn't drown. His eyes were closed and his head resting against her back. It seemed like he was asleep but Tsunade knew he wasn't.

" Finally awake honey?", he asked, not moving from his comfortable position. The words sent a buzz of electricity down her back before she answered.

" Y-yeah. How long?"

"Not very long. About three hours. I'm sure if we go back to the Hokage Tower, we can see how the hunt is going so far", he offered.

Tsunade stayed quiet for a minute before sighing to herself, " You know, finding out who has been caught or not is less thrilling when you've been caught as well", she stated with a small amount of accusation.

" True", Naruto stated simply as he rested his chin on her shoulder, small amounts of his breath tickling her ear and neck. " So I take it I've thoroughly convinced you?".

Silence reigned until Tsunade spoke up, " You could have gone after anyone else in the village. Why me?", she asked with confusion evident in her voice.

Naruto firmed his grip around her, " You remember when we were taking you back to the village and you kissed my forehead?", he asked, and felt a nod, " That was the first intimate contact I've ever had. Despite the age difference, I kinda grew a crush on you after that.",

'Naruto had a crush on me?' Tsunade though with surprise before he continued.

" Every headlock, hug, healing, and argument just made the crush bigger. But I kept it to myself. Then when you started seeing me as a son instead of a brother, I was happy for a while, until I started seeing the sadness and regret in your eyes. At first I thought it was against me, but after a while I figured out what it truly was. The fact that as much as you'd like to think of me as a son...I wasn't really your son. You regretted not becoming a real mother".

Guilt played across Tsunade's. He hit the nail right on the head. " Naruto, I'm-".

"Then, something struck me. I think it had pink hair", he cut her off with a joke before continuing.

" And then you came up with this whacky plan of marrying off the Konoha forces through a mass pillaging, and with my newfound look on life, I saw the perfect opportunity to help you rectify you're biggest regret. Now you can be a mother...and...", he paused and his hands rubbed her stomach.

"-now, you ARE", he emphasized.

The past 12 hours came back to her in full, remembering that he had unprotected sex with him for 9 of them. With a shaky hand, she activated her diagnostic jutsu and hesitantly brought it to her belly.

Being the continent's best medic, Tsunade could track a pregnancy to the very moment it happened, and, she was doing it now, because there was an egg.

' 7 hours since fertilization and starting to cleavage', her expert mind kicked in, the rest of her reacted differently.

Naruto could feel Tsunade's shake worsen. The thought that it was anger only glanced across his mind before he admonished himself for knowing better. Then a sniffle came, followed by drops of water hitting the pool.

" I'm going to be a mother", she croaked out as the tears came full force with the flood of emotions that led it. Naruto turned her to the side in his lap and put her head on his shoulder while she cried.

" Sssh, you're going to make a great mother, honey", he reassured her as he rubbed her shoulder and placed his chin atop her head. She should be livid with what he had done, to the point of destroying him, but she wasn't. In fact, from all the pleasure and the final result, this was the best day of her life. Two of her biggest regrets were gone. She was having a baby, and...she was married to someone she could learn to love in a different way.

As her crying turned into sniffles, she lifted her head off of Naruto's shoulder to look at him with a determined look, " You better take care of me husband", she stated with a tone that left no room for argument. He gave a genuine smile back, " You, our child, and later, children. That's a promise of a lifetime wife", he stated with conviction.

She returned the smile in kind, before she pulled Naruto down and locked her lips with his. It lasted only a few chaste seconds, but, being their impromptu wedding kiss, if felt like it lasted a lifetime. When they finally broke apart, Tsunade put her head against Naruto's chest, basking in a sense of completeness to her life. It was in this position that she remembered something else.

" Honey?"

" Yes Tsuna-chan?".

" Why are there rings through my nipples?", she asked with deadpan.

" Ah. Yes. Um, you're nipples were, um, inverted, as you probably know. And it was futile trying to get the vibrating clamps onto them. So I kinda pierced them to keep them out. And since they kinda add to your charm, I just kept them in.", he answered as he scratced the back of his head.

"Oh really", Tsunade chimed with here eyes shaded. Before Naruto knew it, he was in a head lock getting a super noogie. " And I think having a bald spot on your head would add to your charm!", she yelled as he flailed around trying to get free. Finally he just picked her up and dove under the water, eliciting a shriek from her.

She surfaced a half a second after him, " You jerk!", she cried out as she started splashing him, which he returned, which promptly turned into a water fight.

" Take this!", she declared as she put all her strength into the splash...which promptly turned into a miniature tsunami and then hit Naruto dead force. She blinked owlishly in surprise. Apparently he took the seal off sometime.

She looked around but couldn't find him. Just when she started fearing she killed her husband already, Naruto shot up right between her legs and grabbed them, taking her for a trip on his shoulders.

" Don't scare me like that!", she yelled out as he looked up at her with a grin.

" Trust me Tsunade, it would probably take a crate of explosive notes strapped to my head to kill me off so don't expect widow's pay for a half a century at least", he joked.

" Stuck with you for 50 years. Goody", she nipped back in sarcasm. " Now let me down, it's cold up here".

" I hear cold does great things to the female body",

" Gee then maybe you should be up here too".

Naruto shook his head in disappointment, " Unfortunately it doesn't work too well for men. In the end you get something that looks like a shrinkydink".

Tsunade burst out laughing before retorting, " Then maybe it will actually be a normal size for once".

Naruto mock harrumphed, " You love it and you know it".

She stretched his cheeks, " That because I don't have any other choice after you got done!".

They're playful bickering kept on until they were quietly sitting side by side in the waters, contemplating what would be their new lives.

" Naruto", Tsunade spoke up.

" Hmm?"

" Thank you", she stated honestly.

Naruto smiled, yet scratched the back of his head as well, " Umm, you're welcome...but you probably won't be thanking me in the next 9 months".

She looked at him surprised, " Oh? Why not? Even though I've never personally experienced it, I doubt pregnancy is that bad".

Naruto chuckled nervously, " Don't know, but I do know you're going to hate some of the sacrifices you have to make".

" Like?".

" No drinking during the pregnancy".

Tsunade went pale

" And even afterwards, you're going to cut down because you have to set an example for our child", Naruto chided.

Tsunade wept anime style tears. " You made me young just to torment me didn't you?", she whined.

Any answer was cut short as another couple came into the springs.

" See, I told you this place was practically deserte- TSUNADE! NARUTO!", a familiar voice bellowed.

" Ero-senin?¡"

" SHIZUNE?¡", Tsunade cried out in shock.

" U-um. H-Hi guys", Shizune stuttered out.

Indeed, a almost naked Jiraiya was carrying an almost naked Shizune bridal style, brand new wedding bands adorning their respective fingers.

" Jiraiya! What the hell are you doing going after my student?¡", Tsunade chastised.

Jiraiya harumphed, " I could ask the same thing to you Tsunade".

" Oi! He went after me, not the other way around", she deffended as she pointed at a grinning Naruto.

" Then I taught him very well then haven't I? Just as you've trained Shizune equally as well. So we can both congratulate ourselves on teaching eachothers' future husband and wife.", he stated triumphantly as he and Shizune slipped into the water.

" Training our future spouses...that sounds so wrong", Tsunade grumbled.

" So...how did it happen?", Naruto finally asked.

Jiraiya opened his mouth to tell the tale, probably trumped up on chivalry and romanticism, but Shizune curtly cut him off before he could start.

" He burst into the office looking for Tsunade. When I told him she had already been caught, he started charging out to kill the man. I grabbed him to tell him it was Naruto, and before I could let go again, we were banded".

Silence reigned until a snort came out of Tsunade, then both her and her new husband started laughing their asses off.

" Way to take the initiative Shizune!", Tsunade proclaimed as her laughter died down.

" But...", Tsunade became serious. " Now that you're married Jiraiya, and to my apprentice no less, you sure as hell aren't going to continue gallivanting across the continent for your spy network anymore".

Jiraiya sighed, " Yes, I know Tsunade. I've been looking into training a replacement since Ame. I'm getting too old to be keeping up with the new generations.", he admitted.

Both Tsunade and Naruto shivered at that.

*Flashback*

Jiraya hand finally accumulated enough natural chakra to summon Ma and Pa. He slammed his hand on top of Gamaken's head to perform the summoning, but there were two things that Jiraiya had forgotten.

One. Summons were selected not by age, size, or experience, only by chakra level. So if you tried summoning the most powerful toad, you would get the one with the biggest amount of chakra.

Two. He had sent Naruto to the toads early for sage training, and he sure as hell had more chakra than any of the toads did.

POOF.

" What the hell 'ttebayo! I was just...finally...Ero-senin?", Naruto stared at Jiraya, who stared back at Naruto with horror.

" Naruto! What the hell are you doing here?¡", Jiraiya cried out.

Naruto flailed his arms around in frustration, " How should I know?¡".

Any more argument was dashed as Pein attacked again. " So, you brought the Kyuubi host to us, how kind. Konan, capture him while I take care of Jiraiya".

*Flashback end*

That decision led to their escape, as Naruto had managed to take Konan by surprise and, as much as he didn't like it, take her hostage against the Rinnegan user, who was apprehensive to attack while she was in danger. Jiraiya told him why after they escaped.

" Good, take care of her then. Anyways, we've had our honeymoon, so let us leave you to have yours. After all, I still have a village to run", she said getting up and pulling Naruto with her.

Jiryaiya and Shizune just stared dumbfounded as they left.

" Were those-"

" Yes"

" In her-"

"Yes"

" Gaki works quick don't he?"

" Yes he does", Shizune admitted, looking back on the day.

*Timeskip*

Tsunade's eyes bore a hole through the perpetrators in front of her. They had done many things wrong, but this, THIS takes the cake.

" Okay. One, WHY are you not in school...AGAIN, and two, WHAT IN KAMI'S NAME POSSESSED YOU TO DYE THE INUZUKA DOGS PINK?¡", she yelled out.

" Aww c'mon Mom. School is boring, especially since Dad taught us most of the stuff already! Besides, they look better pink!", Kushina piped up with arms flailing, her red hair fluttering around and hazel eyes looking at Tsunade rebelliously.

" Also, one of them peed on me when I was in a tree!", piped up Hiruzen, Kushina's twin brother. Both were 10. Had Tsunade checked herself thouroughly, she would have seen another egg. Instead of red hair, he had dirty blonde, making him look like a male Tsunade.

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose, Why the hell she let Tenzou teach them how to use Mokuton, she would never know. Every bloodline has a trigger. The Mokuton's trigger was demonic chakra. Chakra that Naruto had unintentionally pumped into her while he was pumping other stuff into her. She herself developed the bloodline as well, but not as strong as her children.

" And how the hell did you talk your sister into helping you?", Tsunade looked down at the 8 year old Naruko, who looked just like the fabled Orioke no jutsu figure of her namesake. The fox had taken a special interest in her because she even had her father's whisker marks, and her grandmother's appetite.

" They promised me all the ramen I could eat!", she yelled with a pout.

" You little tattletale!", Kushina pointed accusingly at Naruko, who blew a rasberry in response.

" Quiet!", Tsunade bellowed as she rubbed her temples. Her husband was so taking this job soon.

" What did they do this time?", Naruto's voice cut in as he let himself in through the window. Gone was the physique of a teenager, and in it's place was the visage of a 27 year old elite Jounin.

" They dyed the Inuzuka's dogs pink! I had to listen to Tsume shriek like a madwoman for an hour because of it!", Tsunade exasperated.

Naruto broke down laughing, " I shoulda, I shoulda known that was you guys!", he managed to get out as he kept laughing. Tsunade crossed her arms and glared at her husband as he continued to laugh.

Finally, his laughter died down and he looked at the three, " You guys sure play some good pranks, you're almost as good as I was when I was your age".

The three looked hopeful that he was their ticket to freedom from punishment.

" But you know what I also did when I was your age?".

"What's that?", the three asked.

" Took responsibility for them afterwards", he said sternly.

Three sets of shoulders slumped, before a very irate Iruka showed up to drag them all back to school.

" At least they didn't get Jiraiya's kids involved this time", Naruto reasoned.

" True. We're really going to have another one of those hellspawns?", Tsunade teased as she looked down at her inflated belly. 5 months in.

Naruto nuzzled her neck, " Yes we are? Do you regret it?".

Tsunade snorted, " Not in the least. Just wish they didn't have to grow up so fast so we need another one to coddle".

Naruto smiled, " I also helps that we have three clans that we need to restore. But. When you're ready to stop, I'll support it whole heartedly.".

" Damn right you will", Tsunade half threatened before there was a knock and the door opened. A 8 month term Shizune walk...waddled in. " Gomen Tsunade-sama...but...the Academy just sent a message saying my children have played hookey". she explained.

Tsunade's eyebrows rose as Naruto turned to the window to pop some clones for a search. He froze mid handsign.

" Umm, I think I found them...an so much for our kids not getting yours involved.

Tsunade's eyes widened as she swung around and looked out the window. A silent scream played on her face as she looked at the Hokage Monument, with all the heads now sporting green snot coming from their noses and anime stye tears coming from their eyes.

Tsunade was about to scream out the window but Shizune cut her to the chase.

" MINATO!¡ KAGURA!¡ YOU TWO ARE IN TROUBLE!¡", she roared as the once waddling pregnant woman burst out the window with force that shocked even Tsunade.

Two forms flailed around on the ends of ropes in front of the monument before making their escape from their angry mother.

" You are so taking this job soon, if only to have your face up there for some brats to paint on", Tsunade deadpanned, to which Naruto nervously chuckled.

* Omake*

The Hokage's entire force of 130 Anbu were in her office, such a small, cramped office, with so many people in it. One Anbu with a Tanuki mask got an evil idea. It was unladylike and improper, but hell, she was raised by the Inuzukas, so to hell with it. She put her idea into motion.

" This is going to be epic", she chuckled.

" What's going to be epiAAARRGH!"

" OH GOD, WHAT'S THAT HORRIBLE STENCH?¡"

" WHO THE HELL DIED?¡

"OPEN THE DAMN WINDOWS!"

"THEY'RE BLOCKED BY ANBU!"

" YOU ARE ANBU!"

129 Anbu and one Hokage wretched, cried out in agony, held their breath, waved their hands fruitlessly, and tried to light low level fire jutsu in a room that negated them.

One laughed like a rabid hyena.


	4. The Meek shall inherit the Strong?

Naruto burst through the double doors of the Hokage's office, ready to throw the vial down, only to see something that halted him right in front of Tsunade's desk.

Jiraiya caught her first.

"Ero-senin?¡ What the hell are you doing here?", he pointed accusingly at the Toad sage, who had his arms wrapped around a pouting Tsunade. He completely ignored the two elders on the side of the desk that came to protest what was happening.

Jiraiya smiled, " Doing something I should have a long time ago Gaki!".

Naruto's plan was foiled. He never thought Jiraiya would get to her first. In frustration, he threw whatever object it was in his hand down to the ground.

" Dammit! OH SHIT!"

It was the vial. With a poof of smoke the contents started forming a cloud. As quickly as Naruto could, he jumped back away from the cloud that would surely regress him to a glint in his dead father's eye.

So quick was he to get out of the cloud, he collided with someone that held out their arms to soften the blow from the human missile.

Shizune.

A loud thud came from the two as they landed on the floor in a heap. The lone Anbu in the room saw 750 ryou in the making and banded them before they even recovered from the fall.

" Got one! Uzumaki Naruto and Uzumaki Shizune!", he proclaimed as the couple's eyes went wide with realization.

They stared at eachother, seconds lasting minutes, until the coughing in the background turned into yells.

" What the hell is this?¡", Tsunade piped up.

" I have no idea, but it's worse than that we...tobacco that I got in water country!", Jiraiya answered.

" My eyes are burning! What did that little punk do?¡", Was that Koharu?¡

" What the hell happened to your voice?", asked...Homura?

When the smoke cleared, the changes were obvious. While not back in their lithe twenties, the two elders were indeed 30 years younger, looking like they just passed the 40's mark. To say it was a major improvement would be an understatement. Tsunade and Jiraiya gawked at them and turned to eachother. Jiraiya's wizened face spoke of less...wizened...and more energy. And Tsunade was pushing her hands into the Ram sign over and over again with a fit of hysterical laughter.

" WE'RE YOUNGER!", they all shouted in joy before the two, now couples, started dancing...and then making out.

" AACK!", three people screamed in the form of the Uzumakis and an Anbu. While it might not have grossed out someone just passing by, they knew them from before so the image of-

" RETREAT!", the Anbu yelled, eliciting the Uzumaki's to follow suit as they ran out the door.

* Out in the village*

The Anbu had broken off, after they had escaped the tower, to find more bonus- couples to band, leaving the Uzumakis to walk silently back to Naruto's apartment through the chaos of kunoichi's running away from their preda- possible suitors.

Once they got there, they sat quietly on his bed until Shizune started looking around.

" Um...why are there pink shackles on your bed?", she asked nervously. Naruto finally found the power to talk.

" Uh...well...they were meant for someone else", he answered uncomfortably.

Shizune turned to look at him, " Who?", she asked curiously.

Naruto nervously laughed, " Well, you saw how the councilors and Sanin got younger in there. I...well...I was going after Tsunade.", He replied while scratching the back of his head.

"O-oh...I must really be a disappointment to you then", she said as her head slumped.

The comment caught Naruto off guard, " W-what? No! Of course not!", he blurted out in shock.

It did little to lift her self esteem, " You don't need to lie Naruto. I know I'm not as talented, or beautiful, as Tsunade."

"That's not true at all, you have plenty of talent and beauty!", he argued, but it didn't register with Shizune.

" I can't even hold a candle to her combat skills, I act like a scared child in tense situations, I have a pet pig, I've never even had se-".

Any other self demeaning reflections she was going to list off stuck in her throat as she stared wide eyed at Naruto, whose lips were massaging hers at the moment.

When he finally pulled back from the kiss, she stared at him in disbelief, letting him get a word in edgewise.

" Stop berating yourself Shizune. You are a capable kunoichi and medic nin, and very beautiful. Yes, I went after Tsunade because she is a very stunning woman, and I wanted her to have a second chance, despite seeing her as a mother. That's Jiraiya's job now. You are a very stunning woman as well Shizune, and your quirks just add to it. I always knew you would catch someone though. I just didn't think it would be me, and quite literally I might add" he teased as he cupped her chin.

"Y-you're not just saying that to make me feel better are you?" she asked with doubt.

Naruto responded by going in for another deep kiss, which he quickly one upped by pushing his his tongue into her mouth and molesting hers. If the first one shocked Shizune, this one totally floored her. Her hands went up in a weak defense but were easily held by Naruto's.

When the kiss finally broke, Shizune's breath was erratic as she stared into his deep blue eyes. She realized somewhere in the back of her thoughts that she was standing but it never made it to the forefront of her attention.

" I don't lie often these days Shizune-chan, and certainly not to my new wife. Speaking of which-", he tailed off, as his gaze lowered.

Shizune breath hitched as she felt a tugging at the sash that held her kimono, yet her arms hung at her sides, not even attempting to resist, as if she wanted him to see her.

As the sash was pulled away, the now loose kimono draped on her shoulders, ready to slip off. Her nervous eyes were affixed to his own as she felt his hands on the sides of her shoulders before running down her arms, the kimono with it. her skin turned to goosebumps as the cool air in the room rolled over her.

Naruto looked down at what she was wearing and did a double take. The secrets you could hide under loose clothing. Shizune's D-cups were well fastened down with a very risque looking lacy black see through bra, and a...thong...that did the same, and blatantly displayed that she did, indeed, shave down there.

" Whoa", was all Naruto could squeak out as he gazed at Shizune's form with awe.

" I-is there something wrong...oh", Shizune stopped when she saw how Naruto's pants looked ready to burst a seam from the tension. Shizune gained a blush as she realized nothing was wrong, well, except for...

Naruto watched dumbfoundedly as Shizune knelt in front of him and unbuttoned his pants. Moments later she was pulling them down around his ankles along with his boxers, freeing "little" Naruto, which was now poking her cheek. Then, hesitant at first, she grabbed it with both hand and started slowly stroking, then she stuck out her tongue and ran it along the underside of his cock, but not before mysteriously coating her tongue in green chakra. The effect was instantaneous.

"W-WHOA", was the most intelligible thing Naruto could come out with as pleasure sizzled through his shaft like a fuse, following Shizune's tongue. The next thing his mind registered was Shizune's lips pressed against the head of his penis right before she pushed it into her mouth, her lips parting tightly around his member as it went deeper into her mouth.

Shizune didn't stop until her lips touched the base of his 8 inches. Being the apprentice of the best medic on the continent meant Shizune knew every intimate working of the human body. Every nerve, every muscle reflex, and more importantly, how to manipulate them. Although, this is the first time she could ever put some of these skills to a real test. So far, the results were what she had hoped for as she started bobbing up and down on his member, her tongue massaging the undershaft as she did, all the while sending altered healing chakra to various parts of her mouth.

Naruto struggled to stay standing against the barrage of ecstasy he was receiving, but it was proven futile as his knees buckled, sending him on his ass. Now Shizune was between his legs, still continuing her ministrations. Naruto could almost envision batwings on her back, but was more likely to be his inability to focus.

" T-two...can play at...thhehat game", he managed to slurr out and concentrate enough to pop a clone. The clone curtly got behind Shizune and pulled her thong to the side, marveling in the view before lunging face first at his prey.

"Hmmph!", Shizune muffled out from the feeling of the clones tongue attacking her pussy, yet she managed to keep her pace. While Naruto had learned a few things from Jiraiya over the years, Shizune was obviously the one with more knowledge. She resisted the pleasure the clone was giving her and concentrating on the task at hand. As soon as she started feeling Naruto's muscle's contracting, she pulled back to the tip and grabbed his shaft with a glowing green hand. With a cry and an involuntary rise of his hips, he erupted into her mouth over and over again, every spurt feeling like another orgasm, bigger than the last. After spilling all his seed, his hips dropped back to the floor. He stared dumbly at her as she sucked in her swelled cheeks and made a couple gulping noises before exhaling noisily, her mouth empty. He absentmindedly noticed the disappearance of the clone, probably dispelled when he lost concentration from the killer orgasm.

" Was that alright?", she asked unsurely. Somewhere in the back of his head, he couldn't help but feel miffed that she could act so insecure, yet had just downed him like a hungry succubus. In the rest of his head, he was thinking what any man would after such events happened. "Jackpot"

"Jackpot?¿", she asked with confusion. Did he actually say that out loud?

"Uh...I mean um...w-where did you learn to do that?", he changed the subject.

She looked away, " Um, Medical knowledge from Tsunade-sama mostly...th-though I was the one to come up with...that", she managed to say as a blush crawled onto her cheeks. " I never got to try it until now though".

Naruto gave a a hysterical laugh, " You would have probably been married years ago if you had", he admitted, earning her look of surprise.

" So...it really was good?", she asked hopefully, earning a nod from Naruto. " Then...could you...", she trailed off looking down at her thong, which was obiviously soaked from the attention of the clone that had been cut short.

Naruto quickly got up, then almost fell down, but quickly regained his balance, " Of course Shizune-chan, but let's continue on the bed.", he stated, picking her up and laying her on the bed.

"Y-you're not going to tie me up are you?"

" Do you want to be?"

" Umm...no?"

" Maybe later then"

Before Shizune could respond, Naruto had coupled his lips with hers again, but this time, Shizune wrapped her arms around his neck, locking him into it. Seeing his opportunity, he reached down and lifted her legs to his side, which she promptly wrapped around his waist. He braced himself with one hand and with the other, aimed himself for her pussy, and with a slow thrust, pushed himself inside of Shizune. She gasped as they kissed, sucking the air through his nostrils, through his mouth and into hers. It was a unique feeling that was lost in the pleasure that followed.

*The next morning*

Naruto laid tangled in his sheets with only his black t-shirt on. The sunlight pierced through his window and onto his face, causing the blonde to stir. His hand clumsily groped around for something, but could not find it in the bed with him. He raised his groggy head to see that Shizune was missing, but also allowed him to take in a foreign aroma wafting into the room. Well...foreign in the Uzumaki residence anyways. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious.

He finally pulled himself out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxers before shuffling towards the kitchen. It...couldn't be...could it?

* In the kitchen*

" It is", he mumbled in awe.

Shizune turned around from the stove to see Naruto staring at her wideeyed. " Good morning Naruto-kun. I hope you don't mind. I was hungry so I decided to make something. There wasn't much to work with but...um...are you crying?", she asked unsurely.

Indeed he was. ' She can cook. SHE CAN COOK WELL!'

Shizune didn't know what the heck happened. First, she saw Naruto crying, then he lunged at her and wrapped himself around her legs while yelling to the world-

" JACKPOT, JACKPOT, JACKPOT!", he wailed as he buried his face into her legs/crotch. She spent a good three minutes prying him off and calming him down.

"Honestly Naruto, It's just breakfast", she sighed as she set down the food.

" It's more than just breakfast. It's our first meal and husband and wife...*sniffle*...with hopefully many more to come", he sniffled out, causing Shizune to blush.

" So...you don't mind being married to me?", she asked as she played with the ring on her finger.

" Mind? Aside from being a sex goddess and-" he took a bite of food before continuing with a tear in his eye , " a great cook. You have the warmheartedness and caring attitude to be a great mother, you're smart, cheerful, and protective, yet humble, and cautious. I can say proudly that I found a diamond in the rough, AND-", he paused to set his chopsticks down before looking at her with a sincerity she has yet to see again.

" I am honored to have you as my wife, Uzumaki Shizune", he stated with a smiled, gaining a deeper blush and a smile from Shizune.

" Arigatou...husband".

Timeskip

Tsunade toiled endlessly on the god forsaken stacks of demonic papers that littered her office. She mused that if one were to somehow seal it's evil into someone, that person would rule the world, for no leader would be able to defeat them.

Before she could think anymore on the frivolous subject, her life-long assistant waddled into the room with another stack of papers and set them on the desk before starting to walk out again. Tsunade loudly sighed.

" Honestly Shizune! Can't you bring me anything GOOD for a change?", she whined as she wrote. Then the footsteps stopped.

" Are you saying I'm a bad omen?".

Tsunade's pen stopped moving. No killer intent was felt. Instead, it was like a void had swallowed up the room. Tsunade looked up to see Shizune was now facing her, yet her eyes were covered in blackness.

" Um..."

" That I'm bad new whenever I walk through your door, only good to rain on your oh-so-happy little parade?¡ Maybe that's my life calling! Maybe I should deliver ALL the bad news to the ENTIRE VILLAGE!", Shizune ranted on, growing louder by the second. Normally,

" U-um..Shiz-"

" SHIZUNE OF THE TERRIBLE NEWS! THAT'S WHAT THEY'D CALL ME! HER ONLY PURPOSE IS TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SON/DAUGHTER/MOTHER/FATHER/WIFE/HUSBAND DIED IN SOME GOD FORSAKEN RICE PATTIE BEHIND ENEMY TERRITORY! " I'M SORRY HONEY, WE COULD ONLY FIND THE UPPER HALF OF YOUR FATHER'S BODY! THE REST IS PROBABLY IN AN ENEMY VILLAGE BEING EXTRACTED OF SPECIMENS FOR BREEDING! SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE ALOT OF BROTHERS AND SISTERS BUT THEY'RE...they're being...*sob*..trained to kill you!", and with that she broke down crying.

In a normal situation, Tsunade would have fired right back in anger, but two things kept that from happening. One. After Shizune's and Naruto's coupling, the little twerp had the bright idea of helping Shizune up her training, which she took to like a sponge to water. She was, with no argument, S-ranked, and had managed to put even Kakashi through the wringer, something his wife didn't like too much, but could do little about. Two. This strength was amplified by the fact that she was 6 months pregnant, which made going against her feel like wrestling an Onba, which was not helped by the OBVIOUS mood swings she was now going through.

"Sh-Shizune. Are...you feeling all right?", Tsunade asked hesitantly as she started crouching into her chair.

Shizune stopped crying immediately, " Of course I am. Me, be the bearer of all that horrible news, that's just silly! Hahahahahaha!", she full blown laughed.

Tsunade's face twitched into a nervous smile" Y-yeah...heheh-"

"WHAT THE FUCK'S SO FUNNY?¡"

Ok, now Tsunade was full blown hiding under her desk. The two Anbu that had appeared next to Shizune didn't look too eager to try taking on the raven haired woman either, if their hesitant approaches...and subsequent small retreats were anything to go by.

' Damn cowards',...thought the Hokage hiding behind her desk.

Shizune's face went blank as she started speaking in monotone, " I guess it was inevitable, dressing like some manga character that guides dead souls, I should have a big ugly weapon to go with it, I should have bigger breasts too. " You're loved one is dead but here are my breasts to make it better", but I don't even have those *sob*. Why can't I have bigger breasts?¡", she wailed as she grabbed the closest thing next to her and started sobbing into it...which was the Anbu that retreated slower than the other.

" Sh-shizune-san! Please get ahold of-"

" GET THE FUCK OFF ME!", she roared throwing the Anbu she was sobbing on into a wall. He stuck there, twitching, until he finally fell into a heap on the floor.

" Psst! Cat!", Tsunade harshly whispered/wheezed, only to find her hiding right next to her.

"Get Naruto in here now!", she whisper ordered to the Anbu, who was happy to get away from the woman that was currently pacing while shouting to noone in particular.

*6 minutes later*

Naruto scratched his head as the purple haired Hatake basically pushed him towards Tsunade's office.

" Ok...so...you want me to calm down my wife?", he asked unsurely.

" Yes", she responded with desperation.

"...Mood swings?", he asked after adding it all up.

" Mood swings, demonic possession, whatever you want to call it...uh..no offense", she added quickly.

Naruto crossed his arms as she pushed him up the steps of the Hokage Tower, " I'm not possessed", he grumbled in offense.

" Something possessed you to get her pregnant", she argued.

" Yeah, it's called testosterone and a gleam in my eye, the same thing alot of the new husbands got", he retorted with a quirked eyebrow.

" Yet I don't see their wives ripping apart Konoha now do I?¡", she growled, but then her eyes widened as Naruto became impossible to move. She looked up to see him staring at her with accusation.

" THIS coming from the woman that just pushed me THROUGH two houses, four walls, an herb garden, and the woman's side of an onsen to get me here!", he argued at her hypocrisy before adding, " Three months in if I remember correctly. ".

This shocked Cat-san, " Who the hell told you?¡".

" Kakashi. He's been shouting it to the world like Gai's Flames of youth for the past two months", he answered.

'That Man!', she thought before shaking her head free of any continuation. " Never mind, just get yours to stop scaring the piss out of the Hokage!", she said shoving him the rest of the way to the office.

" Honestly! You make it sounds worse than it...teh", he stopped as he watched Shizune laughing like a hyena while shaking a very much unconscious Anbu.

When Shizune saw Naruto, she stopped and just stared at him. When Tsunade saw him, she saw salvation.

" Naruto! I have decided to...to give Shizune 5 months of maternity leave!", she shouted out with a false smile.

Naruto turned his attention from Shizune to the Hokage, " O..kaaay. So, why am I here?".

"Uh...you're joining her for moral support!", she half lied. If Naruto was with her, he would be the brunt of her mood swings.

Naruto looked at her with confusion, " How would that work? Neither of us would be making any income!", he argued, causing Tsunade to immediately fire back.

" Weekly stipend. A big one! In fact think of it as a long, all expenses paid vacation!", she proclaimed/pleaded.

"Um...ok-"

"Great! You can start today! In fact both of you should start right now heheh...please?.", ok now she was pleading.

"Al..right. Shizune...chan?", he paused as he noticed she was now only a foot away from his face and staring at him with a primal lust.

In the next instant her kimono fell, and before it even hit the floor she had RIPPED off his shirt and wrapped her arms around his neck.

" TAKE ME MAN-PET!", was what she growled before smashing her lips into his and tackling him to the floor.

Tsunade and Cat, who had been dragging the downed Anbu out of the room, both went ghost white.

" OkayhaveagoodtimeRETREAT!", Tsunade yelled as she jumped out the window and Cat dragged the Anbu out the door which shut with a bang.

Once everything was quiet, Shizune opened her eyes and looked at Naruto, parting the kiss. Then, she smirked, " It worked".

Naruto smirked as well, " Told you it would. So...shall we continue before starting our vacation?", he asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.

" I HAVE always wanted to do it on the desk", she said standing up in her laced form, before walking over to the mentioned object and bending over it.

" Remember the rules, no vaginal until after the birth", she hinted as she shook her thonged ass at him.

He was up in a flash, " Yes honey".

*With Tsunade*

Sitting in a restaurant after the incident, she downed another cup of tea in one go. ' Those were really bad mood swings. I never thought she could be like that' Tsunade thought with a shudder.

She then looked down at her stomach. ' I hope I don't go through that in 4 months.' she worried, before sighing in irritation.

"Who am I kidding. Considering the father, I'll probably turn into a pervert and the kid won't want to leave my womb", she exclaimed, much to the confusion and embarrassment of the other patrons.

*AAACHOO!*

Tsunade looked up, " Speak of the devil". she mumbled as she looked at the Toad Sage walking towards her, but something wasn't right. He looked like he saw a ghost. A very naked female ghost if the nosebleed and pale complexion was anything to go by.

" Where were you? And what the hell happened?", she asked in confusion.

He shakily sat down at the table. " I went to your office to take you out for lunch..."

GIKU

" Imagine my surprise when I saw Shizune riding Naruto like a rodeo horse..."

GIKUGIKU

"Except not on his back"

Oh God

" And on your desk"

Tsunade's head met the table.

"Now I'm going to have to disinfect it", she whined.

" Or burn it...what exactly happened?", he asked warily.

Tsunade sighed, " I'll tell you later. Let's just enjoy my half day off before I have to go back there tomorrow", she groaned, getting an empty nod from the spymaster as he tried to recollect himself. After all, the nosebleed shot him all the way over here from the tower, so he didn't have much time to recover. But something came to mind.

"Tsunade"

"What?"

" We should try that sometime"

"...hentai"

.


	5. What Goes Around Bad Ending

As quickly as Naruto could, he jumped back away from the cloud that would surely regress him to a glint in his dead father's eye.

So quick was he to get out of the cloud, he colided with someone that held out their arms to soften the blow from the human missile.

The Anbu

A loud crash came from the door as the two barreled through it and into the wall adjacent from it.

Shizune poked her head out to see the damage.

" Thanks for the save", Naruto groaned.

" Don't mention it", the Anbu said in a strained voice. Mostly because Naruto was laying ontop of him.

Shizune started healing them, oblivious to the reactions in the room.

A few seconds later found most of their bruises gone.

" Honestly Naruto, what the hell is the big rush?", Shizune chastised, but any answer was lost in the following proclamation.

" WE'RE YOUNGER!"

Three sets of eyes looked into the room. Three sets of eyes widened in horor. Three sets out mouths cried-

" OH GOD! MY EYES! RETREAT!", before stumbling over eachother trying to escape the horror.

*Out in the streets of Konoha*

Naruto simmered as he trudged along the road, listening vaguely to the cackles of men that were chasing their fleeing quarry...he knew he shouldn't think like that but it fit so damned perfectly. Though, sometimes it wasn't the males doing the chasing. A perfect example was the man slung over the shoulder of a 6'3" tall, dark skinned Amazonian looking woman, that had just passed by.

" Lucky bastard", Naruto proclaimed audibly.

" Then take my place!", the body...man shouted.

" No!"

" Why not?¡"

" Cause I wanna be the man"

" But I wanna be the man too!"

" Good luck with that!", Naruto yelled as the "not man" and his new wife rounded a corner. He could hear obscenities being directed towards him until they finally faded away. With a chuckle, Naruto continued on his way through the village. He felt his mood lighten a bit as he turned left at a T-section in the road.

That good mood went away.

Only after a couple blocks of walking down the road, he came upon dozens of men laying on the ground, groaning and trying to crawl away from the monster that had downed them,

" Take that you perverts! My heart will only belong to Sasuke-kun!", it roared as it downed another passerby that was actually chasing after another kunoichi entirely.

For the love of god.

Naruto couldn't fault himself for finding her attractive when he was younger. She was hot. But his younger self was emotionally retarded, never seeing the inner beauty.

Hers was uglier than sin, which negated the physical beauty ten fold.

Suddenly, the monster's green eyes shifted towards him, boring into his own. Her visage of rage twisted into an even deeper one, uglying her expression even more. Then, she charged.

"Na-RU-TOOO!"

Naruto's teeth grit, and instead of doing what he had for the past god-knows-how-many years. He charged as well.

"BRING IT ON YOU WHORE!"

While Naruto was stronger than any person in the village, and could slap away the monster like an annoying bug, he was still recovering his reflexes and motor functions, so imagine his surprise when he found himself in an indecisive battle with the monster.

She punched

He dodged and roundhoused

She jumped and did an arial axe kick that left a large crater.

Naruto jumped from his position on the edge of the crater and leveled a flying kick at her face.

She ducked and tried to retaliate.

It went on like this for a good 8 minutes, with the monster turning the road into moonscape. And then they found themselves locked in a stalemate, grappling the others arms and pushing for dominance as they bore holes into eachother eyes.

And then two rings popped onto their fingers.

And everything stopped.

Naruto turned to see an Anbu running away, saying something about Uzumaki Sakura, and his stomach twisted in a knot. He eyes darkened as his thoughts did as well.

The monster gawked at the ring on her finger, and then roared for the world to hear.

" YOU BAKA! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GET ME INTO?¡ I DON'T WANT TO BE THE WIFE OF A DEMON LIKE YOU! THIS IS ALL-"

She kept ranting and raving as Naruto's mind concocted a plan so twisted and evil that it could, ironically, be called demonic. Deciding to cut off the banshees rant, he levelled a glare at her.

" SHUT UP SAKURA! I KNOW HOW TO GET THE BANDS OFF!" he shouted, which stopped her dead.

"Then what are you waiting for?¡ Get them off!" She yelled.

Naruto popped a clone with half his chakra and nodded at it, since it already knew what to do. It then quickly left towards it's target.

" What the hell are you doing?¡", Sakura demanded before Naruto leveled another glare at her.

"Preparing. I need supplies to do it. We're going to do it at my apartment so nobody interferes", he growled at her through his teeth.

" Oh great, I get to walk into your shithole of a...WHOA..SLOW DOWN YOU RETARD!", she roared due to him walking towards the apartment without her, which activated their rings and started dragging her along by the finger.

*Meanwhile at Anko's Kinky Kunai*

The Naruto clone walked into the store and quickly flashed the ring at Anko, who had numerous kunai in both hands ready to throw at him. Her shoulders relaxed visibly.

" So I take it you succeeded gaki?", she asked with a grin as she set the kunai down. Her grin melted off her face when she noticed his seething yet distant expression.

" No?"

"Sakura", he finally spoke, laced with contempt.

Anko became uncomfortable, which was surprising for the woman considering her past, " I...I don't have any piano wire", she replied back in a small voice. Naruto stood there staring at her for a while with an unreadable expression, then his eyes started shifting around the store as he walked up to the counter.

" That's alright. Death isn't an option anyways, unless I wanted to go to jail for a very long time. I need something a little less fatal. A little, mind you. I need something...something that..."

He leaned on the counter during his pause and stared into Anko's eyes with a very dark look of commitment.

His mouth moved but no words were spoken, yet Anko heard it clearly.

Anko gave a sigh of resignation before looking at him again, " I...have one thing that I picked up from T&I that some of the employees said should never see the light of day. Mind you most of those employees were women.", she advertised with the seriousness of a businesswoman.

Naruto's eyebrow quirked. " Do tell".

Anko went on as she beckoned him to follow her into the back room, " It was made by Ibiki's predecessor. Let's just say she makes Ibiki's tactics look like a job interview. She also had a knack for creating the devices she used. She apparently called this one the " Docillator".

She led him towards an object in the middle of the room that was covered with a brown tarp. With a yank, she pulled the tarp off, displaying a very decietfull looking device.

"How much?", Naruto asked quickly after seeing the device. Anko looked at him before turning away.

" A thousand ryou (around $100). I doubt anyone else would use it for such "noble" purposes. Buuut...", she drawed out before leaning in and whispering in his ear.

He smirked.

" Deal. I think she would be "delighted" at such an opportunity", he replied as the clone popped two clones of his own. Once they handed her the money and packed the machine up, they picked out a few other items, then made their way to Naruto's house full bore to get set up before the original and his..._wife..._got home.

With a little creativity, they got done 5 minutes before Naruto and Sakura started up the stairs to the apartment complex.

" GOOD GOD, HOW HAS THIS PLACE NOT FALLEN TO THE GROUND YET?¡ I doubt even demons would live here". The clones heard Sakura insulting their home as the two grew closer. With a few pops, there were now 5 of them waiting inside the house.

Naruto finally got to the door, unlocked and opened it, and moved to the side, " _Ladies_ first", he grit out. Sakura did so.

" Damn straight ladies first, though it's a shitty gesture comming from yo-HEY! GET THE HELL OFF ME! STOP!", she screamed as one clone slapped a chakra suppression seal on her and the others tackled her to the ground.

The real Naruto sighed, " Honestly Sakura, you have the danger sense of a lemming.".

Sakura was too busy trying to keep her clothes on, which the clones were forcefully tearing off her. It only took one pull and a yank to expose her puny tits for the world to see as she screamed then cried when they started ripping off her skirt and shorts along with it. She would have covered herself with her hands if one clone wasn't dedicated to wrenching her arms back into a monoglove. Once she was buck naked with even her sandals missing, the clones started forcing on a different attire, including a posture collar, a bustless corset (that did nothing to accentuate her mosquito bites), kneehigh ballet boots with black stockings and garters, and the piece de resistance...

Sakura screamed, cried, and then shut up as a large rubber, yet hollow, phallus was shoved into her mouth. Then she struggled as the leather hood it was attached to was pulled to her face, forcing the phallus into the back of her mouth, and then wrapped tightly over her head, only allowing her fearful green eyes to be seen through two holes, and her nose as well, which had been pulled up with nose hooks, which fit perfectly with the two leather pig ears on top of the hood. When the clones were finished, they attached a leash to the posture collar and pulled her harshly to her feet, which stumbled in the tricky ballet boots, causing her to choke until she finally was able to put her weight on them. Naruto cupped her chin forcing her to look into his cold eyes.

" I lied. There is no way to get them off. What do you have to say about that, _Wife_?", he asked with an amused undertone.

"BUUEEEEH...bueh", she looked down at her mouth in horror when she heard was came out instead of a scream.

Naruto laughed darkly, " My, you sound like a pig, Sakura. You look like one too. To think you fit the name better than Ino ever did. I wonder what she'd say if she saw you now.".

Tears started to form in Sakura's eyes as she tried not making a sound yet a few squeals still managed to make it through. Naruto continued on.

" Since you're stuck as my wife, I obviously can't have you running around with the attitude you've been showing, so I have to train you into a good little housewife. It will be a long road, and quite a painfull one I might add. Speaking of which, there was something I wanted to do before I start you down the path", he finised as he grabbed her leash, drug her towards the couch and forcefully folded her over the couch with her ass facing him.

She tried to brace for what she knew was coming, but her prediction proved to be horrifyingly wrong as he felt him pushing a small amount of lube into her ass. Squeals fell on deaf ears as he lined himself up with Sakura's exit and pushed himself in to the hilt. The squeal that followed was almost deafening, as were the ones that followed as he started pumping enthusiastically into her.

Sakura's legs flailed around as she tried to find something to push herself off of him, but it was all for not as he stopped thrusting, pulled her legs between his and locked them with his forcing her thighs together, and started pumping again which added fuel to the fire that was burning in her intestines. With a guttural cry, he unloaded himself into her abused ass and pulled out of the way as she sank to the floor and sobbed to herself, which just sounded like a pig in heat really. He nodded to his clones and they went on either side of her and picked her up wholly.

Sakura's eyes were clenched shut, tears running down her hooded face as she felt the clones pick her up. She felt the tears cool as air rushed passed her face from movement. When it stopped, she managed to pry an eye open, only for the other one to shoot open in horror with the first as she layed eyes on the contraption that dominated the room.

It looked like a rounded top wooden horse, except it had two vicious looking, 10 inch, rubber spiked dildos standing proudly out of the top of it. Wires and other attachement layed on a tray right next to the table. The clones started moving towards it, which prompted Sakura to start flailing and squealing, but with her chakra cut off, she was pitifully weak.

the clones split between the two sides of the horse, pulling Sakura's legs apart with them, and moving over the dildos. With one fell drop, they impaled Sakura's two lower orifices on the dildos, eliciting a scream that made Naruto happy that the apartment complex was completely his.

Sakura screamed/ sobbed to herself as blood ran down the front dildo yet the clones were busy doing other things, like stabbing strange clamps through her nipples, belly button, clitoris and vaginal folds while she was distracted with the greatest pain of them all. Another hooked cuffs to her booted feet and ran them with leather tethers down to anchors on the floor, before wrenchin them tight causing whatever wasn't impaled on the dildos to dig into the rounded top of the horse, which was actually covered in dull spiked steel. Once the clones were finished, they popped out of exsistence leaving only Naruto and Sakura into the room.

" Bueeh! BUEEEH!", Naruto could almost hear the pleading in the squeals she elicited from the gag.

" No Sakura, the time for pleading is gone. You'll have popped out a few of our kids before I even start considering that you've finally made up for you transgressions. And by then...well, who knows what you'll be. Look at the bright side though...can't think of one. Anyways.", he left off, coming up to her with a syringe and shooting her in the arm with something.

" That will make sure you really feel every orgasm you have in the next three days", he explained as he hooked an IV drip up to her. Once he was done he flipped a switch, set up a camera, and waved at her as he walked out of the room and shut the door, leaving Sakura to stare at herself in the mirror that had been placed in front of her. She looked disgusting. Like some perverted half human, half animal. Her situation finally hit her full bore and she silently cried to herself, that is until the machine started up.

The vibrators came to life inside of her, making her realise that she actually felt pleasure down there, alot of it. Then the clamps, which were attached to wires that ran into the horse, sparked to life in a literal sense, as electricity started coursing through different parts of her body at differnt times and intensities. It took Sakura only minutes to come to a mind blowing orgasm eliciting a shrill squeal from her. The same came from the second about ten minutes later. When the third came, it was more pained. Then came the desperation as she realised the machine wasn't going to stop. She remembered what Naruto said. Three days. She desperately thrashed around after the fourth mind shattering orgasm hit her but to no avail as the tethers kept her taught on the machine.

Naruto sealed the room off with a sound minimizing seal as Sakura hit her sixth orgasm, and only in an hour and a half. Maybe he shouldn't have given her such a large dose of that sexual enhancing drug. Well too late for that.

One thing he didn't account for was the tether between the rings, so he was stuck in the next room for the next three days, or whenever the damn rings stopped doing that.

" I think Tsunade just told everybody about the " Until enough copulation has taken place" so they end up with eachother out of affection or a broken condom", he mused to himself. It made sense. Speaking of which-

He popped a clone and gestured it to go while he had another get him some shit to do for the next three days.

( At the Hokage Tower)

The Hunt was going perfectly. Over 400 couples had been already registered and it wasn't even noon yet! Her happiness was somewhat cut down thanks to Shizune running away, leaving her to do the announcing and updates, but her newfound youth made up for it. Speaking of which, she needed to thank the..

Her eyes stopped on one of the couples listed and she felt a pit in her stomach.

Uzumaki Naruto and Uzumaki Sakura.

She wanted to hope that it was another Sakura but it was from the same Anbu that called in medics to care for a bunch of wounded shinobi in the same vicinity...oh and her maiden name was there staring her in the face. 

" They must have gotten into a fight and the Anbu jumped on it", she thought. It made sense. She doubted Naruto would cower under the girl now.

A knock on the door brought her attention away from the outcome.

" Enter"

Her stomach clenched when she saw Naruto enter with Sakura nowhere in sight. The bands were meant to keep them close so that meant.

" Either you chopped off her hand or you killed her, neither of which I'm really liking the idea of", she stated without even letting him speak.

He caught on right after she finished, " Neither. I'm just a clone. She's completely whole and still alive", he answered. Tsunade sighed in relief, but it was short lived.

" Though, what we're doing to her would be most deffinitely " Frowned Upon"", he continued with a quotation from the rules, which deffinitely did make Tsunade frown.

"Naruto", she said with warning in her tone but he was ready for the argument.

" I know. It's... horrible... and appauling, but with her attitude. GOD her attitude. I'm sure if I hadn't chanced upon her she probably would have killed someone sooner or later, and she would have been a lost cause anyways. I know you're going to hate me saying this, but she NEEDED to be broken of that and everything else she's become lately. I would never do it to any other woman, and you know that.", he reasoned.

" I...could get them off with some time. You could find another girl", she offered after a while.

The clone sighed in resignation as it flopped into the chair in front of her desk, " I already thought of that. By then every kunoichi in the village would be coupled, so I'd either have to go with a civilian...no thank you...or look outside of Konoha for a wife. And while I know a few, I can't really bring them back considering they're running their own countries or loyal to other villages. I hate to say it but I'm stuck with...Namikaze Uzumaki Sakura.", he finished with hesitation from the alien sounding name. Tsunade had to think so too.

" *Sigh*...I'm guessing I should write her off then?", she asked, the question giving Naruto his answer to her position on it.

"Yeah, she's going to be busy for the forseeable future, and after that, I'll doubt she'll be in shape to go back into the shinobi forces.".

Tsunade had to ask, even though she didn't want to, " What exactly ARE you doing to her?".

The clone scratched the back of his head in nervousness, " Um, well, Anko sold me this machine that was made by Ibiki's predecessor-"

"STOP. I don't want to hear any more. I knew that woman and what she did, and I'll spend the rest of my life wishing I didn't", she cut him off with a sick look on her face.

" Oh, uh, then...sorry I made you life longer?", he apologised with question. It brought a welcomed deviation from the current conversation.

" Speaking of which, while I am forever grateful for the second chance, _Why,_ did you do this?", she asked pointing at herself.

"W-well...who do you _think_ I was g-going after when I burst into the office...and made you only ten years older than me?", he asked with a bashful look on his face.

Tsunade had the decency to blush at that conclusion before a coy smile joined it, " Uzumaki Naruto, what would your mother think of you going after an older woman?", she as she mocked crossed her arms.

" If she was as much like me as I've heard...She'd probably approve of a daughter in law that can " kick ass" and would expect grandkids all that much sooner".

Tsunade and Naruto laughed at that idea because that's exactly what would have happened.

" Well, it's a nice feeling to know I was the target of a guy so much younger than me, but you were too slow there buddy boy", she said as she got up and poked him in the nose.

" Guess it's Nee-san from now on then", he replied.

" Nee-san now is it?"

" You're too young to call anything else, and I don't think Ero-senin would appreciate me hitting on his wife", he said with a cheeky grin. Tsunade chuckled.

" I can live with that. So Jiraiya's still Ero-senin?"

Naruto laughed, " That's the beauty of it. He can be Ero-senin at any age! Where is he anyways?".

" He wanted to do something special for our honeymoon. It better not be anything too perverted"

"Too perverted? Well...I guess it IS your honeymoon. At least you two finally got together. Anyways I'm almost out of chakra. A quick question, how long does this stupid tether between the bands last anyways?".

Tsunade quirked an eyebrow. " A week. Why? Already looking to get away from Sakura?".

" No, but I'm stuck in the house for the next three days while Sakura is...enlightened.

" ...I know I'm going to regret asking, but what was it's name?"

" The Docilator-*POOF*".

Tsunade shuddered. Tsunade knew that woman alright. She was one of the first called to apprehend her after it was found out she snapped and started "Interogating" Leaf Kunoichi she kidnapped from their homes. She was also the one tasked with tending to the victims. While one of the less lethal...things...she used, it had a nearly 100% success rate in doing what it was made to do, even to an Inuzuka, as morbidly surprising as that was. She'd have to make sure it was destroyed after all this was done.

[Back at the apartment: 580 orgasms later]

Sakura stopped making shrill squeals halfway into the second day , to the point Naruto took off the muffling seal to even hear if she was making a sound. The great thing about that concoction he injected into her was the way it inhibited loss of conciousness from either fainting or falling asleep, so if she wasn't making a sound, he knew there was something else wrong. Yet, he was able to hear the shaking, grunting squeals coming out of her as her will kept diminishing with every orgasm that came around. And finally, it was time to see the labors of his work.

When he opened the door, it was like an orgy took place in there. It reeked of sweat, juices, and urine. Seeing the size of the puddle on the floor, he had to wonder just how many times she did loose control of her bladder. He brought two clones into play and had them untie Sakura.

Her binds seemed to be the only thing holding her up, because as soon as they unfastened her legs and retracted the dildos into the horse, she slumped to one side before bonelessly falling off and to the ground. Naruto walked up to her and crouched down.

He turned her onto her back and trailed his finger around in front of her eyes, watching as the dead greeen orbs clumsily followed.

' At least she's responsive. I don't want to turn her into a vegetable', he thought as he pulled all of her sweat laden outfit off of her, picked her up bridal style to get her cleaned up

[Timeskip]

It was quiet in the kitchen of the Namikaze household, as Sakura made dinner, though that in itself was an effort when her breasts kept getting in the way of her arms. Thanks Naruto's ministration, they were twice the size of her ex-sensei's. Her hair was down to her ass once again, and the skimpy little china dress she wore around the house did little to hide her curves. Needless to say, her appearance kept her from leaving the estate too often out of whatever humility and shame that hadn't been crushed during the first year of her marriage, especially when she found out that Anko had made a fortune off of videos of her taming. Though, she wouldn't think of it that way.

With seven and a half kids to look after and her husband usually busy in the office, she had plenty to do right at home. It's not like she had any friends to hang out with and her parents were distant for some strange reason. Oh well.

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around her and groped her massive breasts, causing a grunt of discomfort from Sakura as she dropped the ladel.

" Oh? They're swollen again." she heard her husband say from behind as he continued to fondle them. One of the side effects of his previously stated "ministrations", was that Sakura has been lactacting nonstop since before their first child. Naruto's solution to the problem.

" Looks like you get another time out on the Milker", he chirped.

"B-but I'm making d-dinner Naruto-kun", she stuttered out as Naruto wrapped a collar around her neck.

" One of the maids can finish it, now come", he ordered as he yanked on the leash he attached to get her to move. 5 minutes later, they were in front of a door in part of the basement. This Sakura can't say she hates much anymore...but she absolutely hated the machine that came into view as Naruto opened the door. It looked like an inverted leather padded Y, with two holed in the base. With the experience of repetition, Naruto had her dress off in seconds and her arms back in a uniglove. He pushed her forward and guided her swollen udders into the two holes in the Y, and strapped her legs down to the bends and neck to the end. With the pull of a lever, the Y turned horizontal, letting her breasts hang towards the floor. He pulled a hanging pair of latex panties down and shoved the integrated vibrators into her before strapping the panties around her waist.

With all the prep work done, he pushed a button and the whole contraption came to life, causing moans and grunt from Sakura as she tried to hide her face. Naruto was too busy pulling up the two milkers from the floor to notice, and attaching them to her swollen nipples. In only seconds, milk started being pulled from her breasts.

" There you go, see you in an hour or two Sakura", he stated, before giving her a smack on the ass then walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Sakura had little to think of between orgasms while half her breast volume was sucked out of her, and lately, those thoughts were of her just ending it.


	6. Useless

She kept ranting and raving as Naruto's mind concocted a plan so twisted-

" AND NOT TO MENTION HOW FUCKING USELESS YOU ARE-*BAM*"

Whatever plan he had went out the window when he haymakered her to the ground. Her head swam from the impact, and she could feel blood running down her brow from where her head met the pavement. For once, Sakura was speechless.

" Useless huh?", she heard Naruto's eerily calm voice, yet she still couldn't focus on him.

" Tell me...what did you do in Wave? Oh yeah, _nothing_. What did you do in waterfall? _nothing._ What did you do against Gara? NOTHING. What did you do when we were undermanned after the invasion. Oh yeah. YOU SAT THE FUCK AROUND KONOHA WHILE THE REST OF US PICKED UP C AND B RANKS. THEN YOUR LITTLE BATTLE WITH AKATSUKI, AN EIGHTY YEAR OLD WOMAN PUT UP A BETTER FIGHT THAN YOU DID! AND WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE TO HELP BRINK SASUKE BACK?¡ SURE AS HELL DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM LEAVING! DIDN'T HELP AT ALL IN RICE COUNTRY! DIDN'T DO A FUCKING THING DURING EITHER OF OUR LITTLE REUNIONS EITHER!

Tears rolled down Sakura's face as the words echoed through her head. She wished she could deny them. Where was her inner when she needed it.

"Speaking of Mr. Fudgepacker, I'm done looking for him! I'm going to let you in on the biggest NOT secret in the Elemental Nations. HE'S A HOMO. SAI, is straighter than Sasuke and has more personality as well. YET YOU'VE RUINED YOUR APPRENTICESHIP WITH TSUNADE, ALIENATED ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS, AND MANAGED TO FINALLY PISS ME OFF, FOR HIM! A GUY WHO'S NEVER EVEN SAID HE LIKES YOU! AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT?"

'Nothing', Sakura's mental voice betrayed her.

"You've lost EVERYTHING, for NOTHING. Just an ANGRY, WORTHLESS, FRIENDLESS, IDIOT!".

She tried to run away from the truth, mentally and physically, but the tether between the rings stopped her dead, and just resulted in more gashes as she hit the ground, and a broken ring finger. She stared in shock at the ground as tears marred her face in force.

Naruto's anger dropped to just below rage level. Spying a bench that hadn't been destroyed, he walked over to it and plopped down.

" And you just had to drag me into this shit", he growled.

Silence deafened the area as Naruto glowered at the ground in front of him. After about ten minutes, he heard Sakura get up and walk towards him. Then he heard the sound of a kunai being drawn and he tensed. What he saw in front of him though, was the handle. He looked at Sakura to see her eyes, dulled.

" K-kill me"

Naruto's face mirrored shock and confusion. " What?"

" **What the hell are you doing?¡"** Her inner finally piped up but she tried tuning it out.

"I-it's the only way to get out of it isn't it? Till d-death do us part? So...kill me." she stuttered. Konoha laws had their flaws. It's only been around for a hundred years after all, hell the whole village system. So laws clash with traditions, loopholes develop, and the fact that willingly forfeiting your life to someone was a legal gray area was a prime example.

Naruto stared at her for close to a minute before accepting the kunai and getting behind her as she shakily kneeled.

" You're sure about this?", his voice sounding dry.

"Y-you're right. I've lost everything...J-jus-t do it q-ucik", she started to choke as tears feel down her cheeks.

**"DON'T LET THAT DEMON DO THIS! WE STILL HAVE A CHANCE WITH SASUKE-KUN! JUST LEAVE THIS SHITHOLE OF A VILLAGE!"**

"Shut up", she mentally countered as Naruto brought his arm in front of her.

**"YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN ALL THAT WE'VE WORKED FOR BY GIVING YOUR PATHETIC LIFE TO THAT RETARD?¡"**

"Shut up!" she mentally yelled as her head throbbed.

The kunai was pressed to her neck as her eyes clenched shut.

**"i NEVER FIGURED YOU TO BE SUCH A STUPID LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!"**

" SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!¡", she mentally screamed as she felt the drag of the kunai on her neck.

And then the clang as it hit the ground, leaving her with a small shallow cut on her neck.

Her mental battle went silent as she stared through blurry eyes at the kunai that was meant to kill her.

"W-why?", she croaked out.

"...I can't...believe it or not...there's still a part of me that loves you", he answered in a defeated voice.

Sakura's eyes widened as she stared at the ground in front of her. "L-love..." she mumbled.

" Yeah, even after everything that's happened, everything you did..." he replied as he crouched down behind her and hugged her. She felt tears soaking the back of her shirt.

Her own tears started up once again in force. What had she done? How could he...love her after all she had done? When had he started loving her to begin with?

Contemplating this, and the realization of how close to death she was left her shaking like a leaf for a while...until it gained strength.

**" HE'S LYING! DON'T FUCKING LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S ONLY TRYING TO TRICK YOU MORON!" **

Sakura's head throbbed, causing her to teeth to clench as her inner screamed at her.

" I SAID SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!", she mentally screamed, or so she thought. Naruto's head shot up to stare at the back of her head. She never said it a first time.

**" LEAVE?¡ YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH! I **_**MADE**_** YOU! WHO GAVE YOU CONFIDENCE, ADVICE, STRENGTH?¡ WITHOUT ME, YOU'D STILL BE A WORTHLESS LITTLE ABUSE WHORE CRYING OVER YOUR DISGUSTING FOREHEAD!¡"**

The screaming forced Sakura to grasp her head in response to new pain that shot through her head, " I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP ANYMORE! YOU'VE CAUSED ME NOTHING BUT PAIN!", she screamed for the world to hear.

Naruto pulled away from her, " Sakura, who the hell are you screaming at?". Cause he could tell it sure as hell wasn't him. Maybe she was bipolar. He sure as hell thought she was. An innocent schoolgirl one minute and then an icy dominatrix the second...'Sakura in a leather dominatrix outfit...heh' Naruto's mind lost focus for a second.

**" AND I'VE ENJOYED EVERY SECOND OF IT YOU WEAK LITTLE GIRL, BUT I'M NOT GOING A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E!"**

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!", she screamed. Naruto was starting to get freaked out as Sakura started whimpering and clawing at her head. He could match this situation up to two different times in his life that he's seen the same scene with other people.

Both had demons of some form inside them.

And if the shoe fits...damn...now he WISHED she was bipolar.

"Hoooly shit. Sakura!", he tried getting her to focus on him.

**"NO YOU PATHETIC LITTLE HUMAN. GET OUT OF **_**MY **_**HEAD."** It replied darkly before Sakura's head exploded into pure agony, prompting her to fall on her side and curl up into a fetal position as she cried out in pain.

Naruto was on her an instant later as he forced her to look at him, " SAKURA! Stay focused! Don't let whatever the hell it is take over!", he shouted as he grabbed her face in his hands.

" SAKURA!¡", he sreamed point blank. For a moment she refocused.

" h-help-HELP ME! PLEASE!¡", she screamed out in fear before losing focus and foaming at the mouth.

" ANBUUUU!¡", Naruto screamed. Out of blind luck a purple haired Anbu appeared, surprisingly with Kakashi twenty feet away and his face in the dirt.

" What's the matter?", the Anbu barked as she spied the pink haired girl next to Naruto go into what looked like a siezure.

" Get Jiraiya here NOW!", he hollered as her appearance started getting feral. With the situation obvious, the Anbu quickly shot towards the Hokage Tower with Kakashi in tow...flight.

Sakura was tired. She tried to keep it back but it hurt too much, and her hold slipped. As she felt her conciousnees fading, she could see...IT...fighting Naruto, and the things comming out of it's...her mouth. The awful things. She could only hope she didn't do too many bad things to end up in the wrong place when she passed on. Would it let her pass on? What if it absorbed her into it? She would never get to see anyone ever again. That scared her.

"sak-ra ha- on" she could distantly hear as a blurry image of Naruto entered what little vision she had left.

All the things he was doing for her...all the things he had done for her...and she had done nothing for him in return. He even loved her, and yet she never saw it. Yet she openly expressed it, just as he had, to Sasuke and never even got a smile out of him except for that one time during team placements. When did her view of love get so fucked up? Did it matter anymore?

An instant later, something white blurred into the spot of vision that she was quickly losing and she heard someone bellow.

" Fuinjutsu: Evil Influence Suppression!"

And everything went dark. She felt it with her. Angry, hateful...then it grew fearful of something pulling on the thing and it started trying to cling to her, but whatever was pulling, completely ripped it out of the void she was in, leaving her alone. She felt bare without it, it had been in her so long. Old emotions flooded into her.

It felt like only minutes had gone by before she could feel her body tingling. It felt like hours more before she could manage enough strength to crack her eyes open. Everything looked white in front of her. Was she dead? No...she could smell the familiar disinfectant that they used in the hospital. She was alive. Her vision started to focus after a while, but lagged as she moved her eyes around the room. She could see Naruto talking to a white haired man that looked like Jiraiya.

"-seconds more, and she would have been a lost cause", she heard as her hearing started working again.

"Thank god you were hovering around Tsunade. When the hell did she pick something like that up?"

" Who knows. It acted like it was well established so it could have been years ago"

"Years ago? Where the hell did it come from? It's not like they're that numerous"

"Kid, it would scare the shit out of you if you knew. Just because you don't see them all that often, doesn't mean they aren't out there. This one was a close match to the one that Yakumo girl had. I've seen them before. Posess people who have little emotional defenses and thrive off of anger, violence, and misery, while giving little in return."

"N-naruto?", she croaked out, stopping their conversation cold as they both looked at her in shock, then relief. Naruto walked up to her.

" Hey there Sakura? Are you feeling alright? Do you need anything?", he asked quietly.

"wat-er", she managed to request.

After helping her sit up and drink, he waited until her head cleared before starting a conversation, but she took the initiative when her lazy vision rested on a sealed pot sitting near the corner of the room.

" What's that for?", she asked in a quiet voice, yet softer now that her vocal chords didn't feel like dust.

" That's the demon we pulled out of you", Jiraiya supplied to a now wideeyed girl.

"I-I had a demon in me?", she asked with a look of horror.

" A lesser demon than a biju, but yes. More on the lines of what the Kurama heir was possessed by. Though it wasn't even sealed up like hers or Naruto's. I'm surprised it didn't take over sooner", Jiraiya replied.

" Maybe it didn't need to. You said it was a type that fed off of violence and there was plenty of that. I can attest to it", Naruto stated dryly.

"I-I thought it was some stronger inner me.", she stuttered out. When Naruto looked at her, she shied away from his gaze, which wasn't lost on him.

" How long have you had your " Inner" Sakura?", he asked.

"R-right before...I broke my friendship up with I-Ino", she replied feeling his concentrated gaze.

Naruto's gawked at her, " You mean you've had that thing in you for close to 8 years?¡", he exlaimed in suprise, which made her shrink into herself.

" No wonder it almost took control so fast. Though I can't say she exudes confidence and willpower to begin with", Jiraiya piped up causing Naruto to look at him and Sakura to shrink farther into her bed if at all possible.

" Why is that? She had confidence that WASN'T tied to anger or violence. Why the hell is she acting like she did when she was a bully victim?", he asked perplexed.

" Naruto, just because confidence is not a bad emotion does not mean it can't come from a demon. Hell, it can come from enough liquor in someone.".

"So, when we ripped the demon out of Sakura-"

" We ripped alot of "her" out too. Demons can become a part of you Gaki. YOU should know that more than anyone. Even if you say you're nothing like the fox, I KNOW for a fact that you didn't just play those pranks to gain attention. And I doubt all of this new personality I'm seeing from you, was just sitting in the back of your head waiting for a concussion.", Jiraiya stated with a smirk. Naruto harumphed.

" What shoddy suspicions, it's obvious that I-BLOOD DESTRUCTION BONEMEAL FOR BREEAAAAD!",

" Oh har har you funny bastard", Jiraiya deadpanned as Naruto chuckled. Sakura just watched the two.

"So, this is the reason for all the beatings, insults, and crap that I've had to put up with?", he asked picking up the sealing jar.

" Pretty much. I'm sure there was slight irritation on Sakura's part but that thing amplified it by a hudred fold.", Jiraiya answered.

Naruto nodded before just staring at the jar for a while. Then he put one hand on the top and one on the base and started shaking it like a can of paint.

" What the hell are you doing?", Jiraiya asked in annoyance.

" Pissing it off"

" WHY?"

" Why not? This thing has tormented me for years, so I'm getting a little payback!", he proclaimed as he started shaking the jar so hard he started vibrating around the room.

" Honestly! If you break that damn jar, YOU get to seal it up!"

" No idea how!"

" Then it will be good practice!"

" "

" You're making sound effects now?¡"

Tsunade popped in, "Oi, I heard something- Naruto what the hell are you doing?¡"

"jajajajajajajajajasjajajaTAKE THIS YOU DEMONIC BASTARD!"

The bickering went on between the three until Sakura couldn't hold in her laughter anymore.

Everything stopped. Naruto had never heard a laugh like that from Sakura. Neither had Tsunade. Jiraiya could count how many times he had heard a laugh like that in his lifetime on his hands. It was pure, innocent, joyous. It sounded like something an angel would have.

Sakura kept on a few seconds after they stopped, until she noticed they were gawking at her and it sputtered off when embarassement came to her.

"n-nani?", she asked uncomfortably.

"Nothing Sakura-chan. just a little surprised.", Naruto stated with a smile. Tsunade gawked at Naruto.

" Okay. SOMEONE tell me what the hell is going on.", Tsunade ordered, and both Jiraiya and Naruto explained. By the end it looked like Tsunade was told Ultra Mega Chicken was real.

" So let me get this straight. The Sakura that I have seen and trained for the past five years was mostly a demon inside of her?"

"Basically" Jiraiya answered.

" And that, after ripping it out, we're left with a Sakura that is the same as when she first entered the academy. A timid, shy, quiet girl with no backbone?"

" That about sums it up", Naruto answered this time.

"...Probably going to mean more paperwork", she sighed as her shoulders slumped. Then she spied the rings on both their fingers.

" On another note, with a little work, I can get the marriage annulled so you can go your seperate ways. Then we can sort out what we're going to do with this timid Sakura". Tsunade supplied.

Naruto looked at Sakura to see aprehension, pleading, and sadness in her eyes. What was she trying to say? He pretty much knew.

" I think that would be Sakura's and My decision whether we wish to divorce Tsunade-sama. After all, we ARE husband and wife and I know that the Hokage can't even intervene in that.", Naruto stated much to Tsunade's shock. Jiraiya smiled at this.

" He's right Hime. Any and all marriages can only be annulled by the couple themselves in Fire country, which is law under the Fire Temples AND the Daimyo. You know that. " , he chuckled.

A vein popped on Tsunade's head.

" You WANT to be married to Sakura? You hated her guts not 7 hours ago! And this one is nothing like the one that I had as a student. You said it yourself. She's timid, shy and quiet!", Tsunade proclaimed harshly in frustration, which did nothing for Sakura's demeanor as she seemed to shrink in on herself. Yet it was her husband that came to her rescue as a determined glare met Tsunade's

" You're right. And thank god she isn't. I can finally get to know the kind, gentle girl I became infatuated with back in the academy, and I'm sure as hell not going to let ANYONE take that chance away. Yes, I hated her, and then I found out that hate was based solely at a demon inside her that has been pulled out, so there's no reason for me to hate her. And so what if she's shy and timid, so is Hinata, yet EVERYBODY felt indebted in getting me to return HER feelings since the academy.", her argued. Tsunade was thrown for a loop. So he knew the entire time?

" Why didn't you ever go after Hinata?", Jiraiya asked. Even he knew.

" It's kinda hard to even talk to her when she keeps freezing up and fainting. So, in all, she's TOO timid and shy, to the point of it being debilitating. Sakura on the other hand, has enough that it's cute yet workable", he supplied. Jiraiya agreed with a sagely nod. He knew his women. He had made his sensei proud.

Tsunade sighed in frustration, " Alright gaki, I am going to give you a half an hour alone to figure out what you two want. If you two choose to stay together, I'm sure as hell going to make sure it's for the rest of your lives!", she threatened, then dragged Jiraiya out of the room much to his protest.

Naruto sighed and made himself comfortable right next to Sakura in the bed, which ellicited a blush from her.

" Thank you", she stated quietly, yet Naruto heard it.

" Don't thank me yet. We still have 28 minutes. As much as my bravado tried to shine, I'm kinda confused right now. This morning if I saw your face I wanted to punch it...now...do you have to be so complicated?", Naruto whined, causing heavy guilt to play across Sakura's face, which made him feel guilty as well. Time to change the subject. "You don't really want me to be your husband do you?" he asked, causing Sakura to look at him.

" I do!", she proclaimed a little loudly, shocking her.

"Oh? Why would you want to still be married to me?", he asked in amusement.

She was quiet for a while as she gathered her thoughts. " Back in the Academy, I envied your confidence, well, before I was possesed by...that. And as much as I looked like I hated your antics, there were alot of them that I wanted to laugh at, but...well..you know. And all the adventures I hear you went on, and all the people you've befriended. I wanted that...I want that. Even all the faults that I "found" in you are nowhere to be seen. In fact... you're more of the image I kept chasing in Sasuke than he ever was...or will be. After all, there was only that one time during team formations that he ever even complimented me..."

" You mean you never figured out?" Naruto cut in. Sakura looked at him with confusion as a coy smile played across his face. Sakura caught on.

" That was you?", she asked in disbelief. Though it made sense. If he could convincingly henge himself into a naked female version of himself, he could pull off a Sasuke no problem. She chuckled sadly to herself, " Then he's never complimented me. In a way...that makes me feel better, even after wasting years of..."us"...chasing him."

"Sakura-"

"And then there's everything you've done for me", she cut him off. " How many times have you saved me, picked me off the ground when " it" wouldn't, helped me get stronger, helped me try to get someone I should...I should have written off years ago, back? And yet I've done nothing except the exact opposite for you. I owe you more than I could ever repay in my lifetime...I-I know I don't deserve you, but I WANT to be Uzumaki Sakura...", she proclaimed as fresh tears graced her features.

Naruto was quiet, his lips pursed as he stared into Sakura's pleading eyes. Damn, it tore at his heart. But he was still Naruto...well the Neo Naruto...naw that sounds corny...Naruto Reborn...too cliche. Meh, he was still Naruto, so his answer came in a Narutoish way.

" Do you want to repay all that you owe in one go?", he asked with an undercurrent of mishief.

" W-what? How?", Sakura asked in surprise.

" It's a secret until you agree. And after that, you can't refuse.", he said with seriousness in his eyes, " after which, we forget all past sins and look to the future, TOGETHER", he emphasised.

It took only seconds for Sakura to come to a conlusion, " HAI! Anything!", she exclaimed with every drop of determination she could scrape up.

Naruto nodded, " Alright! We're going to have a baby".

Sakura's face was frozen in the determined features until she spoke, " Eh?"

"Yup"

"W-when?¡"

" Now"

"NOW?¡", she cried out with a look of horror.

"Yes we are", he stated as he pulled as he stood up and started taking his clothes off, leaving Sakura blushing like a tomato as he finished.

" B-but to bring a child into the world right after everything's that happened would be careless!", she squeaked.

" You're forgetting the obligatory "9 month waiting period" Hime. And I already devoted myself to having a child quickly after everything is said and done. Even though the intended partner changed, I'm still devoted to it. So, Hime...", He got up close to her ear.

" I'm going to pump you full of my hot seed and make you a mommy.", he breathed, causing a shudder to roll up her spine. Maybe it was Naruto's idea of cementing the relationship, or some other symbolic meaning...Sakura was too swept up in "pump", " hot seed", and "mommy" to think that far.

" B-but we don't even have that much time! Tsunade will be back in 18 minutes!", she reasoned, until she saw Naruto's mischevious smirk.

"Oh"

"Hope you don't mind a small amount of exhibition Sakura-chan. After all, we have to give her a deffinitive answer", he said with a chuckle.

Sakura was redder than before, yet a smirk was trying to get passed her frozen lips. Naruto knew he was going to like this Sakura.

"W-what do you want me to do?", she stuttered.

" Nothing this time, I'll do all the work, and you can participate more when we take our honeymoon somewhere else", he asnwered as he pulled her to her feet, which she stood a little unsurely on. Then he undid whatever clothes she had left on and then the hospital gown, leaving her small breasts and pink pubic mound for him to see.

" S-sorry. T-there not that big", Sakura said sadly regarding her breasts, but Naruto didn't care in the least.

" All breasts have their perks Sakura-chan. Big ones have many uses but can be a pain in the shoulders. While yours are small-" he cut off as he bent down and took a nipple into his mouth and sucked. Sakura's entire chest exploded into pleasure, causing gasps from her as even her diaphram twitched from the massage Naruto's tounge was doing over her now hard nipples as he moved from one to the next. It felt like her breasts were having their own orgasm as her breath became even more raspy.

" They are very sensitive", he finished after Sakura's pants started to even off, then he crouched in front of her pelvis. " Besides, when they start lactating, they'll get bigger. Until then, THIS makes up for it ten fold", he proclaimed as his thumbs found purchase on the sides of her pink pubic hair covered pussy, before pulling her lips apart, letting him look at her "inner" beauty. He looked up at Sakura with a devious smile as her breathing became heavy and butterflies made their presence known in her stomach.

" I dreamed about doing this for years Sakura-chan", was the only warning he gave before coupling his mouth to her pussy and started probing. The gasp Sakura let out completely filled her lungs as she stared wideeyed at the wall in front of her.

*With Tsunade*

Their time was up, so she walked back to the room. Hopefully, they had reached a logical decision. As much as both of them had changed, she doubted they could learn to love eachother after all they've been through, whether it was from other influences or not.

"You know they're going to stick together, don't you?", Jiraiya piped in behind her. He got rid of the tether on their rings so why was he following her everywhere? As much as she "resigned" herself to the fact he was now her husband, she didn't need him constantly with her.

" How the hell would you know?", she retorted in annoyance.

" Hime, while you've done a good job of understanding the human body and all it's workings, you know dittly squat about how human emotions work", he answered.

She stopped and whipped around on her heels. "Oh? And you do Dr. Love? I didn't know being a pervert made you an expert on that!"

Jiraiya gave her a knowing smirk, " Tsunade, I have traveled across almost every single mile of these lands, and I'll admit, that I have had alot of sex, perversion, and other things along the way, paid for or worked for. I have seen every type of female in every type of emotion imaginable, and I've seen them play across the faces of men, young and old, trying to win the hearts of said women.", he lectured.

She did have to give him that. "And what's your "expert conclusion?", she humored.

" Sakura eyes were pleading for Naruto not to leave her, and Naruto looked happy, or even determined, to oblige her. You know how stubborn he can be. I doubt much of that has left him in his new look on life.", he stated seriously.

" But everything she has done to him-"

" You're holding a grudge against the wrong thing Tsunade. You're going to have to get used to the fact that your student, and the actual Sakura, are not the same people...or in this matter, entities. Besides, Naruto has seen first hand what demons can do to people. Gaara. Yakumo. Sora. Himself. And now, a girl I've heard a hell of an amount too much since I started training him, Sakura. He's found out that all the negative things about Sakura were pulled out with a demon, and now he has the same girl cowering and pleading him to stay with her. A girl who now shares a very exclusive connection to him. You KNOW what he's going to do." he downed her argument before it even fully formed.

Tsunade couldn't find any fault in what he said. What the hell was it with Namikaze's being suckers for women in need? " ...Do you always have to be right?", she sighed.

Jiraiya shook his head, " Trust me, I've made my share of mistakes in my time...and now I apparently have thirty more years tacked on to make more just like you, thanks to a certain brat. The point is that you learn from them, and move on. Don't let them eat you up again. Our students have aparently learned that, so should we".

Tsunade was quiet before she put a kiss on the surprised Sanin's lips. " You're going to make a great father".

Jiraiya's suprise turned into a smile, " I'm sure we'll both make good parents".

Tsunade smiled in return as she looked at the floor. "So, if they stay together?"

" We support their decision to whatever end", Jiraiya answered.

"...and if they decide to part?"

"They won't", he said with mirth.

" I wish I had your confidence".

" You could always get a demon-"

" Oh har har!...What the heck is that?" she changed subjects as she heard muffled screaming coming from the room ahead of them. All of them had muffling seals to help patients rest without hearing too much noise, though, they worked in reverse as well, letting Tsunade and Jiraiya hear what sounded like Sakura getting murdered.

" Maybe I was wrong", Jiraiya said nervously as they ran to the door, yet the noises started sounding less like death cries and more like...female grunting. Tsunade didn't have that level of experience though as she flung open the door.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YO-", she stopped and gawked.

"OH GOD OH GOD AH AH AH AH!", Sakura screamed, her arms clenched to her chest and her body in a reverse cowboy as Naruto bucked into her physically picking her off the bed and slamming his 8 inches into her in the same thrust, which Tsunade could see PERFECTLY cause they moved the damn bed to face the door!

She ducked out of the door frame, " DAMMIT GAKI! COULDN'T YOU HAVE THOUGHT OF A MORE SUBTLE ANSWER?¡", she roared as she tried to drown out the cries of pleasure. Jiraiya was too busy doing a happy dance.

" Woo! Way to go Gaki! That's 129 couples accurately predicted! Damn straight I'm Dr. Love! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"IKU IKU IKU IKU NARU NARU NARU AAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!¡", Sakura screamed in exctasy as she went over the edge, hot streams of cum filling her up to the brim and over.

*5 minutes later*

Tsunade glared at the couple, dressed up in bedsheets as they stared back. Jiraiya was looking at Naruto with visible pride and...was that a tear in his eye?

Naruto cleared his throat as Sakura fidgeted under the glare.

" After a..._thorough_...discussion...we have happily decided to remain husband and wife"

" YOU WANNA TELL ME SOMETHING ELSE CAPTAIN OBVIOUS?¡". Tsunade bellowed.

Naruto perked up, " Yes actually. We decided we want you to be the godparents".

Both Tsunade and Jiraiya went wideeyed and their mouths gaped. They were already conceiving a child?¡ Naruto crossed his arms and nodded with finality, and Sakura blushed, yet smiled as she put her head on Naruto's shoulder.

It was Jiraiya that recovered first, " Just don't get yourselves killed RIGHT AFTER he or she's born, and I'd be happy to...though couldn't you have waited a LITTLE while to conceive a child? Especially a time when the proclaimed godparents weren't WATCHING?"

Sakura blushed like a tomato, yet Naruto chuckled deeply.

" Today the whole shinobi population was put against eachother to battle for marital partners, Four senior citizens were put back into their twenties and fourties thanks to me, I've seen men catching women, women catching men, I was coupled to a girl that I hated, then fought, then berated, then almost helped commit suicide, then pulled a demon out of to find the girl that I LOVE. Why not make it a little crazier by pounding her into pregnancy as our pseudo parents walk in?".

Jiraiya chuckled as well, "Ever the Uzumaki huh Naruto?".

" Of course! Though, I expect a "brother or sister" sometime soon", Naruto hinted.

Jiraiya caught the drift. "Indeed!", he proclaimed before picking up Tsunade, jarring her from the shock she was frozen in.

" Na-nanda? Where are you taking me Jiraiya?¡", she cried out, slung over his back.

" Our Honeymoon Hime! I have decades of affection to show you afterall!", he proclaimed with an evil laugh as he ran down the hall.

" Ahieeeee!", she cried in a very Shizune way as they disappeared into the distance. With that, Naruto and Sakura were alone. He looked down at her, still resting her head on his shoulder, then rested his on hers.

" We still have to tell YOUR parents Sakura-chan." he stated. She seemed to shudder.

" I'm not very close to them anymore, and I know they didn't like you at all. Can't we just forget them?", she replied quietly. It was beautiful how soft and angelic her voice could be when she wasn't snipping out insults or roaring for the heavens to hear.

" You might as well burn the bridge now rather than later Hime", he asnwered. Hime. She liked that. It made her feel precious to him.

He felt her nod, " It can wait for a little while though. Until then...y-you said something about there being more "times?", she asked shyly.

Naruto smirked, " I did, didn't I?", before he gave her her clothes and they both dressed.

Naruto froze after getting dressed, " How the hell could I forget that?¡".

Sakura looked at him with confusion, " What did you forgeMM-", she was cut off as Naruto took her into his arms and stole her lips with his. The surprise on her face was cute as hell, but when she accepted his kiss, the serenity on her face was even more endearing. After a while, he withdrew and locked his crystal blue eyes with her emerald green. The emotions running through their eyes held none of the malic, anger, spite, or any other emotion they felt towards eachother that morning. Instead, it was affection, comfort, and the love that was thought never to be.

" I want you to be my wife, Uzumaki Sakura", he stated with conviction.

" I do as well...pl-please take care of me", she replied.

" I intend to...and our family", he said with an honest smile. " Which we should get back to making", he finished causing Sakura to blush.

" Let's take this to my apartment. There's stuff there that we should try out", he claimed as he picked her up bridal style and carried her out the door, popping a clone beforehand to get rid of the pot.

"Ahieee", Sakura mock cried as they...he walked out of the room.

* Timeskip*

Sakura walked down the dusty street, her 4 year old son mock marched in front of her as she looked at the list of things she still needed to buy. So many things had happened to Sakura after that fateful day. It just so happened the first was that their answer to Tsunade, actually did result in their first child, Kushina, who was 10 now, and going through the Academy.

*At the Academy*

Iruka gave a hard stare down at the two girls who were playing hooky to harass the populous of Konoha. While he would love to just automatically know it was Kushina's fault, Reiko, HIS OWN DAUGHTER, was JUST as bad. He sighed.

" Reiko, what would your mother say about this?" he tried chiding the girl.

"Umm..."When in doubt...party time?"

Fingers met scarred bridge of nose. He had to concede to that, because that's EXACTLY what Anko would say. He looked to the redhead for a better example.

" _Okayyy_, what would YOUR mother say Kushina?"

Kushina looked thoughtful before nodding. " Tickle his whiskers, and once he starts purring, he'll forget everything".

Iruka facefaulted, " Just go back to your seats and stay there!", he exhasperated on the ground.

" Causing trouble again Hothead? Honestly are you even a girl or just a gender confused boy?", a black haired boy sniped at her as she walked up the steps.

Angry green eyes bore into pupiless blue for only a fraction of a second before Kushina was behind in and pulling at his face.

" You're one to talk femboy! Let's give you some wrinkles so people can tell!", she hollered as they both got into a fight, with Reiko cheering them on.

Iruka slumped. This was the third time this week Rai and Kushina were fighting, and it was only Tuesday! He hated to admit it, but he was getting too old for this shit. Maybe it was time to look at the rank of Jounin.

*Back with Sakura*

After their honeymoon, Sakura had the displeasure of telling her "parents" about everything. Burned the bridge alright, more like exploded. They barely let Naruto in, and when they found out what happened, they were absolutely livid. The things they said sparked Naruto and even Sakura to fight back. In the end, they disowned her completely and told them to both get out of their house. When they did so, Naruto turned back to level a threatening glare at them.

" You made your decision. But know this. If I ever hear about either you disparaging our marriage or trying to sour people's opinions of us, WHEN I become the leader of this village, I will see to it that you are forcibly ripped out of your precious house, and thrown out the gates with NOTHING except the clothes on your backs. I hope you live happy knowing you have no child, because I sure as hell will when our childeren have two better people than you to call grandparents. " With that, he left with Sakura with a shushin.

Apparently it sparked something in them, because from what she heard, they moved out of Konoha completely a month after. She never heard from them again. Not that she cared.

After that, apparently Tsunade took whatever Jiraiya said to her to heart, because she called for Sakura a couple days after

*BlashFack*

Sakura knocked on the giant wooden doors that, even a week ago, she was used to going through daily. Now, she hadn't even seen her former master since the hospital.

"Enter"

Sakura did so, quietly shuffling up to the desk.

" You wanted to see me Hokage-sama?", Sakura asked quietly.

"Yes Sakura. I just wanted to see how things are going with you two", Tsunade supplied gesturing to the chair in front of the desk, to which Sakura obliged.

"Um, alright, but wouldn't you want to talk to Naruto-kun instead?", Sakura asked unsurely, causing Tsunade's eyebrow to quirk.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well...we didn't really leave this office on amicable terms the last time I was here Hokage-sama", Sakura supplied while looking away.

Tsunade sighed, " We didn't, did we? I'd love to hold my anger against you still, but with what has happened and my husband's advice, it would be cruel and childish of me to." she stated as she wrapped her hand around the tea mug that sat in front of her, " I'd like to get to know the real Haru...Uzumaki..Sakura", she corrected herself before taking a drink from the mug, " Especially if I'm going to be the godmother whenever you acually get around to having the child."

A light, yet playful smirk came across Sakura's face, " 8 months 26 days...err, give or take a week", she supplied.

Tsuande's eyebrows practically flew off her head, " You mean that stunt actually..." she trailed off as Sakrua gave her a sheepish peace sign.

Tsunade pinched her nose," How the hell did Naruto even talk you into doing that?", she whined.

Thus started their conversation about the new couple's last week, from the edited version of the honeymoon, to the fiasco with her ex-parents, to moving in with Naruto and the subsequent decision that the whole apartment complex needed a heavy overhaul, since it had been abandoned after the landlord died in the Sand/Sound invasion over 4 years ago...to which Tsunade gave them the deed for it as a wedding present, much to Sakura's shock. Then came a heavy subject.

" I know that I stripped you of your apprenticeship Sakura, but, I would like to have you back", Tsunade said with a little discomfort.

Sakura was just as uncomfortable, because Naruto and she had this conversation the other day, when Naruto offered to "help" Tsunade reconsider taking her back.

"I'm grateful for your offer Tsunade-sama. I'm aslo grateful for everything you taught me, but...I have to decline", she replied, much to Tsunade's shock and sadness. As much as it pained her to admit it, Sakura had the potential to surpass her completely, something, regrettably, Shizune lacked.

" I see...is there any particular reason?", Tsunade asked with a bit of uneveness in her voice.

"M-mostly my newfound goals. I want to be a jounin, and then hopefully take on a team. To do that, I need to be more rounded in my skills. After all...while most of the things I said to Naruto were made up...what he said back was true. I didn't do alot in my last battles. I know a medic nin isn't supposed to fight...but I don't want to watch from the sidelines anymore, I've been doing that the whole time.", she reflected as she looked at the floor. She still felt...useless.

Tsunade could see the picture. It's not like Naruto has needed a medic on the field all that much considering his rapid regeneration. And the only offensive skills Tsunade had was her personal summons, her strength, and the Creation Rebirth and all it's counterparts, which Tsunade hadn't even taught to Shizune due to it's consequences, and personally, she didn't want to use them anymore either. She was knocked down to 24, why the hell would she want to speed up the process of aging AGAIN? If it didn't kill her, Jiraiya sure as hell would. But getting back to the point...Tsunade found herself with nothing of the offensive role that she could teach the girl. Maybe they both needed to train more.

" You're right. We do need to round out our skills", Sakura, heard from in front of her...but...it couldn't have been her former master that said that. She looked up in surprise to see Tsunade staring at the desk as she fiddled with her mug.

"I am?", Sakura squeaked in surprise.

" I haven't done well in my latest fights either Sakura. All I have to fall back on you already know, or cause as much harm to the user as good...When Pain attacked, even with Katsuyu healing everyone, people were dropping like flies...If Naruto hadn't convinced Nagato to revive everybody...", she left of with a shudder before getting up and looking out towards the village, " So go do whatever you need to do, you have a while to do it afterall, but at six months, no more missions until well after the birth. I better see results though-", she stated sternly until she turned and promptly tackled in a hug by a tearful Sakura.

" Thank you so much. Y-you've been more of a mother to me than my real one ever did", the girl mumbled into a shocked Tsunade's shoulder, who slowly reciprocated.

"Y-you're putting a little too much credit in me aren't you?", Tsunade argued unconvincingly.

" No", Sakura replied as she looked up at Tsunade with conviction. " You've shown me more patience and understanding than my real parents ever had. Your child is going to be lucky to have you as a mother".

Tsunade looked surprised, " Who told you I was pregnant?"

Sakura let go of Tsunade and pointed at the desk, " You're drinking tea instead of Sake".

"Observant as ever...Well, I won't keep you any longer. I'm sure you have other things to do than keep an old lady company", Tsunade said, sitting down and taking a drink of her tea.

" You're only 8 years older than me", Sakura teased with a smile.

"Ah-...right", Tsunade concured with a look of realization.

" So. Next time I see you, maybe we can go clothes shopping. Ja Ne.", Sakura spoke as she walked out the door.

Tsunade's eyebrows rose, " Clothes? What the hell is wrong with what I'm wearing now?".

" Other than the fact that it looks like pajamas a 50 year old woman would wear around? Nothing much", Jiraiya quipped from the window, which he had to evacuate to dodge the incoming projectiles as Tsunade made violent hissing noises.

*Blackfash end*

Both Sakura and Tsunade sought out people to teach/help them. Tsunade went to her husband after she stopped trying to kill him (Was he always that slippery?). Sakura went to hers as well, not as much for training, but for suggestions, since Naruto's techniques would flatline her instantly if she tried using them. They both agreed that Kurenai would be a bad choice at the time, even though Sakura was hoping to get into Genjutsu, since she had just lost her baby during term and was not as...sociable..as she once used to be. Going to her peers was out instantly since most were from clans and the ones that weren't were very..eccentric *cough*GaiLee*cough*, and Kakashi was busy restoring his father's home after knocking up the Anbu commander. All in all they were left with one for the time being. Anko.

Anko was surprisingly accepting of what happened during the hunt. Maybe because she was in too good a mood after catching Iruka and getting knocked up just like virtually every kunoichi in Konoha. And since they both had a reprieve from service while their husbands were bringing in income, Anko agreed to help her with only a few stipulations.

Model or fit items for customers...

Tend to..."The store"

Yeah

It was awkward...especially when she saw faces she knew...

Like modeling a catsuit for Kakashi (though they were both uncomfortable)

Or fitting Hinata into a dominatrix uniform (damn her large breasts!)

Or when Sakura demonstrated how certain sets of nipple clamps worked...to Tsunade (they were both embarassed as hell)

It didn't help that her work uniform varied as well (and started a whole new line of items for pregnant women as she started to bulge)...from her perspective at least. Her meekness was dulled the longer she worked there, and she never realized it until Naruto brought it up...when she came home in her current uniform...which made him pounce on her like a cat on a mouse.

The training she received during that time made up for the embarassement though. She couldn't do much with taijutsu in the end, but she had started to make it more complex than lunges with her fist drawn back or axe kicks. Most of the jutsu Anko had revolved around the snakes that, after Orochimaru's "death" and Kabuto not possesing the contract, she was the sole summoner of, and wanted to keep it that way...until Sakura signed it after guilt tripping Anko into it. Having to demonstrate to Moegi how to roll a condom down a penis with her mouth helped alot with that feat.

After 9 months, both their babies had enough being jounced around inside their mothers from jutsu training, cause they both practically went into labor at the same time, Sakura first, then Anko just before she had gotten Sakura into the hospital. Luckily the nurses were already prepared since the maternity ward had more patients than all the other wards combined, with most of the poor nurses sporting bulges as well.

Naruto found out that day that Sakura, at certain times, could still be super scary. Being in labor was aparently one of those times. It took the Kyuubi's chakra just to stay in the damn room and by the end, even the fox had to shudder at that visage.

Anko...well...the hospital scrubbed down the whole room after she gave birth. Not that she killed anyone but more of a physical reaction to the foreign toungue she spoke that felt like it would summon hell itself into the room...especially when the lights mysteriously burst. That redheaded sound girl had NOTHING on Anko. Iruka went through a whole box of q-tips after that, mumbling about black ooze coming out of his ears.

Thus Kushina and Reiko were let loose on the world...heh. She was sure half of Konoha hated her and Anko for doing that. Aparently, Kushina was as loud and brash as the grandmother in which she got her name, and Reiko was every bit her mother except for her darker skin tone.

They both spent another year after that getting rid of the "baby fat"...and kankles *shudder*, through sparring and immersing herself in the taijutsu she had to leave off earlier. Though, through their training together, they had found friendship, Anko didn't have much else to teach Sakura, as she was an infiltration and assasination specialist, and any other jutsu she had were fire, while Sakura had found out she was a water affinity. Thus the student outgrew the sensei's means once again, though Anko begged Sakura to keep working at her store since profits had gone up 200 percent with her. Sakura reluctantly agreed since it was a good paycheck.

With over a year passed since The Hunt/ The Day Konoha Went Mad, Sakura still wanting to get into genjutsu, she sought out Kurenai. It was obvious after the first meeting, that leaving her alone had been a bad decision. She was worse than when Naruto went to get Tsunade after the Suna/Oto Invasion.

Her first request, she was literally told to piss off.

She tried getting help from Team 8 and 10, but aparently she had shut herself off from them as well. Anko hadn't seen her since Asuma's death, and not even Asuma's nephew Konohamaru had talked to her since he was alive. Two more attempts saw an equal rejection and a glass of tea thrown in her face. She knew Naruto was good at getting people to come around...but he wasn't good at the genjutsu that she had to pull him out of 3 hours after he had gone to try. Sakura's determination just grew. If not to get training, than to get the once kind woman out of the pit of despair she was digging herself. Countless tries and countless forms of refusal later, Sakura thought she had finally gained some ground.

*kcabhsalF*

" FINE! You want to learn genjutsu? Meet me at Training ground 8 at 5pm tommorow.", Kurenai barked before getting up from the dango stand and leaving.

'Success! Wait. Naruto's on patrol all day tommorow and Anko is on leave with Iruka. Who am I going to leave Kushina with?...I'll have to bring her with. It shouldn't be too much of a problem.' Sakura mused as she bit her thumb.

*The next day*

Sakura arived early and rested Kushina's basket underneath a tree as she waited for 5 o'clock to roll around. During that time, she contemplated what Kurenai would teach her.

When 5 o'clock rolled around, Kurenai showed up, but Sakura was weary of the presence around her, and the fake smile she had on.

"So you want to learn about Genjutsu", Kurenai started.

Sakura gave an unsure nod, " H-hai". Before she even realized it, she was trapped in a heavy genjutsu.

" There! You're LEARNING about them! Serves you right for bugging me all the damn time", Kurenai growled out as she glared down at the glassy eyed chunin. With that, she started out of the training field, heard the gurgle of Kushina, stopped for a second, then just kept walking.

*2 hours later*

Sakura finally managed to break out of the genjutsu, it had to be the most complicated construct she had ever had the displeasure of experiencing, especially wiht the things it showed her. The first thing she noticed was the droning of something in the background as her hearing started to come back to life. The second was there was water pouring down onto her face. Did Naruto find her and put her in the shower? No, the water was cold, and hitting everypart of her body. Then, there was the ground underneath her. Wet, mudy ground. It came to her hazzy mind that she must still be in the training ground, and that it was raining.

Raining?

Green eyes shot open wide as their owner's brain instantly went aler, her hearing returning to hear the drones from before turn clear. Into an infant's wails.

Kushina.

She flailed around in the mud until she managed to pick herself up and run to the tree that she had left the infant, her heart in her throat. She dropped beside the basket to find it entirely drenched along with Kushina, who was wailing from being cold and drenched only to be interupted with a dreaded coughing fit. Sakura's emotions ran rampant. Until one dominated above all other.

Rage.

She popped a shadow clone (one of the only jutsus Naruto could teach her after he reserves went up) and it scooped up the baby and ran towards home, already knowing what to do. Sakura on the other hand, looked towards another part of town with a face that would scare Tsunade herself.

*With Kurenai*

She sat at the same dango restaraunt that she was in before, listening to the rain that just fouled her mood even more. 'Stupid pink haired brat. She thought if she acted like that idiot husband of hers, she would get her way. Maybe she'll learn to leave people alo-'

Kurenai's thoughts were halted when snakes wrapped around her and pulled her THROUGH the door of the restaraunt and into a waiting fist. The power behind it sent her flying straight back at the training grounds as she flew, fazed by what was probably a concussion and a now well broken jaw.

Her landing was just as much of a pain as she plowed into the muddy ground of the training field turning her into a complete mess. Before she even had time to regain herself, snakes wrapped around her once again and dragged her to a nearby tree and wrapped around it.

As Kurenai finally gained her bearings, she saw a shadowy figure walking towards her in the darkness. The snakes that wrapped around her lead to the left sleeve of the black trenchcoat the figure wore, the "snake slack" retracting into it as they walked towards her. It was a bolt of lightning in the distance that finally let Kurenai see who it was, and she wet her pants when she saw the look on her face.

" So that's what you want to do huh? Brood like a fucking Uchiha and shut out the world because YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S SUFFERED!..." Sakura growled as she grabbed Kurenai by her muddy hair and forced her to look Sakura straight in her cold green eyes. " LET THE SKILLS YOU USED TO SO PRIDEFULLY CLAIM DIE OUT BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE...", Sakura continued as Kurenai felt waves of killing intent roll off the girl, making excrement meet her piss soaked panties.

"Your team still thinks of you as a kind and caring woman...BUT ALL I'VE SEEN IS A SPITEFUL MONSTER WHO WOULD LEAVE A BABY OUT IN THE RAIN AND GO ON IT'S MERRY LITTLE FUCKING WAY!¡" Sakura roared. Four anbu who had seen what was happening and came to break it up, stopped their approach right after that and then walked away after a few moments. Kurenai got the message loud and clear. She deserved everything she got.

" So you know what? Keep you're fucking _art_. Gloom and doom yourself into depression until you're an old, spiteful, decrepit hag that has no future, no friends, and no family. Tsunade already knows why Kushina has pneumonia. So if she doesn't manage to make your life a living hell, I sure as hell will if Kushina doesn't survive. Oh yes, I will seal you with the same jutsu as Naruto's prisoner, and when we both end up in the shinigami's stomach, I will enjoy beating on your ass for the rest of eternity", Sakura growled gutterally, then uncoiled the snakes from Kurenai with a satisfying thump as the woman hit the ground, then walked away back to her home.

Kurenai laid in the mud, shivering to herself as everything that Sakura had said, played through her mind. She had no illusion that what she had done was no less than barbaric, or that Sakura's threat was an idle one. Was that rain running down her cheeks...no.

*Flashback end*

Luckily, with Tsunade's help, they both made sure Kushina pulled through in the couple days following. It didn't stop Tsunade from demoting Kurenai to a chunin or the glares she received from her peers for what she had done. Sakura never went back to her. It was up to Kurenai, which happened a week after.

*Flshbck*

Sakura was minding the Kinky Kunai with Naruto watching Kushina for any problems that may resurface. Right now she was wondering if Anko was joking her. Her new uniform was a white latex parody of a civilian nurse outfit with white, platform, thighhigh boots instead of the regular pantyhose and sandals. It even came with white latex panties with a cross right where her unmentionable was, and a zipper down it soo her...OOH! That Anko. Where the hell did she get this getup?

*ding*

Sakura looked up at the door to see the woman that she had thoroughly whooped that night. Sakura's greeting died in her throat that instant, as she glared at the woman that approached her in a submissive manner.

" Do you want something?", Sakura managed to speak out her teeth while holding her anger at bay.

Kurenai silently looked towards the floor until she spoke up, her voice a shell of what it used to be, " Your daughter is alright...isn't she?".

Sakura looked like she was trying to glare a hole through Kurenai's head, " Yes, no thanks to you. So I'm not going to rip your soul out any time soon".

" I..see...I'm glad she's alright", Kurenai whispered as her shoulders slumped.

" If that's all then-"

"No! It isnt...what I did was something no human should have done...especially one that was trying to be a mother...I want...I need to make up for what I did"

"..."

" Please. I'll teach you everything. I'll write all of my techniques down and you can copyright them if you want. Anything!", Kurenai pleaded as she prostrated herself in front of Sakura.

Sakura stared Kurenai's grovelling form for close to a minute and then she got a very selfish, evil idea. But it suit Sakura's anger towards the woman.

" You will be my slave for the next two months. During which, you will teach me genjutsu and do ANYTHING I tell you to", Sakura ordered to the prostrate woman.

Kurenai looked up in shock. Who knows what Sakura would do to her. But even with the possible outcomes, it was a chance of redemption.

"H-hai" Kurenai agreed.

" Good. First off, you're going to move into my house for the duration of those two months. Secondly..." she left off as she walked around the counter and into the store. She started taking outfits off hooks and the accessories to go with them. Once she had a good pile she picked up where she left off.

"..these will be your new wardrobe. You will wear the ones that won't get you arrested for exposure in public, and the other ones you will wear around the house."

Kurenai gawked at them. Maid uniforms, corsets, catsuits, anything in leather or latex was there along with boots and other things. Half of them were breastless, assless, crotchless or made to become that way with the pull of a zipper or buttons. Sakura kept going.

" Thirdly, you're going to be working here with me, where you will do what I have to do. And Fourth, right before the end, I am going to do something very evil to you, that will change your future forever. After that, I will see to it that you are forgiven. ".

"A-arigatou.."

"Sakura-sama", Sakura ordered

"A-ar-igatou..Sakura-sama",

Sakura nodded. " Good, now strip out of those clothes an put this one on while I close the store".

10 minutes later found the store closed and Kurenai in a leather china dress complete with high heels, shackles and a collar as she tried to keep her legs under the folds. Sakura would have none of that as she clipped a leash to the collar and pulled her out the door as she had a clone pick up the rest of Kurenai's new wardrobe.

*flashback end*

Those were deffinitely and interesting two months. Hell, the first thing that she made Kurenai do when they got home, was give Naruto a blowjob. She loved the look on his face.

During those two months Sakura gained an extraordinary proficiency with genjutsu. Kurenai was absolutely astounded by the girl's imagination, especially since she didn't have much of one when she observed Sakura in the academy.

Kurenai wasn't the no nonsense femenist "Ice Queen" she was either, most likely due to the constant hands on exposure to both Naruto's and Sakura's ministrations. They had spanked her, bound her, fucked her, flushed her, hell, any kinky verb they could put in front of "her", they did. Her work in the store was good as well, with both Sakura and Kurenai there, profits went through the roof. But, alas, all good things must come to an end.

*Cashback*

Kurenai was bent over a padded sawhorse, her arms and legs shackled to the legs, and a strap across her lower back fastening her to the top. She was dressed in a "cowgirl" outfit, complete with a tail that was shoved into her ass via buttplug. She looked back fearfully, her nose pierced with a ring for the occasion as Sakura came out of the shadows in a "cowgirl" outfit, complete with crotchless black leather chaps, leaving her pink tuft and pussy open for display.

" Don't look so glum Kure-dorei, your punishment is almost up and then you can go back to your life...AH", Sakura mock remembered as she lightly palmed one gloved fist into a waiting gloved hand. " That's right. We have that last little stipulation of the agreement", Sakura added with a sickening smile. With that, she picked up something that made Kurenai pale considerably and whimper into her bit gag.

It was a horse cock. A rubber strapon horsecock. Sakura's pussy disappeared under the monster as Sakura started strapping it to herself. With a few firm pulls of the straps, it was finally harnessed to her and bobbing up and down due to the length. Sakura walked around to Kurenai's front to show her the monster that was as thick as her arm and almost just as long.

" And that stipulation is...I'm going to ram this in your little cow cunt-", she cut off as she strapped a contraption with a jar full of white fluid on the belt of the strapon, and then attached it via tubed to the dildo that could now be seen to have a tube where the urethra would be, " -and gonna impregnate you with a calf!", she finished with cheerfulness, yet Kurenai couldn't reciprocate as she started thrashing on the sawhorse with reckless abandon, incoherent things being screamed past her bitted teeth. Sakura yanked one of her pierced nipples with a smile and walked back around to Kurenai's rear while greasing up her temporary cock.

She dabbed some into Kurenai's pussy as the woman still tried fruitlessly to get away. She then lined it up and shoved as hard as she could. Kurenai wasn't tight, not after everyting they had done to her, but they had never stretched her out this far, so her reaction was obvious.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!¡!¡",

Sakura continually pulled back and pumped hard into her, elliciting more torturous howls from the woman as blood started mixing in with the lube. Her howls of pain kept up as Sakura's thrusts went faster, still hitting the poor woman in the cervix and only allowing half the monster inside her. Sakura was feeling it to thanks to the reverse attachements so when she finally hit the peak, she rammed as much into the woman as she could and turned on the contraption, shooting fresh cum into Kurenai and out.

Sakura pulled out to the end to let the cavern be filled with seed before pulling out with an audible *pop* and zipping up the crotch of the costume to let it sit in there. She threw the fluid package that she had gotten the semen from on the ground and did a quick patchup on the woman's pussy while Kurenai was still bawling her eyes out. When the woman looked, she would see something interesting.

Konoha Shinobi Sperm Bank

Clan: Sarutobi

Given Name: Asuma

With how many fertility drugs she had discretely given the woman in the past month, she better get pregnant or it was a lost cause. With that in mind, Sakura walked out of the room...the giant dildo flapping with every step...which freaked the fuck out of Naruto big time.

*End of BackCash*

Oh yeah, Kurenai got pregnant alright. She is the only person in Konoha HISTORY know to have given birth to fraternal quadruplets. They deffinitely broke the mold... quite literally actually. It was touch and go for a while but with Sakura as Kurenai's round the clock doctor and her, Shizune, and Tsunade helping deliver, both the babies and the mother survived, at the cost of Kurenais womb. She didn't care much, considering she just gave birth to more than she had ever anticipated in her entire life, she was happy. Her demeanour changed in life, and while she was still quiet, she was more lax and cheerful, which helped when she had made amends with everybody that she had done wrong to in her dark times.

Sakura thought that, after everything she had done to Kurenai, the woman would absolutely hate her guts. So she was surprised that, after those two months, the woman had punched her, giving her a black eye, then thanked her profusely while hugging her. They actually became friends. Since Naruto was field promoted to chunin, they all took the Jonin exams together, and all passed. That is, after Kurenai's birth and sequential burning of baby fat.

After that, Sakura life felt like it flew.

She had a team

Her husband took on a team

She trained her team into good chunin

She watched her husband's surviving two turn into great chunin

She comforted her husband

She had a son, who was now four

She watched both teams turn into jounin

She took on another team

She coaxed her husband into taking another team

She watched both teams turn into chunin

She became an elite jounin, a relevant bingo book entry, right up there with her husband

She watched her husbad become Hokage

She helped him "inagurate" his desk

She helped a little too much and they had a surprise...which was now into the second trimester

And now here she was, on one of the few off days that coincided with Naruto's, gathering groceries for dinner. Sakura could cook up a storm, Naruto figured out that you just have to keep any "extra ingredients" away from her as she did, and it tasted great. She conceded that fact.

It was as she was looking at that list, that the wind picked up and blew it out of her hands.

" Ah!", she cried as it flew away...and slapped into Ino's face perfectly, who came out to water the window boxes at the flower shop.

"Oi! Trying to kill me by suffocating me with your grocery list Sakura?", the blonde griped as she peeled the list off her face.

" That's impossible Ino-chan...your mouth is too big", Sakura finished with a fox-like smile at her quip.

" Coming from the girl that can fit her HUSBAND'S fist in her mouth", Ino fired back.

" AH-Curse that Anko! She said she wouldn't tell!", Sakura stomped when she heard Ino talk about the bet they had while out drinking.

"Get some liquor in her and she'll tell you her love life...if you actually wanted to know", Ino proclaimed.

Sakura and Ino started a conversation, which quickly pulled them both into the store with little Minato in tow.

*Back at the academy*

Iruka came back into the classroom after talking to the new teacher down the hall

" Sorry for the waiiiiiiiiiiiiii...t", he drawled off as he noticed three quarters of his class was missing.

He looked to Inoichi for clarity, and the raven haired boy was too happy to comply.

" Hothead and Peacock rallied their minions again", he supplied with a smirk

Iruka's mouth was open with a look of horror on his face. That could only mean one thing.

" CODE PRANK! CODE PRANK!", he screamed down the halls all the way to the Hokage office.

*At the Hokage's Office*

"Ah, you sweet, suculent little thing you. You want daddy to ravish you don't you. Well get ready cau- *SLAM*

"NARUTO!..."

Iruka stared at the visage of Naruto kneeling on the desk...getting ready to lick...a bowl of Ramen...*FLASH* Ah, he's standing up

"What's the matter that you needed to address to me so bad that you interupted me during lunch?", Naruto growled out his teeth as he smiled at Iruka.

"What...OH! CODE PRANK!".

Naruto took on the same look of horror. Just like his mother had nothing on him, he had NOTHING on his daughter, especially with Iruka's daughter, but a code prank means they rousted their "minions" as well, like the Senjus, InuHyugas, Hatake, Akimichi, and various other parts of their brood...gang...aww fuck it was an army.

His response was cool and collected.

*Back with Sakura*

"So, how's the pregnancy coming along?", Ino asked as Minato played with temporary flower water flutes (you know the ones, plastic, water a single flower, stab into styrofoam with a stake at the end) by throwing them like kunai into the side of an empty box.

" It's not that bad. After having two, this one has been a breeze" Sakura replied as she rubbed her belly, which had blown up for the thrid time in her life.

" I bet. Yume's was tons easier than Inoichi's, and I remember what Kushina's was like", Ino said with a shudder, which made Sakura chuckle.

" Her's was a definite pain, much like herself. Speaking of which, I'm surprised it's been so quie-"

" Attention All Konoha civilians and shinobi...CODE PRANK! CODE PRANK! TO YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! ANBU ON FULL ALERT. LOCK ALL WINDOWS AND DOORS! DON'T PANIC!¡!"

Sirens started going off and the pops and rumbles of paint bombs and loose deer herds were heard. Anbu was scrambling and already taking casualties from the looks outside the window, until a shaving cream bomb went off, covering the window and the entire side of the shop with it.

"Uuugh! Not again!", Ino whined as Sakura hysterically chuckled

"Yeah...I'm pretty sure half...if not 90 percent of Konoha hates me for conceiving", Sakura stated.

Minato just went back to making the Konoha symbol in the side of the box with the plastic flower flutes.

Damn that was long. After I started writing the timeskip, I just couldn't stop. Most of the others...might not have...as long of a timeskip...maybe.


	7. Cameras

" Good luck with that!", Naruto yelled as the "not man" and his new wife rounded a corner. He could hear obscenities being directed towards him until they finally faded away. With a chuckle, Naruto continued on his way through the village. He felt his mood lighten a bit as he turned right at a T-section in the road.

That good mood turned into curiosity as he walked up to a bush with a blonde ponytail.

He quirked an eyebrow at it, " Ino, what the hell are you hiding from?"

"Giku!", she eeped before bursting out of the bush-

" waah!"

-and pulling Naruto in with her. Her arm wrapped around his neck and her free hand covered his mouth.

" Quiet!", she harshly whispered.

'Who is she hiding from?' he thought. He didn't have to wait too long to find out.

"Ino? Aww come on Ino, you know I'll never find someone else!", the distinct voice of Chouji broke through the bush from the road Naruto had been pulled from. He felt Ino tense up as the chubby ninja search high and low for her before he went off to look elsewhere. Ino relaxed and her hand slid away from Naruto's mouth.

" Hiding from Chouji's handles of love?", Naruto drawled at Ino.

" Don't give me that! He's a nice guy, and I could probably get past the weight issue. But I've known him for so long that it would be like marrying my brother!", she complained.

"Really...and how..in your little happy world...was I a better option?", Naruto deadpanned as he stared up at Ino.

She looked at him confused for a few seconds, until she realized what she had done. Her eyes went wide with shock and then doubled as she looked at her ring finger, which was now occupied. She burst out of the bush to see the Anbu that had banded them writing on his ledger.

" WAIT! It was an accident! I didn't mean to catch him!", she yelled.

The Anbu looked back, " Well, your little "accident" netted me 750 ryou, and you a husband! MWAHAHAHAHAA!¡", the Anbu cackled as he threw a smoke bomb down and disappeared into the cloud.

"GAHK! That's just what I need! To be married to the only other blonde in Konoha!", Ino griped.

" I know right? Our children are doomed honey, DOOMED!", Naruto, mock cried.

" Don't honey me baka!",

" Why not? OH! You must prefer Hime, UZUMAKI Ino".

" Who says I'm taking your name?¡"

" I'm sure as hell not going to be Yamanaka Naruto. Sounds too Hawaiian"

" It suits you fine Surfer Boy!"

" The hell it does Valley Girl!"

" OOH! You did NOT just say that!"

"I'm pretty sure I did!"

" I'm gonna *GROWL*"

"Pfft, I can growl better than that*GROWL*...uh, see?"

"..."

"..."

"**I'm hungry**" they both stated.

* Fifteen minutes later and a disappointed Chouji*

" Here you go, lovebirds.", Ayame teased as she handed the bowls of ramen off to the blondes. She recieved twitching eyes in response.

"Not that I don't like ramen, but this is TECHNICALLY supposed to be our honeymoon. Couldn't you have taken us somewhere more, oh I don't know, ROMANTIC?", Ino griped. Even Ayame had to give her that.

"Why Ino, a honeymoon is TECHNICALLY only to consumate the marriage. But if you're so eager for me to use my tounge on you instead of this ramen, I'd be happy to take you back to my apartment right now. I have so many things there that was meant for my inteded target, that we'd be busy until Sunrise". he fired back with intent to cause blush. It did what he wanted as both Ino and Ayame went cherry red.

Unfortunately Ino was quick to recover.

" HA! Until Sunrise! I'd probably just be sticky and disappointed!"

" HAHA! I'd have my tounge so far up your pussy you'd be signing Carmen! Beat that!"

" Oh yeah?¡ Well I'd suck you off so damn good you'd have to pull the sheets out of your ass!"

" I'd tweak your nipples so damn good, you'd be picking up Iwa radio stations!"

" I'd rub you off so damn well with my tits that your hand would be jealous!"

" I'd pound your pussy so well our childeren will have a limp!..."

"..."

They looked down at their cooling ramen. Ayame was trying to keep her blood in her head, and Teuchi was catatonic near the stove in back.

The reality of the situation caught up with them.

"We're really married aren't we?", Ino asked as she fiddled with the ring on her finger.

" Yeah we are. We're going to make a terrible couple aren't we?", Naruto asked in response.

" Actually I think you two are the cutest couple I've seen all day", Ayame piped up after stuffing tissue into her nose.

They both looked at her incredulously, " **You're kidding me right?**"

Ayame shook her head, despite her dizziness. " You two are two of a kind actually. You're so much alike that if Ino drew lines on her face, I'd be convinced she was a female Naruto, and vise versa."

The two looked at eachother. " **I don't see it**"

"Then there's the way you synch up audibly with eachother", she said with a twitching eye.

" **No we don't. Stop that! You're the one doing it! No, you are! No, you are!**"

" Then there's the way you two bicker like an old married couple anyways!", Ayame exclaimed in annoyance. That caused both of them to stop and blush.

" So eat your food, and then actually talk to one another, NOT ARGUE. Talk. Cause, like you said, you two are married to eachother", Ayame advised, then went back to dragging her father into the back to rest until he regained conciousness.

They both stayed quiet as they broke their chopsticks and started eating the ramen in front of them. Even though it wasn't hot, it still tasted good, especially to their empty stomachs.

Once they were finished , they sat in silence for a while, Ayame taking the bowls after coming back from the back room. Then, Naruto turned his stool and looked at Ino head to toe.

Ino started to fidget under the attention. " What?", she half huffed, half nervously asked.

" Just getting a good look at my wife. We haven't really seen eachother much. Hell, the only time we had a mission where it was just the two of us was when we helped Princess Fuku-"

"Ugh! Don't remind me. That had to be the worst mission I've ever been on. ", Ino groaned, especially when Naruto basically peed on her.

" It was? I was sure you'd have ones worse than that.", Naruto lightly complained. Ino quirked an eyebrow.

" Oh? Coming from personal experience? What was your worst mission?", she pried.

Naruto looked thougfull, " Official or unofficial?", he asked for clarity.

Ino looked at him surprised before answering, " Umm, unofficial".

Naruto smirked before telling her about the incident with Jiraiya and the Courier Ninjas.

* A while later*

Ino was busting up laughing and Naruto was explaining the end in mirth.

" so 596-03 managed to deliver the damn thing even after the Harem Jutsu, and come to find out, the Daimyo was a fan of Jiraiya's work. So he thought it was a gift from the Daimyo of the Land of Claws! We actually stop a war from happening, and Jiraiya complains all the way back home about how my writting could be mistaken for one of his "masterpieces".", Naruto finished while Ino looked about ready to collapse from asphyxiation.

It was another two minutes before she could compose herself.

" The image of you two chasing after courier ninjas is the funniest thing I've ever heard, and using the Rasengan as a method of propulsion?", Ino managed to get out before she started laughing again.

It was another good minute before she came back to the land of the sane.

" I have plenty more where those came from. Like the time Lee opened a dojo, the time we tried to unmask Kakashi, or EVERYBODY remembers the Onbaa", he replied with a smirk.

"Oh I remember alright. That was a pain in the back...especially when she started growing heavier than me", Ino shivered. The day all those Onbaa became independent is a day that has been ordered an S-class secret by Tsunade, who was one of the few actually strong enough to Sumo wrestle hers.

" Oh yeah, when Jiraiya came in for a quick update with Tsunade, he was rubbing it in her face that he was right. Apparently they made a bet on it. He didn't tell me what it was, but I swear to god he was struting out the damn gates the next morning".

" Oh come on! I didn't need the image of people three times my age doing something nasty!", Ino complianed.

" You do know they're both 24 again, don't you?", he asked, knowing she didn't.

Ino's eyes widened, " Wh-WHAT? HOW?".

Naruto pointed at himself, " I was going after Tsunade, so I left the village for a couple days, found Orochimaru's hideout, stole an age regression formula, and came back. But when I was going to hit Tsunade with it, she was already taken by Jiraiya, so I threw it down in anger and enveloped them both in it...got the Sandaime's advisors too, so I think they're back in their 40's again".

"YOU? Were going after Tsunade-sama?", She asked for redundant clarity, totally missing the questions as to HOW Naruto knew Orochimaru even HAD an age regression formula.

"Yeah. Why not? She deserved a chance just like anyone else and I wanted to give her that chance...well, now it's Jiraiya's job..he better not mess it up. What about you?", Naruto asked ponting at Ino.

"What about me?"

" Who were you after?", he clarified. Ino looked away with a blush.

" Who says I was after anyone?"

Naruto's brow quirked, " You must have been after someone because you would have hid in your parent's house if you weren't", he cornered her perfectly.

" Umm...Sai", she admitted after a while.

" Sai doesn't have much of a personality Ino. Why go after him?", he asked. He really didn't, and Naruto knew that. Neither did any of the other ninja that popped out of the literal ground after Danzo's death. Anbu went nuts thinking they were under attack. Luckily Sai was still around to tell everyone who they were.

" So? I'm sure I could have given him one after a while, and at least he shows off some eye candy unlike you Baggy Boy", she huffed.

Naruto's eyebrows rose until he grinned mischeviously. Without warning, he grabbed the bottom of his orange and black shirt and pulled it up above his head, leaving his entire upper body uncovered for Ino to see. She came to a conclussion in that instant.

Naruto had more eye candy than Sai did for sure. She continued on this track as she blushed pure red and turned her head away from the topless Naruto.

He got up when she did and walked behind her before wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pressing himself into her back.

It was a warm day in Konoha, so Ino could feel the sheen of sweat on him stick his skin to hers and the body heat emanating off of him, could smell his sent as it invaded her personal space, hear his breath coincide with his chest which pushed on her back with every breath. Ino's felt like her face was on fire and she was getting dizzy.

" I think I'm at least a one up from Sai"

"H-h-how so?", she stuttered.

" I can make you laugh"

" Y-you can also make me angry"

" But Sai can do that too"

" ...y-yeah..."

" And what about you?"

"W-what?"

"What makes you a one up from Tsunade?"

"I...I don't know..."

" Sure you do... just think about it", He replied in the low voice he had been using, sending vibrations from his chest into Ino's skin. She didn't want to admit it...but she liked what he was doing...which is why she hadn't protested.

" I...don't hit you for everything?"

" That's a good start..."

" ...Umm..."

" He can make you blush like a schoolgirl-", Ayame started, " And yet just earlier you were holding your own when you two were arguing about sex", she finished, causing Naruto to blush as well.

" Uh...yeah..that too-"

"And you both like to garden", Ayame cut him off, telling his little secret knowing full well what would happen.

Ino looked wideyed and looked up at Naruto, " YOU DO?"

Naruto took on a sheepish look as he looked down on the inverted suprise face of Ino, " Uh, yeah, I have a hobby garden back at home, peppers, flowers, herbs, stuff like tha-"

He was cut off as Ino spun around and jump hugged him, " EEEE! If we weren't a couple already we sure as hell are now! You don't know how hard it is to find a guy that likes gardening! My parents are gonna love you!...AH", realization struck as she looked up at Naruto's bewildered expression. She did a complete 180 in a little over a half an hour. But then he supposed he was guilty of that as well as he looked at her.

" We need to go tell them", she stated as she stared into his eyes with a serious expression.

" They don't care about my furry little friend do they?", he asked, to which Ino shook her head.

" No. Not even before you became a hero.",

" Oh..good. Well, then let's go tell them", Naruto agreed. They both turned back to Ayame.

" **Ja Ne Ayame-chan**", they synched after paying and walking off.

Ayame waited a minute to pass by before she took a deep breath, " THANK GOD. I thought they would never leave", she signed. It may seem cruel but dammit, not only did they embarass the hell out of her, but they also made her HORNY! Things went silent as she glared out into the streets, the only sound breaking it was the arguing of a genin kunoichi who was folded over the shoulder of a shinobi who was old enough to be her jounin instructor, a bush hanging uselessly in her hand that she had probably clung to.

"...Fuck it", she concluded with determination as she reached under the counter and pulled out a headband with a line under the Konoha leaf. After pulling off her handkerchief and tying the headband in it's place, she took a deep shaky breath and jumped out of the ramen stand and into the warzone of The Hunt.

* Back at the Hokage Tower*

" Oh?" Tsunade piped up as she read the incoming reports.

Jiraya took interest as well as he urged her to go on from underneath Tsunade, " What caught your interest, Hime?".

" Apparently Naruto got snagged by Yamanaka Ino", Tsunade replied back as she shifted in his lap to show him.

Jiraiya chuckled, " The blonde girl you were training? Oh no, Konoha will never be quiet again once they have kids", Jiraiya joked.

Both of them laughed...and then groaned. It would have been funnier if it was just a joke. It was more...dark humor. At least the foreboding was lifted when Shizune burst back into the room... carrying Kotestu...who didn't look like he minded at all.

" Thanks for the ride honey"

" Oh, don't you honey me you sneaky little-"

" Shizune? *Snort* You got caught by Kotetsu?", Tsunade tried and failed to hold in her laughter, which peeved Shizune as she dropped him to the ground.

" Oi! He snuck up on me while I was evading Ebisu! At least I didn't get caught 2 minutes after this whole thing started!", Shizune fired back, which caused Tsunade's laughter to choke up.

" Err...Why did you come in here anyways?", Tsunade pouted.

" Hmm?...OH! They're going after Academy students!", she warned.

" What?¡", Tsunade yelled in apaul. Jiraiya, getting the gist of it, decided to clarify for her.

" They're shinobi academy students, Hime. Technically that is under the rule of " any ninja regardless of STATUS", he informed.

" Still that's horrible! Shinobi going after girls that young-"

" Umm. Actually what I was seeing more of was actually Kunoichi going after boys...though there were instances of the former as well but the later was...umm... more prominent", Kotetsu supplied for Shizune who was nodding with zeal.

Tsunade went wideeyed, " So...like cougars?".

" Going after boys not even out of the Academy yet!", Shizune exclaimed with her hands held wide.

" That's even worse! That's like...Shotacon Cougars!", Tsunade exclaimed as she shot up off Jiraiya's lap, much to his disappointment.

" Well we're going to fix that right now!", Tsunade exclaimed as she walked over to the P.A. system, everyone in the room watching her, and clicked it on.

" Attention all Academy staff and students...ABANDON THE ACADEMY!¡ FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!¡"

Jiraiya, Kotetsu, and Shizune all facefaulted and started choking on their own spit.

* with Naruto and Ino, halfway to the Yamanaka residence*

They stared disbelievingly at the speaker that came to life and shouted...that.

" Do we even want to know WHY?", Naruto asked the speaker.

" Let's just pretend we didn't hear that and go on our way", Ino forced out with a shudder before grabbing Naruto's hand and dragging him away from the speaker he was still staring at.

* At the Academy*

" Now kids! I'm sure the Hokage was...joking!", he tried shouting over the screaming kids who were running every which way.

*BAM* UMINO IRUKAAA!", A figure shouted from the top of a giant snake that had just taken out a part of his classroom wall. " HERE COMES..THE BRIDE!¡!", they shouted twistedly as they jumped off the snake to reveal...that it was Anko.

Iruka started screaming as loud as the children, but not as loud as the ones he picked up and threw at Anko to slow her down...which she dodged...with some of them colliding into fellow classmates of the opposite gender and getting banded by the Anbu that flocked to the academy for the occasion, warning Iruka that he was fucked.

" I've got 12 contignecy plans for this kind of event Anko!", he roared as he threw down a smoke bomb and disappeared.

Anko licked her lips, " Good Iruka-kun, I'd hate for this to be easy! Let the game begin!", she shouted as she went after him.

In retrospect, it would have probably been a better idea to just keep the students in the building.

170 children swarmed out of the academy

They were so disorganised some of them tripped over eachother and became banded

Others had oposite gender friends that clung to them in distress and became banded

Others had fangirls...this became a problem since they seemed to figure out what was happening and went after their "beloveds" all at the same time, creating dogpiles, with the anbu confused about who caught who first.

Others were easy prey for the Lolicon Sugardaddies and Shotacon Cougars hiding everywhere, waiting for something like this to happen.

Yes, hindsight was 20/20, and that hindsight blatantly yelled that Tsunade meant for this to happen.

Noone would know for sure.

* In another part of the village*

"I...never knew you felt that way", a blushing Ayame stuttered out as she stared at the ground.

" I-I have since I saw you at the academy, I'm just kind of...sort of...err",

" Shy?", Ayame supplied for Izumo who was scratching the back of his head in nervousness.

" Y-yeah. It took all of my willpower just to do it", he admitted. "It", was him walking slowly up to Ayame with a half a dozen hesitations, while she sat there patiently looking at him with curiosity, until he finally...meekly grabbed the sleeve of her shirt.

The Anbu's parting words were " Took you long enough casanova! Maybe we can expect kids from you two in fifty years?". What a douche.

Any further conversation they were going to have was cut off as a boy that couldn't be more than 10 ran past screaming his head off. A second later a Kunoichi who looked to be old enough to have kids of her own, appeared onto the street, " Don't worry little Toyo-kun, I won't gobble you up too fast. I'm going to enjoy you like a succulent desert hehehehe", she finished with a half lucid, perveted giggle as she...pranced...off after the boy.

Ayame's and Izumo's faces were frozen in horror.

"W-we need to tell the Hokage!", Ayame urged.

" Attention all Academy staff and students...ABANDON THE ACADEMY! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!¡", came over the P.A.

"N-nevermind", Ayame slumped while listening to both Kotetsu and Shizune argue with Tsunade over the P.A. They could hear crashes and screams coming from the general direction of the Academy already...and Iruka just ran past missing his shirt...and Anko just ran past swinging Iruka's missing shirt in the air while cackling evilly.

*Back with the blondes*

" Tadaima", Ino proclaimed nervously. Even though she knew her parents would approve, it was still kinda awkward.

"Okaeri Ino", She heard her mother respond from the kitchen. Ino shuffled towards the kitchen with Naruto in tow.

Yamanaka Kaori gave alot of her looks to her daughter, except for her eyes, which were a very deep green, so when she turned around from the lunch she was cooking up, Naruto could have mistaken her for a short haired Ino.

" Did you ca-...ohhh? Who do we have here?", Kaori asked with a coy smile as she spied a fidgeting Naruto behind Ino. She didn't fail to notice the rings on their fingers.

" Umm. This is Uzumaki Naruto...my uh...husband", Ino answered as Naruto stood front and center and bowed. Kaori knew who he was. What Ino never told Naruto was how many times Ino's mother had poked at Ino about the boy, but Ino had her heart on the Uchiha survivor, who, Kaori could tell from a glance, was gay. Kaori was relieved when she switch to Sai, but this was even better.

" Ah Ino. You go out to find a pale skinned black hair boy, and end up dragging a tanned blonde back", she mock chastized, while in her head she was dancing. She couldn't keep the grin off her face.

" Uh, yeah...it was kind of an accident", Ino replied as she fiddled with her skirt.

Kaori pulled out a couple seats from the table, " Well sit down, and we can discuss over tea, how this "accident" happened. Your father will be home later."

*10 minutes later*

Naruto was kind of nervous. Not because of how he was married to Kaori's daughter, no, that ice was broken when she had asked how they met

*Rashhack*

Ino opened her mouth to respond to her mother, but Naruto got there first.

" We met at the hospital when I had a mind opening injury"

Ino looked at him with confusion

" I was having troubles moving around so Ino had to catheter me"

"What?¡", Ino cried

" It was both our first time but Ino was gentle and understanding, while I braced for the penetration"

"That's not what happened!", she yelled as she tried stomping on one of his feet repeatedly.

" By the time she got it in and we looked at eachother, we knew it was love at first sight"

Ino was punching Naruto in the arm while yelling at him, and Kaori was having trouble breathing from how hard she was laughing.

*Hashtrack end*

No, his nervousness was how Kaori got up after their explanation, and started examining him. Pulling his arm straight out, pinching his muscle groups, tracing his jawline, staring into his irises, examining his palms, tracing his back, and she was still going 5 minutes later. He didn't blush much, but he had a damn good reason right now to.

" Umm, may I ask WHAT...y-you're doing Yamanaka-san", he spoke, jumping in volume when she groped his ass.

" Please call me Kaori...Kaa-san works even better heehee", she teased, elluding the whole question as she started down his legs. Damn could this woman make him LIVE awkward.

" Mom! Honestly! Can you not do this with EVERY boy I bring home?", she started, knowing full well what her mother was doing. She had done it twice before with boys she brought home. " Especially since I'm already married to him!".

" Oh relax honey. I'm not going to steal your hunk of man. Let a mother pry a bit."

" PrYY into what exACtly", Naruto jumped when she started getting a little too inquisitive. Ino just blushed and tried to hide her face from what was happening.

Kaori got up in front of Naruto and gave him a smirk he only ever saw on Ino's face, " Why to see how cute, and strong, my granchildren are going to be!", she answered eagerly.

"uh...guh", was all Naruto could say as he gawked at her. Ino wanted to crawl under a rock.

Kaori went back to her chair and sat down. She took a sip of her tea before dropping the big one, " After all, Look how Minato's and Kushina's child turned out, and you're not even in your twenties yet. I can only hope the same for my grandkids".

Ino's head shot up and stared wideyed at her mother, Naruto doing the exact same.

"H-how did you know?", Naruto mumbled, which Kaori scoffed at.

" Please Naruto. I was helping Kushina through her mood swings all the way to the day before you were born. Let's just say this. If your father lived through that night, he probably would have had his tubes tied to make sure it never happened again. It doesn't hurt that I was one of her friends since the Academy", she said with a blunt retrospect that made her shiver.

" Minato...you mean Namikaze Minato...as in the Yondaime...is Naruto's father?", Ino mumbled in awe.

" Yup!", Kaori chirped, " which means you're Namikaze Uzumaki Ino!".

"...Why didn't you tell me?¡", she complained, pointing accusingly at Naruto.

" Oi! We only got married 2 hours ago, And it's kind of a big secret to reveal. I'm not just going to up and say, " Oh we're married. You know my father was the Yellow Flash. And just to lay it all out, my mother was the only known survivor of a clan that was closely tied to the Senjus".

" How closely?", Ino pried.

" The Shodaime's wife was his great great aunt".

The newlyweds both stared wideeyed at Kaori while she sipped at her tea. She didn't notice it until she set the mug back down.

" What? Your mother and I were friends remember? Just like Mikoto was. Except I had the daughter!", she gave off a very cheshire like grin as she gave them the peace sign.

" So that's why you were pushing me towards him", Ino accused.

" You were?", Naruto piped in but neither woman listened.

" What are you complaining about? He's 100 times better than the gay Uchiha boy you tried going after", Kaoru deffended.

" He's not gay", Ino replied stubbornly.

" ***snort* Yes he is**", Both Kaori and Naruto retorted in unison, which threw Ino for a loop.

" *sigh* Whatever. Come on Naruto. You're going to tell me EVERYTHING, and away from Mom", she peered at the woman giving her a knowing smirk as her daughter grabbed Naruto's hand and drug him out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

" Yes Ino, you should take him up into your bedroom...try for a girl first!", Kaori called after them.

" MOM!", she heard shouted back, to which she chuckled and rested back into her chair, " Kushina, we've gone and doomed Konoha...hooray for us!", she whispered before squeeing quietly.

*In Ino's room*

"...Wow", Ino mumbled out. When she told him to spill everything, she wasn't expecting him to give her the WHOLE story of his life.

" Yeah", Naruto replied as he sat beside her on her bed.

"...do you hate them?", Ino asked after a long stretch of silence.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, " Hate who?".

" The villagers, the Sandaime, hell, your father."

" Oh...not at all", he stated. Ino looked at him incredulously.

" Your father sealed a bijuu in you, the Sandaime kept your parents identities from you and from being adopted by any of the clans, the villagers treated you like the diseased!", she yelled in frustration.

" Well, what would you have done?", he asked as if to prove a point.

" I would have killed everyone that even sneered at me!", Ino said, angering herself with the image.

" Killed mothers daughters, sons, fathers, siblings? Just because of one subject that they didn't agree on? Most of them aren't evil people Ino. Just misguided fools. In the end, I pranked them, mingled with them, and deffended them. They're not stupid, they figured out I wasn't going go on a rampage and kill everyone. Then I deffended them during two major invasions. It's kinda hard to hate someone who battles a 200 story tall Tanuki made of sand, or defeat and convince the enemy to revive everyone that they killed. As for the Sandaime, I know what he was doing. Iwa would have slit my throat the minute they learned of me, and Kumo would have loved to get their hands on the child of the Uzumaki they tried kindapping. As for adoption into the clans, well, you know clan politics and such, powerplays, social stigma, status quo...plus I don't think I would have fit in too well with any of them. It would be like the Aburame taking in an Inuzuka." he snorted at that idea, imagining Kiba living with Shino and his parents.

"...and what about your father?", Ino asked quietly as she stewed over what he said.

" My father did the right thing. He entrusted me to the same job my mother had.." Ino's eyes widened as he continued.

"...keeping it contained, and to use it to protect everyone close to me, and he did it at a high price, his wife passed on, never getting to see his son grow up, see his grandchildren...I couldn't do that...", he looked at her with seriousness.

" I will never let my children grow up orphans. I don't care if I have to pull myself straight out of hell and make the Shinigami my bitch, I'll do it."

Ino looked bewildered into his eyes. His proclaimations of Hokagehood held nothing to that statement. Statement hell, it was a downright ultimatum to the universe. It sent a buzz down Ino's back. Then he grabbed her hand.

" And you're going to help me", he said with conviction.

'Oh right', Ino remembered, ' Married'.

" So you mean OUR children", she corrected with a blush. God, they were already talking about kids? Well, that's what usually came after marriage...DAMMIT now she had that stupid fucking rhyme stuck in her head!

" Indeed. Well, we have plenty of time to talk later, but, as you reminded me earlier, this IS our honeymoon", he replied as he stood before her. She couldn't help but get nervous, which didn't get past Naruto's attention.

" Why, Namikaze Ino, don't tell me this is your first time", he said with mock astonishment, which spurred Ino to deffend.

" Of course not! I've done it before!", she argued unconvincingly. Naruto smirked.

" Then you should have plenty of sexy little nothings to hardly wear...INYOURCLOSET!", he blurbed out loudley as he dashed to her closet, with her going into a pale horror.

" DON'T OPEN THAT!", she screamed as she jumped after him.

Too late.

Naruto was gawking at what she had in her closet. No it wasn't a porn store's worth of toys, it wasn't a shrine to Sasuke, it wasn't even a twenty foot deep walk in closet filled with shoes.

It was costumes...

Dozens of them.

"C-cosplay?", he said in surprise. He blinked and then looked at Ino, who looked like she wanted to disappear.

" I,they'renotmine, Imean, oldhaloweencostumes!", she rambled for an excuse while Naruto picked out what was obviously a Sailor Luna outfit...in her size.

" Funny, they look like they would fit you nicely Ino", he stated.

"No! I mean...guh!", she looked ready to cry, so Naruto gave her a break.

" Can I see you in it?", he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Ino stared at him like he had just put on the costume himself. " Y-you want me to..."

" You look just like her. I think you would look sexy in it", He said with intent in his eyes. Ino caught on quick. Not only didn't he care about her hobby, he wanted to.."indulge" in it.

Ino nervously took the outfit, " S-sure. I'll go..change in the bathroom", she replied meekly, walking towards her adjoining bathroom.

"Don't wear anything under it", Naruto added, causing Ino to twitch before continuing towards the bathroom.

*5 minutes later*

Ino stood in front of the bathroom mirror in a nervous sweat. Her platinum blonde hair was up in the two distinct bun/pigtails. The costume was made for some form of concealing padding to be worn in the right places, so without it, the nipples at the end of her C-cups stuck out distinctly in the already stretched fabric, and she had a distinct outline of her pussy that the damn skirt did nothing to hide. With the elbow gloves, boots, and tiara as well, she...looked like a very risque Sailor Luna.

With a deep breath, she turned around and opened the door to see something that shocked her.

Where the hell did Naruto get a Nega-General costume?

" Where did you get that?", Ino inquired, forgetting her nervousness.

" I just henged into it, but since my version of henge is solid..", he paused as he wrapped his cape over the front of him, his eyes peering out over the top of it.

" I am you opponent Sailor Luna, the dreaded General Azurite!", he proclaimed. Ino had to wonder how he knew the characters, but let it go as she got into the skit.

" How dare you show your evil face in my base! Whatever your after, you'll have to get through me first!"

"Oh but Sailor Luna, it's you and all of your lustful energies that I am after, and I came ready for a fight!", Naruto proclaimed as he flipped open the cape and took the general Badass stance, Ino doing the same.

"...Dance?"

" Dance"

With that they jumped at eachother.

*With Kaori*

She looked up at the ceiing. It was awfully quiet up there. Were they even _trying_ to give her a grandchild?

Her musings were pushed aside as Inoichi came through the door...well...more like burst through the door and slammed it closed by pressing up against it, his clothes mangled and breathing hard.

" How was your day honey?", Kaori chirped from the kitchen table. Inochi stared at her like she was psychotic.

" My day? Kaori, I just got jumped by a quarter of our NON graduating class, even though I'm already married!", he cried with a high pitch voice.

' Ah, all his old fangirls. Poor bitches' Kaori mentally smirked at fond memories before replying. " Well at least you came back to me in one piece dear. Honestly, what a bunch of foolish girls, it's not like Anbu would have banded them with you".

"Doesn't mean they can't use the chaos to abduct me and chain me in their basement", Inoichi countered with eyes of horrific contemplation.

Kaori had to give him that, " T-true...come on Inoichi, just sit down and I'll get you a nice cup of tea", she said as she looked out the window. She could see them out there, hiding with the skill of academy flunkies, some even in her yard. She looked over to a valve and turned it on, activating the front yard sprinklers. She heard cries of displeasure and cursing, causing her to smirk as she walked over to the stove to make a cup of tea for **HER HUSBAND, **who had just sat down with a groan into his chair.

A while later, Inoichi was sipping off the tea, calming down from the near death experience. Why the hell had he helped approve this fiasco? Oh right, it was making Konoha..."stronger". Well those kunoichi and shinobi who breached T&I were pretty damn strong already. He had seen many things in his life. Terrible things. But watching Ibiki scream like a little girl with 4 kunoichi hot on his tail was something he would remember into the afterlife. Apparently the man, despite his reputation, had somehow found himself with fangirls who liked his...approach..on things. Fangirls came in many forms. Well those came in the form of two Jonin and two Anbu. He didn't want to delve further into the dynamics of WHY, especially after his fangirls followed Ibiki's in. It went downhill from there.

Speaking of this clusterfuck-

"Where's Ino?", he asked with worry.

Kaori smiled at him across the table, " She's upstairs..."

Inoichi sighed in relief

"-with her husband"

Inoichi's sigh kept going with new meaning as his shoulders slumped.

"It's not someone twice her age is it?", he groaned.

" Of course not dear. In fact, SHE caught HIM", she answered with a giddy smile.

Inoichi looked at her in confusion. It couldn't be the Uchiha, he had left years ago and was flaming gay. Was it-

" Shikamaru or Chouji?", he asked in hope. Kaori gave him a deadpan glare. ' Obviously no. Damn'.

"Is it that Sai kid?", he asked with no enthusiasm. That kid had problems, the same problems he has been trying to help the rest of his ilk recover from.

This time, Kaori smirked, " Nope. I'll give you a hint. Blonde hair and blue eyes are going to be a dominant trait in any granchildren we get."

Blonde hair, blue eyes? There were only so many blondes in Konoha and only one that was Ino's age. So unless Kumo was invading... and most likely retreating after seeing the madness...that meant-

" Naruto? Ino's never showed any outward interest in him", Inoichi reasoned.

" Oh come on Inoichi. They're practically twins and love to annoy eachother. I even found out Naruto gardens!", she said as she clapped her hands together and squeezed them to the side of her cheek in adoration.

Inoichi sweatdropped. He knew his wife's hopes for the two getting together, While he was a definite upgrade from Sai, Inoichi couldn't say he was absolutely thrilled about Naruto and Ino getting together either BECAUSE their personalities were so alike.

Then, they could hear muffled shouts upstairs, and the the rumbles of physical fighting.

"Oh dear, they're not fighting already are they?", Kaori worried as she looked at Inoichi.

" Better go stop them before they get vicious", Inoichi justified as he made his way upstairs, his wife shuffling behind him in worry.

*In Ino's room*

Naruto was surprised that Ino was just as good an actor as he was. It must be a blonde thing. The mock fight was filled with moves and dodges that were flashy, risque, and had no business in a real fight...but damn did it look good, especially when Ino did a vertical split kick that revealed just enough...

And then Ino took off her tiara and threw it at his head with the same power as a shuriken, which knocked him to the ground fast.

Before he knew it, Ino was smirking down at him, then he watched as she moved the crotch portion of the suit over, revealing her perfect little folds, before she crouched over Naruto and sat on his face, taking his arms into the back of her knees and locking them in place between her folded legs.

" I got you pinned now Azurite! Surrender or suffer a humiliating defeat!".she proclaimed as she started rubbing herself into Naruto's face,

If Naruto wasn't a man...no...if Naruto wasn't human...still not enough...if Naruto wasn't a being with reproductive organs, he might have complained. But instead he had caught Ino's scent. It wasn't hard, it was being rubbed in his face. The heat, the softness, the scent, it was all making him feel lightheaded. It was purely intoxicating as he sucked it through his nose as best he could under Ino. Then he felt his pants go down, his member being pulled out and stroked with her latex glove encased hand. All the sensations were turning on more primitive urges as he felt himself harden under Ino's ministrations while she continued to ride his face MUCH to his pleasure.

And this is how Ino's parents found the couple.

Inoichi was a jounin, so he had opened the door almost silently, hoping to gain some insight into what they were fighting about. Instead he finds Ino over by her bed...straddling Naruto's face with nothing in between, and stroking him off while in some wierd costume. Kaori looked on with childish joy.

" Ha, so you're succumbing to me. It's about time you learn your place Nega-scum!"

Nega-scum? Oh that did it. Naruto's desires doubled as he decided to pull out his secret weapon.

He had henged something else as well.

" Twwmm cmmm pwyy mt thmmm gmmmm"

He aimed for Ino's pussy, and shoved every inch of his elongated tounge into her.

She gasped and shot up, freeing Naruto's arms, which locked around her thighs and pulled her back into his face.

" Y-you beast!", Ino cried as she felt the appendage writhe and squirm even up to her cervix.

"Khnnnkhnnkhnn", was his only reply as he pushe her into a doggystyle position and kept up, his pinky tweaking her asshole every now and then, causing her to jump.

Kaori had pulled Inoichi away from the door at...some point, the two younger blondes too wrapped up in their activities to notice the arrival OR the departure.

Inoichi was still trying to process what the hell he just saw as his wife started speaking.

" Umm, it's obvious they're not.."fighting" fighting, and with Naruto's stamina, they might be "up to it" for a while, so maybe we should go rent a hotel room for the night to give them some privacy".

That shook Inoichi out of his thoughts, " What? Why? Aren't THEY supposed to be the ones renting a hotel?", he argued in frustration.

" W-waiGH-GUH!". they heard Ino cry.

" Aha! So you WERE a virgin Sailor Luna! Now to show you the TRUE power of General Azurite!"

Inoichi's eyes widened as he stared at Ino's door before his wife physically dragged him down the stairs, " Not anymore they're not!", Kaori proclaimed as she pulled Inoichi out the door and batted away his weak, wet fangirls like the annoying flies they were.

Naruto pumped his member into Ino, his hands coupled to the sides of her smooth waist. He hands flailed and weakly pushed at Naruto. Obviously she was trying to keep up the facade, and failing as moans started coming out. He let go of her waist and grabbed onto her arms, putting more power behind his thrusts as he did.

"I can't-I can't-loooOOOO!", Ino howled as her pussy clenched up sending Naruto over the edge as well, pouring into Ino before he let go of her arms and collapsed onto his hands above her.

"N-not bad for a Nega-general if I do say so myself.", he panted to Ino, who was still basking in the feeling of one of the best orgasms, as few in number, that she has ever had.

"I-I have to agree. Can you get out of me now?", she panted as well.

" Aww, but it feels so nice inside it"

" Too bad, I'm not taking a breather with you still buried inside me."

Naruto pouted, the smirked as he slowly pulled out of Ino, causing her to jolt every now and then.

" Looks like somone has a refractory period", Naruto chimed as he pulled fully out of Ino.

" What? And you don't?", Ino countered. Naruto smirked.

" Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go", he answered, which caused Ino to tense.

' Oh god' she thought in dread.

" After all, just one time? And on our honeymoon to boot? I laugh at such an idea. Besides, there are plenty more costumes...", he struggled to stand up and walked over to the closet with Ino watching, her butt still hanging in the air.

He grabbed one that was a red gothic lingerie. Naruto smirked.

" I'm gonna put this one on"

Ino looked at him like he had just pulled off his own head, " WHAT? Wear it? You'd never fit into it and I don't want to see a grown-"

*POOF*

There was Naruko.

...or at least a long haired pale blonde lolita that Ino decided looked enough like Naruto's sexy jutsu to call her that. (Just guess)

Ino gawked at the, petite blonde female.

"Like I said Ino-chan, my henges are solid.", Naruko supplied as she crouched down sexily in front of Ino.

" W-who says I want to have sex with another girl, even if it's MMM", she was cut off as Naruko locked "her" lips with Ino's. She tried imagining it was Naruto but DAMN was he a good actor.

" Because I'm not giving you a choice naughty girl.", Naruko supplied as she picked up a stocking off the floor and used it to tie Ino's hands behind her. With Ino bound, she picked her up off the floor and put her on the bed while Ino blushed madly.

" Now ba a good little pet and stay there while I get ready", Naruko ordered as she strutted into the bathroom with the outfit. Ino could only stare at the sway in his/her hips and wonder what the hell was going to happen next.

*The next morning (Oh yeah, I'm evil)

The chaos was over.

Kakashi spooned his purple haired wife

Jiraiya and Tsunade layed tangled in the sheets, with last night's activities brushed off on the floor beside the bed.

Iruka snored, still tied to the bed as Anko used his chest as a pillow.

Teuchi woke up, only to see his naked daughter with remnants of chocolate sauch covering her and the chunin he knew was usually the gate guard. He dropped once again.

Two blondes walked back, hand in hand, to their house, the sun just starting to rise to wash away the misty visage of the village.

" They better be done", Inoichi huffed.

His wife chuckled, " I don't even think Naruto could last this long dear...though I'm surprised..."

Inoichi looked at his wife with curiosity, " About what?".

Kaori looked at Inoichi with suspicion, " That you're taking this so well. The last boy Ino brought over, I had to douse you in water to get you to stop intimidating him. I'm surprised you haven't said anything that even remotely sounds like a death threat, especially considering what they were doing."

Inoichi shrugged, " He's Minato's and Kushina's son. With this, the Yamanaka's get into a very exclusive club that alot of the clans would love-urk", he cut off as his wife stopped and bore a hole in his head with her eyes.

" You've never cared about clan prestige before so spill Inoichi", his wife said with an angry pout that he couldn't resist.

" Alright alright. Sheesh. It's because I know what that kid will do for Ino".

Kaori's look turned to confusion, " What he'll do for her?", Inoichi gave her a knowing look.

" It's no secret Kaori, that out of the rest of her graduating class, Ino is the weakest. Hell, even that pink haired banshee that got arrested yesterday is stronger than her by far". Kaori HAD to deffend against that.

" Oi, she just hasn't found her drive yet. Not everybody becomes a super ninja right out of the Academy."

" Oh she found it alright Kaori".

"...Naruto."

Inoichi chuckled, " Who else. Considering his reputation of making people strive for the better, I'm sure he's not going to let his wife off the hook. Add to that his drive to protect people, and I'm sure we won't have any regrets having him as a son-in-law".

Kaori looked on as they started walking again, her head on the current subject of her daughter and her husband...until something poked at her mind.

" You think they used any protection at all last night?", she asked her husband, who's step faultered before picking back up.

" Err, It's not like we can do anything about it after the fact, so let's at least wait until after breakfast to start talking about stuff like that", Inoichi proclaimed.

Kaori narrowed her eyes.

" Are you sure? Cause it would be wierd to have a baby at the same time as my daughter", she asked. Inoichi gawked at her.

" What the heck are you talking about, I used con-"

She displayed a pin with an evil smirk

"...doms...what the fff...YOU EVIL WOMAN!"

" Probaby shouldn't have married me then! EEHEEHEHEEE!", she cackled as she ran to the house, her husband hot on her tail.

*At the house*

Ino's snore choked off as her eyes groggily opened. She stared half mindedly at the chest her head was laying on as it rose and fell with the subsequent snores that echoed in the room. She tried, and failed to pick herself off the chest due to her arms being asleep, but she had woken the slumbering beast she had been using ast a bed.

" ngh. Huh? ...Ino?"

" Yeah"

"Uugh. What time is it?", he asked as he tensed up with a breath, stretching the muscles in his torso before starting wake up mode.

" Judging by the sun...it's day", she deadpanned as she started stretching out as well.

"Oh good.", Naruto said lightly before groaning as he sat up, taking Ino for the ride. It helped that they were still "lined up", so both ended up in a sitting position.

Ino moved back and sat on his legs while looking at him. She thought she would never use it but with the matching male school uniform, it was 2 for 1 so who was she to say no to a free outfit.

Naruto admired Ino in her slightly disshelved schoolgirl outfit (pick one).

Then they heard the bickering downstairs.

"Sounds like they're back", Ino mumbled, with Naruto nodding.

" Maybe they made breakfast"

"..."

"**GRUMBLE"**

They both looked at eachother before getting up and dragging themselves towards the kitchen...but not before Naruto zipped his pants back up and Ino put panties back on under her skirt.

*Kitchen*

" I still can't believe you did that! No planning, no discussion, no thought! I didn't even get any say in it!", Inoichi whined at his wife who was working over the stove.

" Oh quit your complaining! We've successfully raised one who is now leaving the nest, so now we're having another. It might even be the son you were hoping for.", she countered with her hands on her hips.

" Err, what are you two arguing about?", Ino asked unsurely from the entrance to the kitchen, Naruto quirking an eyebrow.

When Inoichi saw them, he gawked. When Kaori saw them, she had to hold in the squeal.

" I poked holes in your father's condoms!", Kaori replied happily, like a toddler that just used the big girl's toilet.

Ino's mouth dropped open

Inoichi's did as well.

Naruto was still half asleep.

" Condoms...we should have used some of those", he mumbled to Ino

Ino bodily turned towards Naruto and stared at him with half lidded eyes, before nailing him across the head sending him to the floor.

Inoichi's jaw fell off.

Kaori turned to her husband, " See! I told you! Now it's going to be awkward!"

" I think we're way past that point Mom", Ino moaned as her shoulders slumped.

" Well sit down at the table, I'm almost done cooking breakfast".

"**Haaaai**", the two proclaimed as they complied. You'd think the situation would be a little more tense, with both females possibly being pregnant. But Naruto was right. Adaptibility was a ninja's greatest trait...it also helped that it meant they got to take accumulated maternity leave, which came with incentives as of late due to the birthrate decline...

But adaptiblity sounded more noble.

*10 minutes later*

Kaori looked between her newly extended family as they ate, bickered, and conversed.

Naruto and Ino were in school uniforms.

Inoichi was in casual wear

She was in her apron.

...It was so bizare to her. It was almost like they were a civilian family. While Kaori would never dream of giving up her life in Konoha, she had always wondered what it would be like if her family wasn't so tied up in clans, killing, and military protocol.

It was surreal, but a nice respite from knowing that you, your husband, your daughter, or even your brand new son-in-law could not come home from a mission any time. She imagined Inoichi looking at his watch and saying he needed to get to his clinic, then Ino and Naruto realising what time it was before rushing around the house in panic for their briefcases, then shooting off to school. She wanted to bask in this feeling for a while before it became the same old grind of cold wars and secrecy. In fact..

Kaori got up and made her way to her bedroom while Inoichi looked on curiously. She came back with a camera and quickly took a picture of Ino and Naruto stretching eachother's faces out. They looked at her after the flash.

" Alright you guys, I want to get a picture of all of us", she stated as she put the camera on a timer.

" Um, should we be in these clothes for a picture?", Naruto asked unsurely.

" Yes you should. Think of it as roleplaying on a more life sized scale to sate a mother's musings".

The other two blondes were perplexed by this, but Naruto got her angle perfectly after thinking about it.

" Sure"

" What's she talking about?", Ino asked Naruto.

" Just smile for the camera"

She did just that, and gave a peace sign as well.

Kaori crouched behind her husband with a smile

Inoichi looked up from his paper at the camera gave a crooked smile

*Flash*

*Timeskip*

" I HATE YOU YOU BLONDE HAIRED SON OF A BITCH! PLAY ALL NICE A CUDDLY AND THEN YOU **DO THIS TO ME. GYAAAA!**"

Naruto was too much in pain to respond well, having your wife crush your hand quite literally, will usually do that. Why did Tsunade have to teach this to her?¡

" Just breath honey", he wheezed

"**DON'T TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO-UGH-GAAAAAHH!¡**"

"IF YOU HAVE STRENGTH TO SPARE YELLING AT YOUR HUSBAND, YOU HAVE STRENGTH TO PUSH!", Tsunade yelled from between Ino's legs.

"Get some drugs in here!", Naruto hollered.

" She doesn't need drugs!"

" I NEED DRUGS!", Naruto cried with tears in his eyes.

" Uh oh" Tsunade spoke up.

" WHAT'S UHOH?¡", Ino roared as she glared death at the leader.

" It's stuck! Shizune! Get the plunger!"

" The WHAT?¡", Naruto screamed.

A minute later found Tsunade pulling on a plunger with as little force as she could muster while Ino tried killing Naruto from the gurney she was on.

With an audible *pop*, the baby finally came out and started screaming to the world that it was pissed.

" Congratulations, it's a boy", Tsunade chimed as Shizune cleaned him up.

" We kinda figured that out when you had to take a plunger to him", Naruto deadpanned as he nursed his healing hand.

" The screaming to go back into the womb was another dead giveaway", Ino mumbled in exhaustion as she took hold of the bundle placed in her arms. She looked down at the little spawn that had fought kicking and screaming for the past 38 HOURS, to stay in her. He had her eyes...though most babies had blue eyes, Naruto's hair, and...

" Aww. He has Minato's face!", Tsunade cooed as she looked at the baby. She could only hope her baby turned as cute, and not the horny ogre she imagined unleashing on the world.

" Really? He does kinda look like dad doesn't he?", Naruto chimed in, " Maybe we should name him Minato"

Ino gave Naruto a half lidded glare, " Namikaze Uzumaki Minato? Why don't you just throw in Naruto and Tsunami while you're at it and he can be End of the World Boy".

Naruto had to give her that. Too much about wind and waves, " Alright, have any suggestions?".

Ino pondered, then looked into the baby's eyes, who looked curiously at his mother with those pupiless blue orbs.

"Hmm...Namikaze Uzumaki Narraku (Abyss)", she stated with certainty.

" Huh.. I like that. It's deep...no pun intented", Naruto replied in the green with a smile.

The baby didn't seem to care either way as he slipped off into lala land with the big lady watching.

" dammit Inoichi, why didn't you stop me from doing this!", They heard the muffled shout of Ino's mother in the last vestiges of labor.

" you didn't tell me until AFTER you did it!"

" don't give me that! I thought you were supposed to be some mind expert! You should have seen what I was going to do! i don't want to go through this again!"

" too late! just push!"

Everybody in Ino's room sweatdropped, allowing Shizune to catch the three by surprise as she grabbed up a camera and took a shot as they looked at her in confusion.

*flash*

*timeskip*

Ino dodged with a backflip as she and her husband sparred.

Both had become jounin as Narraku turned three. While one would think they would be on the same team, Naruto kept his vows.

While one of them was on an extended or risky mission, the other did no more than REAL C-ranks that took only, at most, a week to complete. That way if something happened to one or the other, there would still be one of them to take care of their son.

It had taken alot of argument, alot of blackmail, and a hell of alot of bribing to get this setup from Tsunade, who was stubborn about handicapping one of her jounins while the other was away, but considering Naruto's family history...oh and blackmail/bribing...she finally relented that it would be a good idea.

Naruto was also adamant about getting her up to snuff, something she wasn't too keen on back then. In fact, she argued with him for an hour straight until he finally took matters into his own hands...err hand.

By using it to smack her ass.

She chased him halfway around the village. Only halfway because by then, she was wheezing and ready to throw up from exhaustion, to which Naruto reappeared and told her that most of her peers can go farther than that, and still be able to fight.

*rashsnack*

" You remember all the stories about my missions I've been on Ino?", he asked his exhausted wife as she regained her energy on a bench.

"Yeah. What about them?", she groaned.

" Most of them were major missions that I was on with the Konoha Twelve. The Sand/Sound invasion, the Retrieval Mission, all the missions before my training trip, and all of them up till now. There have only been a handful that I can remember you even being a part of..."

She could already hear what was coming, and it hurt to know that it was true.

"...and even fewer where you played a significant role. It seems like when the tough missions come up, you kinda get shrugged off instead of being the first they pick."

And there it was.

" You can be stronger than that Ino. I can see it in you. You could have made jounin by now if you tried.".

" *sigh* Do you have to shove it in my face", she grumbled as she looked down at her feet.

" Not really no, I just want you to know WHY I'm going to push you to reach that potential..."

Ino's eyes widened and she looked up at Naruto. She noticed his darkened smirk.

" And I don't care if I have to smack your ass until it's cherry red, I'm GOING to make sure you reach it".

" Ch-choto! Don't I get any say in this?¡", she yelled.

" To quote the words of a particular wife that cut down my ramen intake per week..."It's for your own good", he said with finality.

Ino gulped. The prospects of a nice relaxing day were shot to hell.

*trashhack koi*

Oh he pushed her alright.

Endurance. He had gotten creative in exactly what he smaked...or groped...or pinched.

Taijutsu. In the form of trying to kick his ass. Later on, he started fighting back as well.

Ninjustu. He had bribed Kakashi with Jiraiya's latest and last volume, which only 30 copies were made, Icha Icha: Revelations. 200 of Kakashi's thousand jutsu for that one book was apparently a steal...for Kakashi...and Naruto. To each his own. They couldn't use all of them but there were enough deffensive, offensive, and supplimentary jutsu they could use to give them both a decisive advantage.

Genjutsu was a pain in the ass, especially with the only genjutsu expert in Konoha in psychiatric rehab thanks to Tsunade, who had enough of Kurenai's moping around like a goth ( probably because it reminded her too much of her old self),

So, seeing as it was her that put their option in rehab, they figured she should be the one

*Slashhack*

" The hell? I don't even know genjutsu!", Tsunade fired back at the two blondes.

" But you do have the control for it, which means both you and I will learn genjutsu. After all, you put the only real option in the Happy House last month", Ino countered.

" Okay, one, she needed it. Two, WHY would I want to even learn genjutsu? And three, even if I did, I don't have time to thanks to this fucking _paperwork_", she ended glaring venom at the stacks, who had started mocking her as of late, though she wouldn't ever tell anyone.

It was Naruto's turn, " Um, okay, one, you're right, she did. Two, unless you actually want to accelerate your age again, you can't use your regeneration techniques anymore, meaning you only have your medical skills, strength, and summons to rely on, making you, in all actuality, the weakest Hokage-"

Tsunade's mouth dropped open, causing two stacks of papers to fall over. He was right!

"-and three, why the hell are you using the paperwork as an excuse, just make a shadow clone so you can train with Ino..."

Naruto stared at Tsunade's stone face that stared back as if she had shut off.

"You...never read Jiji's letter to his successor...have you?"

No she hadn't. She had tossed it into a drawer when she came to office due to all the crap happening around the village at the time.

Tsunade hiccuped a couple times...the it started.

" WAAAAHH!", she sobbed as she started pounding on the desk, causing Hashira (Pillar) in the crib next to it to wake up and start bawling as well.

And then Narraku joined in in Ino's arms.

Ino and Naruto spent the next 20 minutes calming down the three blondes.

"Honestly Tsunade-chan. Even if you didn't read it, you should have figured it out by now", Naruto started.

" Too busy immersing yourself in village affairs and waiting for that next sake break", Ino chastised.

" Oi, who's the leader around here? I don't need you two lecturing me. ", she grumbled.

" Sometimes even the leader needs a noggin knock, especially when said leader is my godmother".

Godmother..oh right...she married Jiraiya.

"And you have thirty years more to learn something else. After all, you're at the pinnacle of medical expertise, why not add onto it?", Ino added.

They kept on giving her examples. It was obvious what they were doing. Double teaming her with bugging until she finally relented. God how the hell did they act so alike?

" FINE! You're ablsolutely right! Now stop with the synch talk dammit, you're giving me the creeps", Tsunade grouched. Then she popped a shadow clone, which knew exactly what to do. Something bugged Tsunade.

" How the hell did you know that Sarutobi-sensei left a letter?", She asked Naruto.

" Hmm? Before I was put into a team, I was his assistant for a few years. You know, help sort out the paperwork, organise files, help with meetings and stuff. How do you think I got the Forbidden Scroll so easily? Hell, I know every hidden compartment and passage in this office, 110 in total-"

'110?¡ I only know about 40!' Tsunade complained in her head.

"-every security seal, every contingency, everything that Jiji taught me-".

'Pffft. If you weren't sure about being Hokage before, you just chained yourself to it now Naruto', Ino mused. The Sandaime grooming Naruto for the future was not a known fact to anyone...until now.

"-I even know that most of this "paperwork", is crap.", he went over to a stack and picked up a paper.

"Request for a pizza oven from Anbu HQ: Take to reqesitions", he proclaimed as he slapped the paper down in a new place.

" Civilians complaining about noises from the training fields: Then they shouldn't have built there, Crap", Slapped into another pile.

" Academy staff suggesting casual Fridays: Hold for further consideration", Slapped into another pile.

" Request to mine the Hokage Monument for precious metals: Crap"

"Request to tear down apartment building with only one tenant in it (Me): Crap"

" Prisoner report on Haruno...Sakura...demonic possession?", Naruto looked at the paper in shock.

Both blonde females held the same look.

*Bashflack hai*

Ino cocked her head to the side as a fist traveled by, then did a somersault in the direction of her head as the arm curled up in an attempted grab.

She had deffinitely gotten stronger. She didn't have Naruto's endurance, chakra, or power, but she had speed, agility, and control, plus her expertise on psychology.

It made for an interesting fight in the Jounin exams, especially when she defeated him.

Okay, YES, she knew he was holding back. He had no choice. He wasn't going to throw a Rasenshuriken at her or use half his other jutsu that his reserves and control (or lack thereof) made purely lethal, or any of the other techniques that would make his taijutsu just as killer.

He told her as she glared at him that he wasn't going to kill his wife just so she could feel better about a fight.

She had to admit he was right...as she punched him in the nose while he was still adjusting to being handicapped.

All in all, Ino was about half as strong as her husband, which wasn't bad at all considering Tsunade was at the same level.

The fight itself was epic in it's length and it's display. They sure as hell made Jounin.

Ino's musings cost her as Naruto came in for a strike, causing Ino to backpedal, and trip over something.

" Aaack!", she cried as she triped and fell on her ass, to see Narraku laying on his stomach and staring at her with a patented Naruto mishchief smile.

" I defeeded mommy dad!", her 3 year old son proclaimed with pride.

" That you did Narra-kun. I'm proud of you!", Naruto mock wiped away a tear as Ino gave both of them a mock angry pout.

" Hey! No fair! You two are double teaming me! I'm not feeling any love here", Ino half heartedly whined.

"I'm sowry mommy", Narraku apologised as he got up and hugged Ino.

Damned where he figured it out but he knew when he did it that neither of them could resist.

" Awww, it's alright sweetie. You just wanted to train too. But you should be "training" with someone the same size as you", Ino told her son.

He went into a thinking pose he had seen his father use somtimes, which looked adorable to both parents-

" Can you make me a sistwer to twrain with?"

and then he said that, and the adorableness was forgoten. Both parents froze and went into a cold sweat.

"Umm, eheh...who want Ice cream?", Naruto diverted.

It worked, " I do! I do!", Narraku shouted as he clumsily ran towards the edge of the training fields.

" That's the fourth time this month someone has asked about another child, and this time from my own son", Ino sighed tiredly.

" Well, you're not the only one. In fact, it seems to be a major topic. Seems like it might turn into a "Second Wave" Naruto replied looking on towards his son.

After The Hunt, it was a very well known fact that most of those couples ended up conceiving a child within the first month afterwards. 9 months later was called The Wave, due to the population of the village, 12 and under, Quaddrupling in that month. Manufacturers of baby items were dancing in the streets months before and after The Wave. A year later, bakers, restaraunts, and manufacturers of toys and party supplies joined them. Thus, the month of April for many businesses was named Black Month.

And now, three years later since the first, many couples had started talking about working on another, which probably had the business owners creaming themselves.

" So I've heard. We just get them all walking and talking and now they're talking about having another". Ino groaned as she stretched her muscles and got up off the ground to follow Naruto over to their excited son.

" This IS usually the time in a couple's life that the question of "Do we stop at one, or do we have more" pops up. Most don't wait until one's out the door to have another honey", he poked about her parents.

*Over at T&I*

"Did youw haiwr get eaten?"

"No"

"Did you cut it auff?"

"No"

"Did it fawl off?"

"No!"

"Did the snake laidy steaul it?"

"Grrr.", he pulled off his handkerchief. That should shut the kid up...as if.

" *gasp*...ooooh, can I tauch it?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to touch it"

"Why?"

" Because I don't let ANYONE touch it!"

"Why?"

"Grrr. Because it's personal!"

"OK...Did yaur head catch on faiur?'

Ibiki dragged his hand across his face. 'Inoichi, if you don't get back soon...I'm firing you and giving your son the job'.

A respite came in the form of a purple haired kunoichi, who kicked open the door and barged in...then saw the little Yamanaka hellspawn and tried to bolt out the same door. Unfortunately Ibiki beat her to it.

" Anko take care of Chudoku for a while bye", he blurted as he flew out the door with a slam, locking Anko in.

" Damn you Ibiki! I just got away from my own kid!", she cried as she pounded on the steel door.

"Snake Lady!", Chudoku yelled in happiness. Anko didn't share his enthusiasm as she turned blue and tried to crawl away from the boy coming in for a hug. One would think she was overreacting. Well One can go to hell cause Yomi had nothing on this kid.

She felt arms wrap around her after she had run out of wall into a corner. 'Don't look at his eyes, don't look at his eyes, DON'T LOOK AT HIS EYES!'

"Snake Lady?"

She couldn't help it, she opened her eyes. His mother's face and her green eyes shone back at her. She cried anime tears as she hugged him back.

Chudoku was just as good as Narraku at getting the adults to faulter.

*Back with the Uzumakis*

"So? That doesn't mean we have to follow everyone else", Ino chided.

"Very true..."

"..."

"We should be the ones leading", Naruto said with a smirk.

" Damn right we should!", Ino agreed with a determined glare.

" ICE CWREAM!", Narraku shouted when he saw the vendor.

After buying the ice cream, the family took to a bench across the walk to eat. Narraku looked up from his cone to listen to his parents talking.

" Whaddar you taulking about?", he asked curiously as he looked at them with the same eyes he had as a baby.

" Oh just the idea of you having a brother or sister", Ino replied to her son, who looked back with wide eyes.

" Aure you?", he asked excitedly.

" We're thinking about it. No promises", Naruto spoke up, then spied a menu item on the ice cream stand.

" You do pictures too?", he called over to the vendor, who shrugged.

" Alot of couples have asked for it so I made it part of the business. Why, you want one?"

" Sure", Naruto said, paying the man, who came out with a camera.

" Alright alright, now say WRRRYYYYYY!"

*flash*

*Timeskip*

Naruto and Ino tidied up one of the guest bedrooms in their level of what USED to be an apartment building. Now, it was the strangest "mansion" or "clan compound" that has ever graced the elemental nations. Most called it Namikaze or Uzumaki Tower. Their..."friends"...called it the Fortress of Blondeness and the cynics just called it the worst place to put a clan, due to it being right across the street from the Red Light District. Naruto just thought of that as part of it's charm stating, " The neon signs light up the building like a christmas tree and it puts us in touch with the average working woman...heheh" yeah that chuckle was his. Since the Namikaze name became a clan solely by Minato being Hokage, and the Uzumaki were allies of the Senju and now closely tied to the Yamanaka as well, they were now representing that district, which had no voice before in the council. It also helped that Naruto bought up the businesses across the street and cleaned them up into less seedy places...but actually ADDED to the neon cause he thought it was cool.

Anyways

They were tidying up the room for an extended guest. One who had gone through a hell of alot in the last 5 years.

" Are you sure? I mean, I haven't talked to her since The Hunt, and it wasn't a very civil conversation if I remember", Naruto asked his wife as she layed out fresh linen.

" You tried imbedding a kunai in her head. And yes, I'm sure. We both know what happened. We can't fault her for anything.", Ino sighed.

Sakura HAD been serving a 5 year sentence for breaking the arms and legs of an Anbu who was trying to stop her rampage.

HAD

8 months in. IT decided it's host was a lost cause and did what any demonic entity would do.

Suck her dry and move on.

It had started taking more and more of Sakura's chakra, causing her slow deterioration, to the point of sucking off what she needed to survive. She was rushed to the hospital at 10 months in as her major organs started failing. Naruto had a personal doctor during the Sandaime's reign, before Tsunade took over as such. Sakura was lucky enough to get this doctor, as the other ones were baffled as to why she wasn't producing enough chakra to even survive. He found it. It knew it was found and threw caution to the wind. It took Tsunade, Ino, Shizune, and 4 Anbu just to hold It down as it took over, Jiraiya rushing to extract it out of the girl.

It was...partially a success. They got it out, but the damage was done. Sakura was a shell. Guaging from Jiraiya's findings, Tsunade changed her discharge from Dishonorable to Medical, and cleared her of all charges, even though Inoichi would spend the next four years trying to piece the girl back together. She was worse than the ROOT ninjas, at least they could hold a conversation. It took a year for her to even be able to talk. Some parental support would have been nice, but hers had wrote her off as soon as they learned she was posessed.

*flashback*

"Inoichi, did she understand anything I just said?", Tsunade asked quietly as she looked at the girl starting at her lap in the hospital bed. She had just got done telling her of the pardon.

Inoichi sighed, " I don't even think she recognizes you Hokage-sama. I took a look at her earlier. It ripped her mind to shreds to gain control quickly. Pardon the expression, but healing her will be like completing a million piece jigsaw puzzle".

Tsunade couldn't help but feel guilty. She hadn't seen it. None of them had. At least with biju, there were OBVIOUS signs. In a way, the "lesser" demon was more dangerous than any bijuu could be to a person.

" Is there anything that can help?", Tsunade asked.

" I think she might have parental recognition..."

"...But?"

" Her parents found out what happened and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her", he broke the news. Tsunade's look was of shock.

" H-how the hell...could they do that to her when she actually needs them!", she shouted in disbelief.

" It doesn't surprise me. I met her parents back when she was still friends with Ino. I wasn't impressed, especially when they stated their "views" about her being a kunoichi. The fact that she was posessed just sealed the deal.".

"...speaking of her being a kunoichi. If you get her back together, is there any chance of her rejoining?", Tsunade asked looking for some good news.

"Rrrmmm. Her chakra control is shot to hell. Not due to damage, but more along the lines of her chakra levels shooting up to high Jounin level. Apparently It was feeding very well off of her most of her life. It would take years for her to get it back but she can be classified as a ninjutsu type now. From what you told me, her organs are back in working order. She has very little muscle mass due to her overuse of chakra amplification, and her senses seem to be undamaged. Physically she could, yes. But mentally...Tsunade, I've never had a case this bad. This makes the Root members look like marriage counseling. The entity was also tied into her personality, so there are parts of her that are no longer there, and I can't really tell what they were until I get a better picture. She may, she may not. We have to fix her first."

"...How long?"

" Bar any further complications, at best, three years. At worst, ten",

'Ten years', she repeated depressingly in her mind as she brushed her hand across Sakura's cheek, elliciting a simple response of looking up at Tsunade...or through her, or around her. Tsunade couldn't tell from the dull lifeless green eyes that had moved to stare in her general direction.

"Start as soon as you can Inoichi. If you have to, bring Ino in too. You said they were friends, maybe it will spark something", she said taking one more look at the girl before making towards the door.

" I'll try my best Hokage-sama"

*flashback done*

They had gotten her back together, but that was only half the battle. She had the energy of a broken rape victim, and with her parents excommunication of her, she had nowhere to go after she was released from the hospital. Ino was the one who offered since none of the other Konoha 12 even knew her well enough to give such an offer, Tsunade didn't have the time or energy that Sakura needed, and Kakashi didn't have...the emotional values for it.

And that's where they are now.

Ino and Naruto heard a wail from the room next to the one they were in.

" Sounds like Tsunade needs something", Naruto stated redundantly.

Oh yes, they named their daughter after the Slug Sanin.

She was thrilled as to why

*minor flash*

"Tsunade, eat your vegetables" Ino

"Tsunade, go to bed" Naruto

"Tsunade, it's bath time" Ino

"Tsunade, you went potty by yourself, I'm so proud" Naruto

"Tsunade, you better go to sleep or Santa won't come" Ino

"You two are evil!", Tsunade cried with anime tears.

*minor flash end*

" Alright, you mind finishing up while I check on her?", Ino stated as she wiped her hands.

" No problem. Where's Narraku by the way?"

Ino looked back at her husband, " I sent him over to mom and dad's. Just until we know she's not going to go suicidal or... anything.", she stated with caution on the mind.

Naruto picked up on it, " Yeah. That's a good idea" , he agreed soberly.

*An hour later*

Ino went to pick up Sakura from the hospital, leaving Naruto to entertaining their three month old. Naruto tickled the baby's nose causing her slate grey eyes to narrow as she giggled. Tsunade said they came from his mother...and that she hoped it was the only thing she got from her. Maybe they should have named her Kushina?...Nah, Tsunade was a great name. As much as her grandmother complained about it, Tsunade coddled the baby just like any grandmother would. Well..any grandmother that had childeren the same age as theirs at least.

*Over in the Senju compound*

"Hashira! Get back here!"

" NO! I DON'T NEED A BATH!", her 4 year old terror proclaimed as he ran naked through the compound with Tsunade running after. Right past Jiraiya.

" Woo! We got a streaker!", Jiraiya whooped from his seat on the porch.

Tsunade stopped just long enough to shout at her husband," Jiraiya! Stop staring and help!",

So he did

" BAKA! THAT'S NOT HELPING!", Tsunade roared as she ran after her streaking son and husband. She could run faster but she had her 3 month old son Hiruzen in a baby harness in front of her, who was enjoying the ride...oh yes.

*Naruto*

Her godparents were a constant in Tsunade's budding life as well. Speaking of which, he wondered how his old sensei was doing?

*At the Hatake residence*

Kakashi glared at the directions on the box for...grrr... macaroni and cheese.

'How the hell can kids eat this crap? It doesn't even taste like cheese!' he thought as his cheek twitched, which was visible due to his wife's insistence of losing the mask now that he's married. The female populations favorite new word when he passed by switched from "hentai", to a downtrodden "damn" as they spied the wedding bad.

His thoughts were halted as he heard the telltale sign of his daughter running up to him. " Daddy, can you help me with a word?"

" Sure, what is it?", he responded as he dumped the noodles in.

" Um, it's tri-tribadism"

Kakashi turned ash white before whipping around to see his silver haired, black eyed daughter holding a copy of Icha Icha out for him showing the word. Kakashi silently screamed. He though he locked them all up!

"Wh-where did you get that Rin?"

" I found it in the bathroom"

Oh god, that's right. No further description.

His look turned from horror into his negotiation face.

" Rin. You remember that kunai set you wanted?'

"...the ones with Hello Doggy on them?", she lit up in realization.

" Err yeah. I'll get them for you if you forget that you ever heard that word and ever picked up that book"

Kakashi graduated the academy at six. While his daughter wasn't THAT much of a prodigy, she was smart for a 4 year old.

"...and you'll take us to Ichiraku's for dinner?", she garnished.

Kakashi didn't know whether he should be proud or angry. Angry pride?

"Yeees, and Ichiraku's", he relented.

" Deal!", she chirped as she threw the book to him and ran off somewhere.

Kakashi promptly caught it and tucked it in his pants. He didn't need Yugao trying to kill him, especially after she got done with one of her shifts, cause her 4 year old asked her what leg locking is.

Now his musings were interupted by a nasty stench. His head whipped around to a baby basket on the table, and Obito giving the scrunchy face before he usually-

"WAAAAAH!"

Kakashi groaned. Why did he think this was a good idea again? He was missing bachelorhood already.

* and back again*

A beep went off, telling Naruto someone had stepped into the building courtesy of the security system he put up.

He put Tsunade back in her crib and grabbed a camera before making his way towards the door.

He figured it was an important event in their lives, might as well capture it.

As the door started to open, he raised the camera to his eye.

When it completely opened, it was only autopilot causing him to push the button.

Cause what he saw through the sight, no matter what their past, made his heart feel like lead.

*flash*

*Timeskip*

Naruto layed face down on a examination table as he felt his feet pushed together and then bent upwards before being dropped back down. Some prodding of his back muscles with a green glowing finger, and then the telltale *snap* and impact into his back, and he felt a little more tension ebb away before it continued.

"Hard training?", he heard from behind him as the inclination of his feet were examined again. It was a soft voice that showed subtle emotion.

" S-ranked mission. Had to carry Kakashi's ass back cause some warlord decided to but an arrow in it.".

"*snort* An arrow? Kakashi got downed by an arrow? *Snap* *Snap*". Didn't mean she was emotionless. No one stays emotionless in the Fortress of Blondeness. It's illegal.

*flashback A BIG ONE*

" You didn't have to do this Ino", Sakura almost whispered. They had made a little headway in the last year, but it was slow going. At least she didn't look like a rape victim anymore...that's...good...right?

"Oh come on Sakura, you know I can't resist at least having a small party for your birthday, so cheer up!", Ino prodded, trying to get a reaction out of the girl.

"G-gomenasai", apologised just as quietly. It wasn't what Ino was hoping for. She awkwardly pushed her short hair back behind her ear. It was strange how it went. Sakura use to have short hair and Ino long hair. Now it was vice versa, though Ino had the hair for it, so it turned into a nice little bob cut.

" ...Anyways, Naruto should be back with the cake in a bit-"

boomboomboomBOOMBOOMBOOM " Did you say CAKE?¡", Her son shouted.

"*Sigh* Yes Narraku, I said cake, and NO, you cannot eat HALF of it this time", His mother laid down the law.

" Awww. But I like cake!"

" So do other people!"

" Well then get two!"

" We'll be fine with just one you little Akimichi!"

A cheek twitched.

"...there's ice cream too right?"

"Obviously"

" Four scoops!"

" One!"

" Three!"

"Two!"

"**...Two and a half**"

" Okay!", with that Narraku's pouty face turned into a smile and he ran off.

" Oi! Bring your sister out here or else you'll get half a slice!"

"Meanie!", she heard down the hallway.

*Beep*

" Who's that? Naruto shouldn't be back this fast. "

The door burst open before Ino could reach it.

" Konnichiwa! We heard a party was happening and noone invited us!", Tsunade and her Senju Hoarde invited themselves.

Sakura looked on like she was a second away from bolting.

Tsunade took care of that.

" And here's the birthday girl. Why so glum looking? You're 21, you should embrace it", Tsunade prodded as held Sakura's shoulders down.

" Maybe noone's given her her spankings yet?", Jiraiya teased as both Hashira and Narraku hung off his arms like a jungle gym. Tsunade didn't think it was funny.

" Oi! I'm trying to cheer her up, not embarass her!"

The two bickered as Ino looked on in frustration. She said a small party not-

*Beep*

Oh god.

" Yo!"

Oh dear god.

" We heard there was a party going on and figured we'd come and visit", Kakashi's wife Yugao stated as she shifted her toddler Obito into her other arm, Rin already busy being antagonized by the boys.

"Um...greeaat"

*Beep*

"What now?¡", Ino whined.

" Hey honey...OH you're having a party!", Kaori chirped as Inoichi walked in with with her, Chudoku wrapped around his leg, and .Inori perched on his arm...she didn't know WHY her father and his friends felt they had to pump out another Ino-Shika-Chou trio...but fuck if they weren't.

"Mom? Dad? What are you two doing here?", Ino groaned.

" Well we WERE going to see if you wanted to go out for barbaque, but this looks like much more fun. Why didn't you invite us?", Kaori pouted.

" It was SUPPOSED to be just a small party", Ino whined eyeing the other couples that were talking amongst eachother about...where their kids have crapped BESIDES the toilet. She could relate.

" Ohhhhh. Well, not anymore!", her mother chirped as she joined in. Ino looked to see Sakura tensed up in her chair with the adult talking around her. *twitch*

Before Ino could take a second look-

" I'm back Ino. Hope you don't mind. I told a few people about the party on my way", He proclaimed cheerfully with bags in hand.

" You mean them?", Ino deadpanned while thumbing at the couples who had switched to where they have found their kids sitting BESIDES furniture. *twitch*

"Yup"

" Naruto, this was supposed to be a SMALL party! This isn't helping Sakura at all!", she harshly whispered up close.

" Neither was a small party. Might as well bring some fun to the table", he murmured back. "Besides, I compensated for the extra guests-", he stated holding up a grocery bag and a scroll, " -and I even got party hats!".

He pulled out one and stuck it on his glaring wife's head.

" Look. I gave you the cool one! It has a pinwheel on top!", he proclaimed whilst flicking the pinwheel to make it spin.

His wife glared harder.

It looked fucking stupid.

And he knew it.

*10 minutes later*

" Well!. Let's get this birthday started!", Jiraiya exclaimed, two party hats sticking off his head like horns.

" You just want cake!", Tsunade accused, just one hat hanging off her forehead.

" Well you never make any"

" I made one last month!"

" Tsunade, that cake was so horrible it baked a horror face into itself"

It did. She didn't know how it got there but it did. Scared Hashira half to death when he saw it. When Tsunade tried showing that it was harmless with a taste, she spent the next 5 minutes puking it back up.

" Damn thing looked like the Necronomicon", He mused.

"S-shut up"

Kakashi picked up on their conversation, " That sounds kinda like how I got Rin off her macaroni and cheese phase".

"...Do we even want to know?", Tsunade asked wearily for both of them since Jiraiya was too busy giving him wide eyes and a quirked eyebrow.

" Of course you do", Kakashi smirked. He couldn't do his eyesmile anymore cause that would just look stupid.

*flashback...within a flashback*

Yugao skimmed through parenting books for a solution to their problem.

" Come on Yugao, just get in bed", Kakashi groaned.

"Aren't you worried at all about this? It's not healthy for her to eat just one thing, and especially not that crap. It doesn't even taste like cheese!", she fired back.

" Yes. I am worried, and I have thought about it. I already have a plan"

She looked back at him, " ...Do I even want to know?".

"No, you don't. Just don't be surprised if she's crying afterwards. It's for her own good.", he stated seriously.

" It better not scar her for life", she warned as she got into bed.

" Nah...just her childhood", he...assured her as he clicked off the lights.

*The next day*

" Daddy I want mac and cheese!", she fidgeted around energetically behind her father.

Kakashi turned around with a faux smile, " Of course you do! And I already have a bowl ready!", he answered holding up a big bowl.

" Yay!", she grabbed it up and took it over to the table. Grabbing up a spoon she dug in-

"AAAAAAAHH! OH GOD! YOU'RE KILLING ME!", The horrified face that formed in the macaroni and cheese screamed as the place where the spoon went in started spurting blood.

All Kakashi heard was his daughters ear piercing scream as she quickly evacuated the table and ran to her room.

He walked calmly over to the bowl and undid the genjutsu he put on it, then made his way towards his daughter's room with the bowl.

" Rin, didn't you want your macaroni and cheese?", he asked the bawling lump under the covers of her bed.

" NO! I DON'T WANT IT! I DON'T WANT IT! I DON'T WANT IT!", every time becoming less coherent in her bawling.

" Alright then", he turned and walked back to the kitchen. He made to throw it out, but then saw his toddler looking at him.

" Do you want some?", he asked as he put the bowl by Obito's nose. It only took a whiff for the baby's face to scrunch up in the negative.

" Yeah, me neither", he agreed as he threw the whole bowl in the trash

*End of flashback flashback*

" And that was the end of that phase", he proclaimed happily.

All the adults were looking at him with incedulous stares except his wife.

"...well...it can't be any worse than the trauma Iruka and Anko are putting their kid through", Inoichi compromised.

" Oh? Why do you say that?", Ino asked looking for a distraction from the current topic.

" They went on a trip to Majikku Land".

Ino and Naruto both blanched.

" But it's the off season!", Ino reasoned. They had thought about going as well on the off season to save money, but Naruto wanted to check it out before hand. So he took a couple days off and ninja'd his way down into southern Fire Country. He came back with an afro, a mild case of heat stroke, a sunburn, and the Kyuubi screaming at him never to go there again. It was HOT and MUGGY this time of year.

*With the Uminos*

Anko and her daughter Reiko took shelter under the shade of one of the too few trees in the park as Iruka ventured out on a search for ice cream. They had just gotten off the Imagination ride, and while Anko thought it was totally stupid, being blasted with the outside air after they left made her want to ride it again. Unfortunately so did the 2 hour line that formed.

"Atsui. Can't we go on another ride?", he daughter complained.

" Only if you want to wait a few hours in the sun", Anko tiredly replied. At least she dressed in civilian clothes. The denim shorts and white t-shirt were tons cooler than her shinobi outfit was.

She heard her daughter groan in response.

" Konnichiwa cutie! I am the magical Princess Yukishiro!", an actor proclaimed.

Her daughter's face lit up and looked at the Princess, then turned to horror before she dived behind her mother screaming.

"Eh..."

Anko knew what the problem was, "Oi, Princess, your makeup is running and your wig is crooked". She looked like she came straight out of the Haunted Castle ride.

The actor let out an exhasperated sigh, " Again? I just touched up 10 minutes ago!", she complained.

Anko kinda felt sorry for her. It couldn't be comfortable in that big poofy dress.

The actor sat down and started wiping off the mascara lines and melted blush off her cheeks, then pulled off the wig much to her daughter's shock. Anko was amused to see she had purple hair.

" Gomen. I'm trying, but in this muggy heat it's a nightmare", the purple haired actor apologised.

" So..you're not Princess Yukishiro?", Reiko asked peeking from behind her mother.

" Err, I'm one of her body doubles", the actor lied...but it was true. The main "Princess" was cooped up in the damn cool castle. Draw lots her ass. It was rigged!

Apparently it worked cause they heard a knowing "Ohhh" from Reiko. Crisis averted...?

" I can't believe they make you come out in this heat", Anko stated as she looked at other parents dragging through the heat.

" I can't believe they keep the park open this time of year. Trying to catch as much money as possible by accomodating the "geniuses" who come down on the off season to "save money"...uh-...no offense", the actor quickly covered as Anko's eye twitched.

" Why do you even do it then?", Anko asked with a sigh.

" I have two kids to support. The oldest has chakra network damage, and the youngest lost her father due to biological complications. You'd think there'd be more jobs for a former kunoichi but I hardly got this one. They only took me because I can use my skill to make " _Pretty Yuki Jewels_"", she replied as she pulled a leaf off the tree and encased it in crystal. " Sometimes I want to make a big one and shove it up my supervisor's...err", she paused looking at Reiko. Anko was too busy internally smirking for a couple different reasons.

Then the actor's earphone came to life. When it died down, the actor chuckled humorlessly.

" What's up?", Anko pried.

" An alligator got into the Small Shinobi World ride and started attacking the puppets", the actor groaned.

Anko had to keep from laughing. That ride sucked worse than the Imagination one. She had to wonder what the Kages would think if they saw little animatronic puppets of themselves dancing together. Especially Tsunade. The whole thing was absolutely fucking corny, even Iruka said as much in those exact words. Since when do Leaf shinobi live in fucking trees?

" It doesn't sound like too much of a life. You should try rejoining a village", Anko managed to calm herself and say.

" You think I haven't tried that? Let's just say my prior employment record doesn't shine very well with any of the villages I've tried."

" Apparently you haven't tried the Leaf, because if I remember correctly, Hokage-sama had a very keen interest in recruiting you after you desserted Oto, Guren"

"...you're not looking for a fight are you?", Guren asked with tension.

" Two mothers, fighting in this heat, one in a big poofy dress and the other in jean shorts...no, I'd never be able to live it down. Besides, I'd be a hypocrite if I condemned another kunoichi who desserted the Snake Pedo.", Anko sighed in a relaxed position.

"...Anko"

"Oh so he did talk about me"

"...So I won't be thrown in jail the minute I step up to the gates"

" No. But I'm sure the Hokage will make you do something in compensation for that encounter. Just tell them I sent you. I'd like to take a finder's fee away from this trip because I'm pretty sure I won't be taking any fond memories"

Their conversation was halted as she saw her husband walk up in the Bakusho Bear shirt she bought and made him wear for her amusement. Yet, he was empty handed.

"Iruka! I told you to get ice cream!", Anko complained.

" I tried. But the ice cream vendor switched the sign to soup"

"..."

"...and then cheese curds"

Anko groaned.

"No Ice Cream?", Reiko looked sadly at her father.

"Well. I did get you something?", he said pulling out sugar crystals on a stick.

" Where did you get rock candy?", Anko asked in confusion.

" From the Icee stand"

"..."

"..."

" I'm really going to think over your offer", Guren groaned.

Iruka looked to the woman in the poofy dress in confusion, but before he could say anything.

" It's Bakusho Bear!", Reiko shouted happily as she pointed at an actor walking along the path.

The adults weren't as excited. Mostly because Bakusho was staggering. The bear's treck stopped when it swerved into a cluster of garbage cans and knocked them over, sending him down as well. He wasn't getting back up.

" Mommy, something's wrong with Bakusho", Reiko stated worriedly.

Anko and Iruka tried reassuring their daughter as Guren started barking over her mic that she had a downed bear in sector 3-B. Apparently they had emergency teams stationed everywhere cause they were on the scene in seconds.

Apparently they were new because the first thing they did was pull Bakusho's head off.

" AAAAAAHHH!¡", their daughter screamed as the head rolled towards the family.

" Alright. We're getting out of here", Anko proclaimed as she consoled her bawling daughter. Iruka agreed wholeheartedly.

" Are you sure you don't want to stay for the one o'clock parade?", Guren asked sarcastically. Both parents paled at the thought.

" No chance in hell. Just remember my offer and have a good day Princess Yukishiro", Anko stated crassly. So much for childhood innocense.

*Back in Konoha*

" Whatever, let's just get the cake started", Ino sighed.

" Yosh!", Naruto proclaimed, holding up the scroll.

As he rolled it across the table the adults all gathered round to sing.

*POOF*

" **Happy Buegh!**"

There was a table sized cake... with a picture of a naked Ino and Sakra dancing around a penis like a fireman's pole. Everyone was gawking. Ino and Sakura were gawking and turning cherry red.

"NARUTO!¡", Ino screamed at her openmouthed husband, who quickly countered.

" Your great aunt!"

"YUNA!¡!¡", was heard across the village. Then a cackle.

" Yeah, she did the same thing to us", Inoichi admitted while his wife blushed as badly as her daughter.

" Didn't you look at it before?¡", Ino yelled at her husband.

" No! She had sealed it up already!", he deffended.

" Baka! Why didn't you check it before you came here?¡"

" Oh yes Ino, I'm going to unseal a giant table cake to make sure there are no pictures of my naked wife and our friend poledancing around my shlong!", Luckily the kids were outside still playing when he said it.

Sakura stared at the cake whilst listening to the ridiculous conversation Ino and Naruto were having. *twitch* *twitchtwitch* " hhuh..hehe...hahaha...HAHAHAHAHA!", she started laughing hysterically, to where she held her sides and crouched over in her chair.

All arguments and gawking were forgotten as EVERYBODY stared at Sakura. Either she was getting better...or she just went insane. Both results were possible in this place.

"g-go- hahah gomen. I couldn't help it.", she strained out as her laughter died down and her meek self retook control.

"Awww come on. that was a great laugh. Just means you're getting better", Naruto coaxed. She didn't look as glum as she used to. Little by little.

" Anyways, what the hell do we do about _this_?", Ino waved her hand at the cake...then glared at Jiraiya and Kakashi to make sure they weren't ogling it. They turned quick.

" Just cut it up. The kids won't know what the hell it is", Tsunade answered for them. It made sense.

So after singing happy birthday, the cake got passed around, they guys teased Naruto about how they were eating part of his wife. Naruto shot back that they were also eating a part of his dick, which shut them up quick, and vise versa with Ino and the girls. Ino and Naruto ate most of Sakura. Gifts were passed, which was just as awkward.

As night came, everyone said their goodbyes and made their way back home.

It was while Ino and Naruto were cleaning up that it all seemed worth it.

" Ino...Naruto", the heard behind them as they wiped down the table. The looked just in time for Ino to be wrapped in a hug by Sakura.

" Thank you.", she squeaked out as tears stained Ino's shirt.

" You deserved it...well, not the naked cake part...or the LINGERIE", she stated loudly as she glared at Naruto.

"I got you a set too", he argued none too effectively.

" Baka! you don't buy lingerie for friends!".

" Probably not...but I did!", he sung. She knew why, she just didn't think he'd give it to her as a BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

Sakura stopped crying a while ago and was just blushing red.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

" Yeah. Yamato thought it was funny as hell. He told Kakashi to wag his tail and got a copy of Icha Icha to the head", Naruto replied with a laugh, which Sakura joined in on.

" It's too bad we don't have you out there with us. It would be just like old times.", Naruto sighed, causing Sakura to pause in her procedure.

" I miss it...but I never belonged out there Naruto. I've done more good here than I ever did on the field. Besides, I have our...err my daughter to raise. I'm happy with just being in the reserves.", she replied quietly.

"You know Ino doesn't care if you call Tsubaki "ours" Sakura."

Yes. Tsubaki was Sakura's and Naruto's daughter. Her mother's pink hair, and her father's blue eyes. It was an unexpected result of "Operation: Blooming Sakura".

*ohgoddammitit'sanother FLASHBACK*

It was a couple weeks after Sakura's deranged birthday party that Ino and Naruto decided to implement the plan they concocted. It came from endless discussion, alot of arguing, and the agreement that it would help her recover quicker, and since she was already part of the family, it wasn't THAT big of a leap.

It also helped that Ino had lots of prior experience, though this was Sakura, not Naruko.

" Oi, Sakura", Ino called into the living room where Sakura was cleaning. Sakura looked up in curiosity to see a slightly nervous, very much blushing Ino in the hallway.

" Umm, could you come into my room and help me with something?", Ino asked.

"S-sure", Sakura complied, putting down the duster.

Once they were both in Ino's bedroom, she held up a set of lingerie that looked alot like the one she got for her birthday, and a maid outfit.

" I was wondering if I could see what you look like in this", Ino managed to request.

Sakura blushed like a tomato, "Uh, umm-"

" It's for Naruto, b-but I want to see what it looks like from a third person perspective", Ino stutered.

Sakura wondered why Ino didn't use her 360 degree mirror setup in her walk-in closet, but didn't want to argue.

" S-sure", Sakura squeaked out as she took the costume and went into the adjacent bathroom.

Ino bit her lip, ' This had better not go bad', she thought as she opened up her closet, and pulled out an almost identical maid costume.

* A little while later*

Sakura's face was on fire as she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror.

The skirt was too short, to where the top of her light pink stockings and the adjoining garter straps were visible. If she bent down, the pink see-through thong would be on display for anyone to see. The dress fit her perfectly, making her wonder how Ino was ever going to get her much bigger breasts into it. A maid headdress in hot pink, the same color as the outfit, adorned her head, and a pair of equally hot pink, platform high heels with ankle straps finished it off. She didn't know if she even wanted Ino to see her in this. But with a shuddering sigh, she opened the bathroom door.

"I'm finish-sh", Sakura trailed off as she stared wideeyed at Ino, who was wearing a purple and violet version of the same outfit.

"I-Ino", Sakura stuttered out as a blushing Ino strutted up to her in the same heels except in purple. Before Sakura could say anything else Ino bent forward and coupled her lips with Sakuras. Sakura's eyes were wideopen, and almost fell out when Ino's tongue pushed it's way into her mouth and started massaging hers. Ino pulled away after a while but only far enough to looks into Sakura's eyes.

" W-w-what...", Sakra stuttered in shock.

" W-we're friends Sakura...well I guess this would be "more than friends", but I want to help you past the meek little girl I've seen in the last year. I want to see what this Sakura looks like bloomed. A-and if I have to be your lover to do it, then I sure as hell will", Ino stated with nervousness.

Sakura was confused and lightheaded. "I-Ino..."

"Ssshh", Ino quieted her, then locked her lips with Sakura's again before reexploring the pinkette's mouth with her tounge again. After what seemed like an hour, Sakura's bodly relaxed and Ino felt her start to kiss back 'Perfect'.

Ino pulled away a second time, yet slowly to let a string of salive stretch from her tongue to her half lidded "friend's".

Sakura was so lightheadded that Ino had no problem leading her over to the bed and pushing her down onto it, before straddling her, and continue kissing her while also exploring other parts of her as well. Sakura gasped into Ino's mouth as the blonde's hand pushed underneath her thong and started tracing her folds with the tips of her fingers, simultaneously kneading her small breasts underneath the see-through lace bra. Sakura breathing quickly turned into panting, but not before Sakura started fondling Ino's breasts as well elliciting a moan from the blonde.

Then Sakura heard a door shut.

And she remembered Ino was a married woman.

Sakura tried jumping out from under the blonde but she had her pinned. She tried pushing Ino off of her, but the blonde used one of her hands to pin Sakura's above her, since Ino still had her super strength and Sakura's went out of practice with the loss of her control. She tried warning Ino but they only came through as moans into Ino's mouth.

"Oh? What do we have here?", she heard Naruto bellow in the doorway.

Ino's eyes widened and she pulled away to look at Naruto with a horrified visage, " N-Naruto-sama!".

'Naruto...sama?'

" It looks to me like my two naughty maids have been having fun by themselves!", he bellowed.

'HIS two naughty maids?¡'

'...ooohhhhhhhh...NARUTO'S INVOLVED TOO?¡' Sakura thought shockingly.

It was obvious they were roleplaying. But apparently she was part of it as well.

"I-I can explain, GYAAH!", Ino cried out as Naruto tweeked one of the exposed nipples on her D-cups.

" There's no need! With such incriminating evidence, I'm going right to the punishment!", he roared as he sat down and pulled Ino over her lap by her nipple. He then pinned her arms behind her and lifted up her frilly skirt.

*SMACK*

" Ugh! Na-Naruto-sama!"

"Start counting!"

*SMACK*

"N-Ni"

*SMACK*

*San!*

*SMACK*

*Sh-shi!*

Sakura looked on from her position on the bed as Ino's ass bounced with every smack Naruto laid on it, which started turning a nice shade of red. It was...causing her to get wet, as much as she didn't want to admit it.

*SMACK*

*Kyuu!*

*SMACK*

*Juu!*

With the last one, Naruto bodily picked up Ino and tossed her onto the bed. Then he looked at Sakura, who's eyes lit up in realization as she gasped.

"Your turn"

Before she even got a word out of her mouth, her nipple was caught. As she gasped out he pulled it, leading her across his lap where he did the same thing he had to Ino.

"Na-Naru-"

*SMACK*

"Haa!", she cried out in surprise as he smacked his hand on her ass.

"Start counting naughty girl"

"Wh-wha-"

*SMACK*

*Ha! N-nnni*

*SMACK*

*Ugh. San"

"Louder!"

*SMACK*

*Sh-shi!"

Sakura figured out pretty quickly that the sound was more terrifying than they actually were. She felt sparks sting across the region of her butt that Naruto smacked, which started a growing feeling in her nether regions that was quickly accelerating up into her abdomen.

*SMACK*

"Haa-Hachi!"

*SMACK*

"Ughuu-K-KYUU!"

*SMACK*

"JUUGHGHGH!", Sakura's body spasmed after the last smack and it wasn't until 12 seconds later that she started gasping for breath. Ino looked in amazement at the folds of Sakura's pussy between her closed legs as it twitched and drenched the thin fabric of the thong she was wearing. Naruto's surprise was quickly schooled as he got back into character.

" What is this? Did my naughty little maid cum from being spanked?", Naruto stated in mock disappointment.

Sakura was still regaining herself from the orgasm, " G-go-gomen Naruto-s-samaHA!", she rose up in pitch when he pressed his fingers to her thong covered slit and dragged them upwards and inspected them.

" It seems I'm going to have to punish you even more. Ino! Clean up your sister.", he ordered.

Sakura went wideeyed and looked back to see Ino crawling towards her. A moment later, Ino lapped at the fabric of her thong before pulling it aside and thoroughly cleaning Sakura, causing the pinkette to gasp and shudder. Just before she got to number two-

"Stop", he ordered, to which Ino did and sat back with her legs folded and hands on her lap.

Sakura was reeling in confusion and frustration as the tension subsided slowly, leaving an ache in it's place.

" Now it's time for the main course"

Ten minutes later found Sakura and Ino bound in a spreadeagle 69 position, with Ino on top of Sakura. Both were harness gagged and staring at eachothers pussies.

And then Naruto walked in fully nude and popped a clone. They then crawled across the bed and between Sakura's and Ino's legs. Sakura's eyes widened as the clone in front of her face started rolling a condom down his shaft, which meant the one behind her was as well.

She moaned and writhed against her bonds as the Naruto started working lube into her pussy, Ino following suit soon after. She watched as Naruto lined his dick up with Ino's pussy, and her breath hitch as she felt something prod hers as well.

" Don't worry Sakura, I won't just dive into you like I will Ino...wellll" Naruto drawled as both Naruto's pushed in. Sakuras pussy exploded into pain as Naruto broke through and buried himself into her at the same time he did Ino.

Ino watched from above as blood leaked out of Sakura's parted folds. Naruto wasn't moving inside either of them. He was up to something. After he felt Sakura had started accomodating him, he started to pump...in synch.

Sakura's winced as the last waves of pain were pumped away and started turning into a feeling she could learn to enjoy. She looked in front of her in surprise. Every thrust Naruto made into Ino synched with the one the other Naruto made into Sakura. It was like she was watching him fuck her. Well, if you ignored the blonde tuft above the pussy. Either him fucking her, or him fucking Ino in front of her, both were a turn-on as she felt the tension and ache start climbing to new heights until.

She didn't know how they did it

Naruto didn't know how they did it.

Ino didn't say a word and just smirked when asked.

Two girls cried out through gagged mouths and two Narutos let out heavy grunts as they all climaxed together.

Both girls panted into the others crotch as Naruto tied off the condom and threw it into the garbage leaving a splooge stain where it bounced.

He rewrapped for another round and switched sides.

" Well that was a good first round. Ready for round two?"

Both girls cried out through their gags.

* The next morning*

Sakura cracked open her bleary eyes to a predicament she would never have figured she'd be in.

She was naked and sandwhiched between to equally naked blonds. Arms were astrewn and Ino's hand was on her ass.

Sakura's stirrings woke Ino up. Blue eyes met green. Ino's eyes showed she was expectant of something. Sakura was confused until she just winged it. Coupling her lips with Ino's she gave a chaste kiss. Ino's expression turned into a victorious smile.

" Ohayo", she greeted quietly.

"O-ohayo", Sakura stuttered with a blush.

"So...how was it?", Ino asked.

"...Is...this a one time thing?", Sakura asked unsurely. It was enough of an answer for Ino.

" Just remember that we are married, so if you want to play with us, you come to me", Ino said seriously.

"Hai...Does that make me your naughty maid Ino-sama?", Sakura asked playfully. It surprised Ino for a second before she replied.

" I guess it does Sakura-chan", Ino hummed before going in for another kiss.

Their fun was halted when Naruto started mumbling in his sleep and squeezed the girls closer to him, forcing them to squiggle their way out of his one armed bear hug.

" Maybe we should wake him up", Sakura suggested as he started mumbling about "fucking lawn ninjas".

" I guess we can...", Ino's eyes lit up in realization before a smirk played on her face. She leaned in and whispered something to Sakura that made her blush.

Naruto was having a dream about Grass Shinobi trying to steal his vegetable garden. He didn't know WHY they wanted his vegetables, nobody does when they dream.

He was pulled out of his dream when he started feeling something pleasurable happening. With a groan he opened his eyes, and then groaned more as the pleasurable sensation came full force. His eyes looked down at the source of the distraction to see a big bulge in the sheets where his crotch was.

A wakeup blowjob from Ino?...It's not Father's Day, it's not his birthday, it sure as hell wasn't Christmas.

He decided she must have just been in one of those moods. He pulled the sheets back to watch her handiwork, only to be surprised at what he saw.

Ino and Sakura nibbling and licking down both sides of his stiff member while looking at him. Ino looked as beautiful as ever, and Sakura's eyes shone with more life than he could ever remember seeing in them in years.

His reaction was therefore very much accurate.

" Sasuke, you were one stupid mother fucker"

The girls giggled, knowing what he meant, before going back to giving him the biggest orgasm he had ever felt.

*Two weeks later*

Ino sat at a table on one of the balconies/outcroppings that adorned the old buildings walkways. Most of the walkways had hanging gardens afixed to the rails. They had a main garden on the roof but Naruto put these in as well for character, stating it was a change from just having trees growing out of their house like much of Konoha. She still couldn't believe she found a green-thumb like her. She liked this outcropping the best because it faced into the village. Down and to her left, she could see the neon signs of the businesses they owned spark to life as sunset started to fall casting a shadow over them. She felt the warm breeze roll across her face and listened to the water features trickle and clank as they served their main purpose of watering the hanging gardens.

She took a sip of the tea she held in her hands and looked down at the white stick that had put her in such a downtrodden mood.

The end of the stick was blue.

She had tried over and over again just to make sure but it kept coming up the same.

It didn't make any sense to her since they had always used protection.

It made more sense when they tested one of the condoms and found out it leaked.

They tested another and it leaked in the same place. The whole box was probably deffective. They didn't want to rip them all open should they need to use them as evidence in court. That is, if the company didn't just comp them.

That wasn't the problem. She was pregnant. Just an unexpected surprise that was 9 months in the making, and another life that her and her husband could coddle and adore.

No. The problem was it was the same box of condoms they had used for THAT night, and she knew Naruto, the real one, had sex with both of them.

Sakura had gone off to "get some things" a while ago. She seemed to be in a rush. It was right after Ino came back from "getting some things". She couldn't track a pregnancy like Tsunade could, hell she never even learned how to track a pregnancy at all. It's only when the fetus forms a beating heart that she could go "Ahaaa!".

She had a feeling Sakura had the same morning episodes she had, saw the test, and put two and two together.

The warm wind rolled across her face again as the sun dipped over the horizon and the outside mood lighting flickered on, illuminating the gardens and water features. It would be a warm night.

She heard a muffled beep from inside the house. Hopefully it didn't wake the kids.

When Ino finally spied the pink haired girl coming up the steps, she got her answer. Sakura looked like she was walking to her death. She was paler than usual and she was holding on to the same stick Ino had in front of her. She must have went to a public bathroom. That's why it took her so long. The mood lighting allowed for Sakura to get within ten feet of Ino before she even saw her sitting at the table, and when she did she froze on the spot with a look of terror and dropped everything she was carrying. Ino looked down at the sticks that adorned the ground, all with dark coloring at the ends of them. She looked back up at Sakura.

"...Blue?"

Sakura started shaking like a leaf and jumbling out apologies and whatnot, looking like she was resigned to Ino trying to kill her.

A tiny voice in Ino said as much. Just jam a kunai into the base of her skull and move the body quietly through the night to one of the many places you could dump a body in Konoha and be done with this clusterfuck. The same one that had told her not to share herself and Naruto with the pinkette. Ino crushed that voice like a bug.

Ino got up from her seat and walked towards Sakura, who clammed up and looked like she was bracing for the kill move, or a punch to the face at least. Ino grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her towards the table. She tensed up even worse.

" I'm not going to push you off the balcony Sakura so lighten up and sit down", Ino huffed as she pushed Sakura down into the chair across the table from hers before reseating herself as well.

" The condoms were deffective. And if I remember correctly, I pushed you into it".

"B-but I could have said no. I could have stopped at any time", Sakura mumbled still waiting for Ino to do a 180.

"That...would have been a situation worse than this one. I don't think we could even look at eachother if that had happened. At least this is manageable", Ino replied with a grimace.

Sakura had to concede that.

"I-I'll go to the hospital and get an abortio-"

"NO!"

Ino's voice echoed across the buildings below as she glared down at the frozen pinkette who looked back at Ino in terror.

Ino composed herself before sitting back down and grabbing onto the tea mug with adrenaline flooded hands.

" Sakura, if it's not a product of rape or killing you from the inside out, do not even THINK about THAT", Ino growled.

"G-g-gom-men", Sakura choked out. Guilt took over Ino's expression.

"...No. I'm the one who should be apologizing", Ino admitted. She was a wife and a mother of two kids. Sakura was not. A first pregnancy is already a scary prospect for someone not from a clan. Add to that the father is already married to your "friend"...if Ino and Sakura were switched around, Ino would be scared shitless and looking for ways out too. It was Ino that needed to resolve this with her position. One she had been thinking about since she came to the realization that Sakura might be pregnant.

"If... it was a child from a previous marriage or something, Naruto would still be it's father and he would act the role as well. I wouldn't have any right to say otherwise. The same goes for this. Naruto is your child's father. I don't have any right to take that away from it. Your baby keeps her father, and I keep my husband. We're all a family anyways. But the rules still stand, except we're doubling the contraceptives so this never happens again.", Ino declared.

Tears rolled down a shocked Sakura's cheeks.

" What I want to know, is are you going to keep it, or give it up, there are no other options". Ino stated with an expectant stare.

Sakura looked out over the balcony, obviously contemplating what both decisions would mean. It was close to 10 minutes before Sakura turned back.

"I-I want to keep it", Sakura mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you"

" I said I want to keep it"

"Speak louder!"

" I'm keeping it!"

"LOUDER!"

"I SAID I'M KEEPING MY BABY DAMMIT!"

Sakura went wideeyed as she listened to her voice echo across the village. She could hear whooping and clapping down on the street. Looking back at Ino, she could see a prideful smile play across her face.

" Don't let anybody tell you otherwise." Ino finished before she took a sip off her tea

*Beep*

" So...from the proclamation to the world...Sakura too?", Naruto asked as he made his way up the steps. Ino spied the ember of a cigarette hanging by his mouth in the dim light, something he only did when he was stressed out or mad...or both.

"What happened?", Ino had sent Naruto off with the box since the manufacturer was right in Konoha.

" Hope you don't mind, but I assumed Sakura was pregnant too. They're comping us 1,000,000 ryou, 500,000 each ( 1,000,000= $100,000) to keep it quiet."

He wasn't telling them something.

"So why are you smoking?", Ino asked wearily.

" They pulled them off the shelves a week before we bought them", he replied with a serious expression.

"Th-then how..."

" It's April Ino", Naruto supplied.

Both Ino's and Sakura's eye's widened.

" You mean...the store INTENTIONALLY sold us faulty condoms?¡", Ino yelled.

"It would make sense. We DID lead the Second Wave", Naruto replied conspiratorially.

There were two months now that companies drooled over. The First wave was concieved in July, and most of it was birthed in April, wich they named Black Month. The Second Wave was concieved in April and mostly birthed in January which they named Gold month, due to it being right after December (Christmas), which was a boon to travel destinations like Magikku Land, who actually were forced to close for the off season due to a very horrific character parade that traumatized hundreds of children. It would make sense for them to do something like this to bring in more income. Well fuck you Majikku Land! Go swealter down in the fucking swamp you built yourself in!

" H-how dare they do something like that! Do they actually think everybody is just going to pop a child out just cause we are?", Ino grit out through her teeth. No wonder the compensation was so generous. It was probably a fucking payoff. Bribe the store and comp the condom company in one big "Operation: Knock Up".

" I don't know Ino. How many people saw you buy the pregnancy test? Oh and then Sakura bought a pregnancy test..."

"..."

"..."

"We'll find out in the next few weeks. Other than that, there's too little evidence to level at anybody, so unless we want to make a humongous debate about it...well, we're stuck with two kids.", he stated as he went inside, then came back with two more mugs of tea before sitting down at the small table.

"So...what about you two? Was that yell a proclamation or an argument?", Naruto inquired.

" You are the father of Sakura's child. That's all there is to it. Be a father to it, just like you are with our children. Oh and we're doubling the contraception so this doesn't happen again",

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, " I'm surprised you're taking such a positive outlook on this Honey".

Ino fidgeted a bit, " We both wanted to help her...", Ino paused to try giving a good reason.

Naruto decided to help out, " How about this..", he spoke up, causing both girls to look at him.

" You're my wife. I am your husband. Sakura is OUR lover. We've shared our home. We've shared our fluids. And, barring the whole corporate conspiracy thing, we've decided to share the joy of motherhood with her as well just this once. I am going to help you like I always have, and WE are going to help her as well. Nothing has changed...except that I get to see TWO beautiful expectant mothers walking around my abode, SCORE!".

Ino whapped him over the head as Sakura gave a teary blush.

"Y-you guys have been better to me than anyone else", Sakura choked out.

Both blondes stopped bickering and looked at Sakura.

" Thank you...for everything"

Both blondes became sheepish. It was a heavy feeling knowing you've made such an impact on someone's life.

"Don't mention it Sakura-chan. After all, you get to go through the wonders of pregnancy with me", Ino stated with a smirk, causing Sakura to look weary. She had every right to.

" So what do we tell Narraku?", Ino asked. Tsunade was too young to care about anything but repeatedly shoving it in Ino's face that her first words were Dad, Ramen, and Dattebane.

" Easy. That he has two bothers, or sisters, or both, on the way."

" Coming from two different women"

" Err, we wanted two so we needed Auntie Sak'ra's help".

"...*snort* alright, then you get to tell him that".

"Gee, thanks"

The three looked on across the flickering lights of the village as the warm night breeze rolled past their faces.

" A nice night", Naruto said softly. The girls moaned an agreement.

*FLASHBACK TERMINATED*

The funny thing is, it did lead to a Third Wave. They first realized it when Ino did a diagnostic on Anko in the hospital. Her answer to Ino's question of why she was pregnant was telling.

" Oi! I missed the second one cause I was on a damn mission! I'm not skipping out on this one!"

Good god. The only thing more funny was that Kurenai was Ino's next patient But then Ayame was the next...and Yugao...and Tsunade...and her mother.

"Scrunch your left shoulder up to your back", Sakura directed, to which Naruto did, and she continued the process of inspection and correction.

She was damn good at it.

After Sakura got pregnant, she wanted to look for work so she was less of a "burden", and more of a supporting figure in the family. Ino and Naruto agreed wholeheartedly because of the determination she showed.

Guren was right about there being little work for former shinobi, even though Sakura was in the reserves. Though, he think it had more to do with the fact that one out of alot of couples took on jobs in rotating shifts to be there for their kids if anything happened to the other. So, seeing as she had a medical background, but was still working on gaining her control back, Naruto set her up in one of the massage parlors he owned...err, the one with no happy endings. He had to explain that to Ino...repeatedly.

She did pretty well. Then she started noticing her customers misaligned spinal cords, off center hips, bunched up muscle groups, thing that Konoha Hospital would tell you to "suck up" and send you on your way with, at most, a bottle of pain killers. She started correcting them, much to the surprise, then amazement of her customers. And so began Sakura's career as Konoha's first chiropractor. She used her medical knowledge to figure out how to correct a problem, and months later, was able to use the Mystic Green Palm for at least diagnosis and very light healing, though she had to import all her equipment from Kumo since Konoha had absolutely nothing she needed.

Her customer base grew by leaps and bounds and Naruto halved the building into an office for her. She was almost making a month what either Ino or Him would make from an A-ranked mission.

*SNAP* *SNAP* *SNAP*

"So where is Tsubaki anyways? I didn't see her back at the fort", Naruto mumbled under the ministrations.

"She's with Tsunade, Nagato, and Narraku, selling cookies if I remember correctly."

The new one, Nagato was from Ino, Born within the same week as Tsubaki. Wild red hair adorned his head, and vivid green eyes completed the look.

*With the "Brat Pack"*

" I have one aproaching from the south. Alright put on the Cutie Rays."

A woman walked up the street and stopped dead in her tracks when she spied the stand.

*sparkle sparkle* **"Konnichiwa! Will you please/palease buy our/auwr cookies?**"

Those sparkling eyes.

Those innocent smiles

Those cute faces!

The woman cried from the cuteness as she bought two bags and went on her way while still sobbing.

An 8 year old Narraku came out of the bush beside the stand, " Another success! That makes 27 suck-err customers that have fallen prey to the Cutie Rays!"

*Back with Naruto*

*Heh. He's probably trying to buy that tomohawk again before he starts the Academy next week.", Naruto mused as Sakura worked on his right shoulder

"Haha. Again? That thing was made for an adult", *SNAP* *SNAP*

" He doesn't see it that way", Naruto replied with a chuckle.

Their conversation was cut off as Sakura and Naruto heard her receptionist arguing with a very familiar voice. Seconds later Tsunade burst through the door.

"Oi! Gaki!",

" Oi Tsunade!", he shouted for a different reason as he covered himself.

"Oh no, your naked ass! Like I haven't stuck enough needles in it.", she waved off as she went around the table to face him. Naruto had to give her that...and then he spied what she had in her hand.

"*Snort* Where'd you get the cookies Tsunade?", he asked trying to hold in the laughter.

" The hoarde of adorable kids that would have made me feel like heel if I had just walked past them", she grouched accusingly at Naruto.

"It was probably Narraku's idea"

"Obviously", she huffed as she sat in Sakura's office chair.

" So...what brings you in here Tsunade-sama?", Sakura asked unsurely as she tried to continue.

" I'm stepping down"

Sakura froze and both of them looked wideeyed at Tsunade.

" As Hokage?", Naruto asked.

" No, as the worst gambler in history of course as Hokage!", Tsunade shouted in annoyance.

" And..you in here to...", Naruto led.

" Tell you that I'm not making you my successor".

You could hear a pin drop

"W-what?"

" Naruto, you're still young. While you have a damn good reputation, and a hell of alot more support and negotiating power with this district backing you, you still have the potential to gain more before you're shoved into that seat. The one I did name my successor is, I hate to say it, even more popular than me", she stated humbly.

Naruto's mind churned the information into the only logical conclussion. One that made him go, "OOHHHHHHHH!"

"Besides", Naruto started with a crooked smirk, " You've been in that seat for almost twelve years, it's only fair that he gets to suffer the same fate?".

Tsunade smirked, " Damn right it is".

" Who?", Sakura asked curiously.

"Jiraiya", Tsunade stated.

" Oh god! Womenkind is doomed!", Sakura mock cried.

" Oi! He's my husband! I'll keep him in line!"

"Says the woman that was the sole creator of The Hunt", Naruto reminded.

" Err, shut up. Anyways! Once he's done his time, he'll be the one giving you the hat. More symbolic if it's between a teacher and student, something that hasn't happened since the Niidaime and Sandaime."

" Sounds good. I wasn't looking to get into the position until after my kids are in the Academy anyways", Naruto agreed.

" Speaking of which, First Wave in huh?", Tsunade reminisced.

" Yeah. 8 years since that crazy ass day", Naruto followed suit.

"...Did either of you do supply shopping for your kids yet?", Sakura asked knowingly.

Both blanched.

"**Crap**"

Naruto paid Sakura for the half treatment and went on his hurried way, still trying to put on his shirt, much to the pleause of the women who whooped and cat called as he walked past, Tsunade going the same way.

One of the girls wanted that as a poster in her room.

*Flash*

*A week later*

Narraku marched down the road with as much of a serious face as an 8 year old could manage. His parents and " Aunt" walked behind him on their way to the Academy for his first day.

When they got there, they couldn't believe the turnout.

Kakashi and Yugao

Iruka and Anko

Guren with her daughter, and Yukimaru her adopted son.

Ayame and Izumo

Kotetsu and Shizune

Jiraiya and Tsunade

Ino's parents.

Chouji with his wife, a desk ninja that had caught him

Shikamaru being barked at by Temari

A HELL OF ALOT OF HYUGAS AND INUZUKAS. *snort* Including Neji and Hana.

All with their children.

They also saw...eeek...Hinata and Kiba.

Naruto caught Hinatas eyes and a death glare sparked through hers for only an instant before she turned back to her daughter and husband.

" Yeesh. She is not happy with you.", he heard Ino comment.

" Probably not either of us. Me for not returning her feelings, and you for getting me".

"Let's just hope Narraku doesn't become smitten with her daughter. That's not a "meeting of the parents" that I would look forward to.", Ino grimaced.

" Unless you were having your "week", Sakura supplied.

" Oh be quiet. Just because of that ONE time", Ino huffed, then looked down at her son.

He was badass

He thought of himself as such

He had a tomahawk hanging on his hip

...even if the handle was too long and caught his leg sometimes making him stumble.

He would be the envy of every other boy in his class, even that no good "uncle" of his.

Then his Mom dabbed a napkin with her tounge and wiped the dirt off his cheek from a previous stumble.

"Ahh! Mom! Stopit! Stopit! Stopit!", Narraku whined as she cleaned his cheek off.

"I'm not letting my son go to school looking like a hooligan now hold still!", she fired back as she licked the napkin again and cleaned his other cheek, much to his embarassement.

* With Tsunade and Jiraiya

"No skirt flipping"

"Yes"

"No mirrors on you sandals"

"Yes"

" No streaking!"

"Yes!"

" No "mistaking" the bathroom signs"

"Mom I get it!"

Tsunade sighed, " Yeah, sure you do", she grumbled sarcastically.

Hashira was a natural born pervert, and she was losing the battle.

* With Iruka and Anko*

"Just because your father's going to be your teacher, doesn't mean you get to goof off...but if you do it better be damn good"

"Anko!"

"What?", Anko asked innocently.

"So. If I goof off, make it count", Reiko surmised.

" That's my girl! Oh, and don't give your father grey hair too fast, I don't need him looking older than me", Anko stated with a frown.

Iruka just gave up, hoping that his son wouldn't turn out like his wife as well.

"Just go up there and give them your boring speech"

*5 minutes later*

"God this is a boring speech", Naruto mumbled, elliciting Ino to regain her balance from trying to fall asleep standing up.

"How the hell did we get through this thing when we were kids?", Sakura asked incredulously.

" If I remember right...I released a cage of pigeons and threw birdseed at the superintendent that was giving the speech", Naruto reminisced, which cause Ino and Sakura to bust up laughing remembering it.

Their boredom was halted as Reiko silently walked up to stand behind and to the left of her father, then started mocking his speech. Snickers started emanating through the crowd but Iruka couln't hear them.

Tsunade was too busy snickering that when she looked, Hashira was gone.

He reappeared again sneaking up behind Reiko with a mischevious smirk.

" Oh you better not you little..", Tsunade mumbled warningly.

He did.

"BAM!" *FLIP*

Reiko's eyes went wide as the back of her skirt flapped up showing her bear panties, freezing her up as she gasped. Iruka stopped his speech to see what was going on behind him, but only saw a yellow and purple blur fly past him.

" I'm going to kill you!", Reiko roared as Hashira ran away laughing madly.

" Woo! That's my boy! *BAM*"

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM BAKA!", Tsunade roared at her husband.

" Kick his ass Reiko! Err...but not too badly", Anko compromised under the stare of Tsunade.

" Ino"

"What"

"Where did Narraku go?"

"I'll save you Hashira!", A yellow, purple, and yellow streak flew past the gathering.

" Nevermind", he replied as the streak ran past with silver now.

" And to think, we get to do this two more times", he added with a hysterical chuckle.

"Umm, three", Ino admitted. He went absolutely white before falling over forwards.

Everybody cocked their head at her with realization.

Her looked turned into a glare as she pointed at all of them, " DONT. EVEN. THINK ABOUT IT!¡"

The cameraman just decided to take the damn picture and get the hell out of there.

*Flash*

What he caught was Ino running after a bunch of women. Sakura trying to revive a catatonic Naruto, and Rin, Reiko and Hashira cartwheeling through the air after tripping over Narraku, who had stumbled over his tomohawk handle again. All the others looked to be groaning.

It was so screwed up that it belonged in the Uzumaki/Namikaze photo album, going all the way back to the picture that started it all, Naruto and Ino in school uniforms with her parents.

Okay. So I lied. Don't expect it in the next couple...cause those will be bad endings.

And the reason I could type this montster up is purely the amount of time I had.

Oh!

*Omake*

"_There is just one moon and one blazing sun."_

_"And smile means hapiness to everyone"_

_"So it's time we ally"_

_"So we clear up the sky"_

_"it's a small shi-no-bi world"_

"This is fucking stupid", Tsunade mumbled as she glared at the Suna ninja puppets that apparently lived in sand dunes.

Her husband was beside her restraining himself oh so horribly from breaking out laughing.

Her kids were in the car in front of them looking on in wonder.

The scene changed to the Konoha one as the ride moved on.

"ohfuck *snort*", Jiraiya whined out out before he had to physically hold himself back from busting a gut when he saw the pupets dancing around on trees that were also houses.

Tsunade's eye twitched rapidly. It's like they just took the names of the villages and directly went off of them. It would explain why the Kumo puppets were dancing around on cloud houses.

Her eyes widened as the last exhibit came up showing her dancing with Gaara and the other Kages.

"NNKKKAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", Jiraiya let loose and started laughing like a madman.

Tsunade was glaring death at the puppets, but not enough to where she couldn't wonder which Kage could summon croco-"

" HISSS *SNAP*"

Jiraiya laughed even louder as the crocodile snapped around the Kage puppets and did a deathroll before animal control came into the exhibit to get the crocodile out of there. Her kids thought it was cool as hell.

She glared death at her huband before she pushed him out of his seat and into the water.

*Splash*

"PFFT! PFFFT! OI! THIS ISN'T WATER!"

She felt better, though she was going to give Jiraiya a piece of HER own medicine when they got back to Konoha.

They'd be building a puppet of him very soon.

Thoughts?


	8. A Modest Proclaimation

I've seen the chaos happening around this site due to the claimed enforcement of no mature content, something that has apparently not been enforced in a decade.

A decade.

That's a long time for a community to grow. And I've seen how much mature content this site has. To enforce it would be to pull the very foundation from underneath this community. Already, authors are fleeing to different sites and screaming that the world is ending.

I'm not going to do such.

I'm not going to edit my stories to be kid friendly, run for the hills, or fear that I will be banned off this site. I am going to keep updating my stories and put faith into the owners, mods, administrators, and whoever else, that to start deleting over half of the stories, alienating over half of the authors, and causing over half of their traffic to stop coming, would be not only folly, but downright self destructive. And if, by some chance I do find my stories deleted, I will not be coming back to fanfiction due to my loathing of AFF's "indexing" system.

Evil Incarnate Himself,

Viraqua

(P.S. I'll replace this with a Hinata bad ending by next week if this is still up)


End file.
